Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How old is too old for a flower girl?

I thought we had a flower girl lined up for next year. She's five and very sweet related to my fiance. Problem arises when one of her parents the one not related to my fiance removes said child and starts a bitter custody battle. Uhg..... So angry not because of my wedding but for the little one's sake here.

Issue is now I probably have no flower girl. My daughter will be 10 and giving me away. My friends have mostly male children. I'm now in a sticky situation of how to find a child for a flower girl. How old is too old for a flower girl so as I spend the next month reviewing who has what child I can make a new decision on who will toss the flowers. Fiance also has a family member with two girls one will be 8 and one will be 7 so I'm leaning towards that route right now.
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Re: How old is too old for a flower girl?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-old-is-too-old-for-a-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:e987f13d-62c8-4448-b87c-1cda4b33ba70Post:4e5e7678-0292-4c66-8778-1697896dabe8">How old is too old for a flower girl?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought we had a flower girl lined up for next year. She's five and very sweet related to my fiance. Problem arises when one of her parents the one not related to my fiance removes said child and starts a bitter custody battle. Uhg..... So angry not because of my wedding but for the little one's sake here. Issue is now I probably have no flower girl. My daughter will be 10 and giving me away. My friends have mostly male children. I'm now in a sticky situation of how to find a child for a flower girl. How old is too old for a flower girl so as I spend the next month reviewing who has what child I can make a new decision on who will toss the flowers. Fiance also has a family member with two girls one will be 8 and one will be 7 so I'm leaning towards that route right now.
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do you reallly need a flower girl?  I think that you should only have children in the wedding if they're really close to you and your fiance.  I'd also worry about the feelings of the little girl who was supposed to be the flower girl--how will she feel when/if she sees pictures of your wedding or hears that she was replaced?</div><div>
    </div><div>To answer your question, though, the 7- and 8-year olds who are related to your fiance are age appropriate.  I think that 9 or under is pretty good, but there's no rule about it.</div>
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  • The one advantage is since we're 13 months out we had not asked the flower girl yet so she will not know. No one knew who we were considering.
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  • I would just skip the flower girl.
  • edited September 2012
    A girl is too old to be a flower girl when she tells you it's a baby job. But don't ask just for the sake of having a flower girl. Ask because you are genuinely close to the girl(s?) in question.

    ETA: My flower girl was 8.
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  • A friend of mine was a flower girl at 24. But sounds to me like this is more of a "don't replace people in your WP" situation.
  • My FG was 10. They are too old when they tell you they are too old.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-old-is-too-old-for-a-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:e987f13d-62c8-4448-b87c-1cda4b33ba70Post:52dde1c1-26cd-44d4-8028-e9d062965fb8">Re: How old is too old for a flower girl?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FG was 10. They are too old when they tell you they are too old.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
     ^^ Cute, and true!! <div>
    </div><div>My fg is my neice she is 7 and will be turning 8 right after my wedding. I don't think shes too old, however I did say that since there are no other weddings on the horizon, Im spoiling the crap out of her since this will probably be her last hoorah in the fg department (shes already been a fg 6 times, a professional for sure!). So either way the situation sucks but 7, 9, whatever - if they're excited, they're not to old. GL</div>
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  • I was pissed when, at 15, my uncle didn't ask me to be the FG in his wedding.  I'd been the FG in his other two weddings, why couldn't I be in that one!?

    But if there aren't any other little girls you're close to, I wouldn't worry about it.  Sounds like now you're trying to find someone just for the sake of having a flower girl.
  • Since the 6 year old isn't available (that feels like the upper age limit to me, although I've never actually been to a wedding with a flower girl), I'd say go without a flower girl.

  • My flower girls are 8 and 10. I did ask my nephew who will be 11 to be my ring bearer but his mother kept telling him he was to old, and telling me the girls were to old they should be junior bridesmaids....... Is there such a thing as sisterbridezilla???????
  • If you have the time, wait to see if the situation with the parent in question gets better. Maybe you'll be able to have her in the wedding after all. But maybe think of back up individual if you have your heart set on having a flower girl.

  • Our daughter was our flower girl for our wedding last month. She was 8. She just turned 9 a week ago.  I don't think there is such a thing as "too old" unless the  child you are asking tells you themself that they are too old for the job.
  • FI's 10-year-old (9 1/2 at the time) niece accounced "I want to be the girl with the flowers!" the day we announced our engagement to them... and I love her, so she shall have what she wants haha :) I had been thinking of her but that maybe she was too old, but was pumped enough to ask for it, so there ya go. Our other flower girl is her cousin, FIs other niece, who is 7. I think anyone who wants to do it is young enough :o)
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  • I was a flower girl when I was 12... ok that was 18 years ago, but still, I don't think etiquette on this has changed all that much.

    I agree with PP's though- you def do not need a flower girl.
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