this is the code for the render ad
March 2012 Weddings

Vent: Ceremony vs. Full Mass

So I'm getting married in a Catholic church and when fiance & I first picked the date the priest asked us if we wanted just a ceremony or the full mass. At the time I didn't know the difference so I just said a full mass. After speaking to a few more people in the church the only difference is communion is given in the full mass and not in the ceremony. Well the communion adds on about and extra 15-20 minutes to the whole thing so I called the priest and asked him is he could change it to just a ceremony. The priest was totally ok with this and said whatever my FI and I wanted was fine. I want it to be shorter bc honestly I don't want to have to kneel sit stand kneel again in my dress for communion and I want more time for picture taking after. Probably doesn't make me the best Catholic in the world but oh well lol.
On to the problem...my parents are furious now that FI & I will not be having a full mass. Like really?? We're still getting married in a Catholic church by a priest which was very important to them and I was totally fine with agreeing to. Everyday my father is calling me asking if I've called the priest back and told him to switch it back to a full mass. I don't want to hurt my parent's feelings but I don't want a full mass. I don't want to sit through it (again probably not a very Catholic thing to say) & I don't want to make my guest sit through it. I told my parents very politely FI & I do not want the full mass. Their response "What are people going to think?? What are your grandparents going to think?" I didn't think this would be such an issue. I'm still getting married in the Catholic church why can't that be good enough. I really want to say if you want communion so bad go to mass on Sunday and get it!!
How would you guys deal with this? I don't want to upset my parents and I really don't care what people will think. And now I have to deal with this a month before the wedding?!

Re: Vent: Ceremony vs. Full Mass

  • I kinda had the same dilemma but I decided to go ahead and do the full mass.  I kinda feel like the ceremony wouldnt be the same without communion.  Realistically it is only 15 mins.  Is it really going to make that big a difference ? That was the way I saw it. My family is really Catholic and I know people would want communion too so it wasn't too hard for me to make the choice :)  If I were you I would just have the mass.  I think 15 mins isn't worth the drama of making your parents upset. Just my opinion!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • This is an excellent time to set boundaries with your parents. You and your FI are joining together as a family unit and the two of you have decided NOT to have a full mass. Ask them to respect your decision and then move on to other topics.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • The only really Catholic people in my family are my parents and my dad's parents. No one else cares about getting communion. Some people on my side & in FI's family have even made comments along the lines of oh thank goodness your having a ceremony full masses are too long and boring. Not everyone in my family is Catholic anyway so they can't have communion and FI's family is not religious at all. I've never even been to a Catholic wedding ceremony. All the wedding ceremonies I've been too have been at the reception locations so I can't even convince myself it won't fell complete without communion. I just wish sometimes people would butt out and realize they've had their wedding day already let FI & I have ours.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_vent-ceremony-vs-full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:fcd77a28-712e-4576-aa34-229ce8293aa8Post:e17a0717-b4c5-40ca-8645-d5764824f4c2">Re: Vent: Ceremony vs. Full Mass</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>This is an excellent time to set boundaries with your parents</strong>. You and your FI are joining together as a family unit and the two of you have decided NOT to have a full mass. Ask them to respect your decision and then move on to other topics.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    Completely agree with what CU has to say.  You also have to think about your guests.  Are they all Catholic?  Would they all be comfortable with communion and is this something that is going to matter 10 years down the road whether you had communion or not?  My FI and I are not Catholic but we are getting married in a Church with the option of having communion.  We decided to forego the communion to make it accommodating to all guests and to allow more time for photos.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_vent-ceremony-vs-full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:fcd77a28-712e-4576-aa34-229ce8293aa8Post:e17a0717-b4c5-40ca-8645-d5764824f4c2">Re: Vent: Ceremony vs. Full Mass</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is an excellent time to set boundaries with your parents. You and your FI are joining together as a family unit and the two of you have decided NOT to have a full mass. Ask them to respect your decision and then move on to other topics.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    <div>This exactly. You two are adults and you've made a decision that they need to respect. End of story.</div>
    image
    March 2012 Knotties Siggy Challenge - Favorite Engagement Picture Follow Me on Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_vent-ceremony-vs-full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:fcd77a28-712e-4576-aa34-229ce8293aa8Post:e17a0717-b4c5-40ca-8645-d5764824f4c2">Re: Vent: Ceremony vs. Full Mass</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is an excellent time to set boundaries with your parents. You and your FI are joining together as a family unit and the two of you have decided NOT to have a full mass. Ask them to respect your decision and then move on to other topics.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    This exactly. I thought my FMIL was going to be upset that we aren't doing a full mass, but she wasn't. I'd just explain that this is what you and your FI want to do, and you hope that they can come to terms with it. Sorry they're giving you a hard time about it.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • After finding out that FI's family and friends are not religious, our priest actually recommended that we don't have communion to keep it from being awkward.  It sounds like you really don't want a full mass, so I agree that you need to do what you want to do!!
    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards