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No father to dance with for daddy/daughter

lilcasserslilcassers member
100 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
My father and I don't have a relationship. Both of my grandpas have passed. This is kinda a sore subject for me. I was thinking of boycoting the "parent dances" but my FI is close to his mom and of course he deserves to dance with her. Has anyone been to a wedding where they see a father/daughter dance or a mom/son dance and then not the other? Wondering if it would seem weird or if I should dance with my future brother in-law who I am close to.
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Re: No father to dance with for daddy/daughter

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It wouldn't be wierd at all to just have Fi and his mom dance.  It would be tragic to take that away from her though based on your relationship with your Dad.  If you WANT to dance with your brother, that is wonderful.  If you want to just sit that part out and have FI dance with his mom, that is also fine.  Just please don't take that moment away from his mom.
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  • lilcasserslilcassers member
    100 Comments
    Oh no, I said I wouldn't if you read above. And I am an only child-- I don't have a brother, that is my problem. It is like I have to "find" someone to dance with... pretty sad and pathetic.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Sorry about that.  I really must hit the coffee harder prior to knotting first thing in the morning.  You sound very thoughtful in your post.
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  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    How close are you with your Mom? I am foregoing the Dad/Daughter dance and doing it with my Mom.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    My DIL's dad passed away when she was young.  My son and I had our groom/mom dance, and then she danced with her brother.If there's someone else in your life who you would like to dance with~your FBIL for example~dance with them.  If not, don't dance.But thank you for not taking away that very special moment from your FMIL.  I would have been crushed to miss that moment with my son.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • lilcasserslilcassers member
    100 Comments
    thank you all. I'm not sure about dancing with my mom... kinda weird and akward lol. But yea, I may ask my FBIL to dance. We get along great and he is really fun. Not sure why I am thinking so deep into this. I guess it's because I envy those with a nice father because my dad is terrible.
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    My bio-dad is a total jerk ... I'm actually not even sure if he's really going to show up at my wedding. But I was blessed with an awesome step-dad. However, had I not been, and I had no brother or grandpa. I probably would be dancing with either my mom or another really important man in my life, like my God-father or best guy friend (Well, best guy friend that isn't FI). I do think it's sweet of you to ensure that FI and his mom get their moment, though. Best of luck!

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  • mavgirl_73mavgirl_73
    10 Comments
    I had the same situation with my Dad. At my first wedding I danced with my Mom, it was not awkward or anything, her and I are very close. If you choose to dance with someone whom ever that is just enjoy the moment.
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  • msange727msange727
    500 Comments
    i understand totally what you're thinking about -- my relationship with my dad disentegrated a while ago, and i keep thinking that i could have a dance with my mom, whom i'm very close to, but i don't want it to be weird...

    i may just skip it and have my fiancee have his dance with his mom.
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  • crimsonchikcrimsonchik
    10 Comments
    my dad hasnt been speaking to me since the beginning of my relationship with my (now) fiance.

    i would be very happy if he could adjust, get over himself and come to my wedding, but if he doesnt (which seems most likely) i havent decided what i will do as an alternative. .. . .

    it is a rather sad situation.
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  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I'm going to be dancing with my mom while my FI is dancing with his.
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  • jma1983jma1983
    10 Comments

    I like the idea of the FBIL...or how about an uncle?

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  • PhotobellaPhotobella member
    First Comment
    My dad passed earlier this year, and I dont get along with my step dad. Im thinking I may just do the dance with my FFIL. I already asked my FI and he said his dad would probley do it for me.
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  • liz745liz745 member
    100 Comments
    We are doing the father/daughter dance but skipping the mother/son dance. He loves his mom he just said he doesnt want to do it. So you can skip the father/daughter dance if you want or you if you are close with your mom you could have a special dance with her.
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  • kbreen7170kbreen7170
    10 Comments
    I like what someone suggested earlier about doing both dances at once.  If you feel like your dance will draw attention because it's not with your dad, why don't you and your partner, whoever it is, share the dance floor with your fiance and his mom?  It might be a cool bonding experience, and that way, it'll save time during the reception so that people aren't waiting for two dances to finish before hitting the dance floor.
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