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Stephi

Future Mrs ButterworthFuture Mrs Butterworth member
1000 Comments
in Wedding Woes
Also - divorce is considerably more expensive and draining than a wedding. And... you'd be surprised how much your house is part your H's when you get divorced, regardless of the fact that he will have amassed quite a collection of Blu-Ray DVDs instead of helping you with the mortgage.
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Re: Stephi

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    If I can add something else, too - I know before I was married, I heard a LOT of "marriage is work" "you need to work hard at it" "don't forget to put in the effort", etc., etc.But I have to say that my husband and I have never found our relationship to be "work". Yes, it takes consideration and thought, but a good relationship should be fun and fulfilling. You shouldn't feel as though you're constantly slogging through troubles and constantly working to make a go of it. Will there be tough times? Of course. Not everything is wonderful 24/7. Should those tough times happen every couple of weeks? NO. HELL to the no. People seem to think that the newly engaged have blinders on, or something, and are determined to make them see "the real world" or something by harping on how tough marriage is. Don't be led into thinking, though, that marriage is ONLY tough, or ONLY work - or even MOSTLY those things.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think the key, BMom, is that it should be enjoyable "work".
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    As always, V, you say it much more elegantly than I could. ;)
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    Also, work that once it is done, it is done. Not something to be repeated every 3 or 4 weeks. I effing hate re-runs.
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  • angel_linsangel_lins member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments
    I'm going to ditto and quote every single thing that everyone said in your original post and in this one.  When you said this: It's always about the same general stuff... him being unattentive or not caring when I'm sad... me snapping on him for doing the same crap over and over (i.e. calling me a wench when he doesn't get his way)... we're both pretty moody with each other. When we fight, he can let everything go and be perfectly fine the next day... and I dwell on it and just get madder and madder. He's content with us just being together... happy or not. And I am... not. Well, you could have been talking  about my relationship.  And guess what - I'm on my way to a divorce.  I wish I'd asked these questions and gotten these answers before I got married.  So please, please take the advice you've been given.
    The world's greatest bumper sticker: "No, you can't have my rights. I'm still using them."
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