Second Weddings

Son giving me away?

I was thinking of having my 12yo son give me away since my dad has already had that honor. Or maybe just skipping that "giving away" part all together and just have him escort me down the aisle. He is actually going to be my only attendant as well (no bridesmaids, etc.). Any thoughts? I really didn't want a wedding (I prefered to elope) but my fiance has never been married and wants the wedding. I even tried to go with a knee-length gown but he shot that down, lol. My son is very close to my fiance and has been referring to him as his step-dad for awhile (even before we got engaged, lol).

Re: Son giving me away?

  • edited July 2012
    My 13 year old is actually "passing" me to his new step father (his choice).  If your son wishes to do this then by all means...do it!!!!  Laughing
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  • The running joke around here is that my BF's husband should give me away because he'll finally get his wife back!  (She thinks she's my wedding coordinator.) 

    My daughter who will be 19 is going to walk me down the aisle.  I don't look at is as giving me away, I look at it as we are a package deal...lol. 

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  • My 12 year old son is giving me away as well. It symbolizes he is no longer the little man of the house. LOL I made sure he wanted to do it first.
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  • I'm thinking about doing the same thing I don't have a wedding party either and I wanted to do destination just me and FI since this is my 3rd but its his first he wants a wedding and since this is the 3rd and I never had a real wedding why not..but my father passed when I was 2 and I thought about my mom but she wouldn't be able to walk me down the ailse due to her health i'm thinking about asking my soon to be  15 yr so I really think its a great idea
  • Leo379Leo379 member
    First Comment
    Both of my sons are escorting me down the aisle. They are older than everyone else's sons but my father is dying from Alzheimer's and won't be at the wedding at all. Wouldn't be even if he is still alive as he hasn't known any of us for months and is pretty much confined to a wheelchair/bed. I am very happy about me sons doing it and they were very happy I asked!
  • I asked my sons, as well. They are 18 and 12. I will talk to Dad, but I think he will be understanding of that choice. My fiancé wasn't thrilled (he feels my 12yr old already has enough trouble thinking he is "grown"!) but said he totally respected my wishes if that was what I wanted to do. My sons have been very protective of me the last five years and have each seen themselves as the man of the house. I wanted to recognize that as much as I want my younger son to respectfully complete this transition to his step father.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    You have asked for thoughts, here is mine ... My thought is consistent on this point: no adult woman should ever be "given away,"  not by her father, her brother and definitely not by her child. To each her own, though.  I think assigning that role to one's 12 year old son is a little ... um ... unsettling, creepy almost.  It intimates an inappropriate overlap of roles, by the child, in the bride's life.  Again, just my $0.02.
  • People are getting too hung up on the "giving away". My children, a son and a daughter, are 18 and 19 and are "escorting" me down the asile. I see it as my children showing they agree with my choice. But really it's your day, whatever you want to do is right for you, nobody else's opinion matters.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_son-giving-me-away?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:4c91f5fd-d513-4e69-9e4e-ee06773502d7Post:e127c715-4823-433d-aa63-34388823b255">Re: Son giving me away?</a>:
    [QUOTE]People are getting too hung up on the "giving away". My children, a son and a daughter, are 18 and 19 and are "escorting" me down the asile. I see it as my children showing they agree with my choice. But really it's your day, whatever you want to do is right for you, nobody else's opinion matters.
    Posted by jenirose123[/QUOTE]

    <div>My thoughts exactly.  My FI's children and grandchildren will all  walk ahead of him, following by his best man [his brother, was to have been FI's son, but he died unexpectedly in February], then FI.</div><div>
    </div><div>My daughter [13] is my Maid of Honor.  She will walk first, then me - escorted by my son [age 11].</div><div>
    </div><div>We will all gather at the altar and when our celebrant says "who gives this man and woman to be married" our children and grandchildren will say "we do".  We all planned this together.</div>
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  • Thanks for all the input!!
  • Your situation is exactly like mine! My 9 year old son is giving me away (i think sometimes he forgets that FI isnt his bio father lol) My son is super close to my fiance (three years ago my son told my mom that she was going to be just like him when he grew up )  My son is super excited to walk me down the aisle!
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  • My 20-year-old son asked me many years ago if he could give me away if I ever remarried.  I couldn't be more honored!

    We are having a very small ceremony on the beach and our three children will be our attendants (as well as part of the vows).

    It's only 12 days away now. I can hardly believe it (and still have so much to do!)
  • Hi...I'm new to the "theKnot" and this is my 2nd time around (the 1st was just a practice lol) and I have to say that reading (I'm not sure if that is considered lurking?? or not) but I'm so happy to hear (please no offence) that I'm not the only one having some difficulties with decisions about who should walk me down the aisle, who should be invited and can we do a cash bar or not.  I'm so nervous about the cost of the wedding (it's funny since I'm usually the one who likes to spend the $$) since i don't want to leave anyone out but we just can't afford a huge one.  My BIGGEST concern was not hurting my dad as well.  My mom insists that it should be my dad walking me down the aisle but i was hoping to have my boys (13 & 16) walk me down.  I talked to my fiance and he supports whatever decision I make but says it has to be mine not anyone else's decision.  It's been a couple of days and i have decided (especially reading some of the posts) that I will have my dad walk me down the aisle and my boys will stand up with my fiance (his suggestion) and I LOVE the idea.  I will have his daugher as my MH (21) and his son will be his BM (25). Wink
  • My son is giving me away. Of course my father passed away 30 years ago, so that helps in that delimna. We gave him the option of giving me away or being best man. He is 23.  I knew if he wanted the best man job I would have my brother do the honors.  My son is absolutely thrilled to take on the task!

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