4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?

Veesmart · March 2013

My fiance has already asked 4 groomsmen (incl. best man) to be in our wedding party and they are all great guys and very close friends. However, I really only have 3 (incl. MOH) bridesmaids that I have asked to be part of the wedding. Our wedding is 17 months away so there is time, but I currently have no other options for bridesmaids who represent close/meaningful relationships to me.

One of the groomsmen is married to a woman who is a friend, but not a close/good friend. She is a very nice and would be absolutely honoured to be in the wedding (keep in mind her husband has already been asked).

What would you do?

Would you keep the wedding party as an uneven number or ask someone (who is still a very nice person, but not a close friend) for the sake of an even number?

Simply Fated · March 2013

I would keep the sides uneven. I'd much rather have people I'm close to up there with me than someone I'm not close to up there with me just to keep the sides even, ya know?

Veesmart · March 2013

Give me your honest opinions....Most are brides on this board and some have also been bridesmaids....Think of your pictures as a bride, think of your feelings as a bridesmaids...I'm interested in it all.

Veesmart · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_4-groomsmen-and-3-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9ebcb4d3-c1a7-4ac6-8761-1ecf2c941b99Post:6590af98-3fbb-4d95-95ec-f91a717ca4e2">Re: 4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would keep the sides uneven. I'd much rather have people I'm close to up there with me than someone I'm not close to up there with me just to keep the sides even, ya know?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yes, I totally know.</div>

Simply Fated · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_4-groomsmen-and-3-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9ebcb4d3-c1a7-4ac6-8761-1ecf2c941b99Post:d32647df-639c-483c-82aa-075ed19ec21a">Re: 4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Give me your honest opinions....Most are brides on this board and some have also been bridesmaids....Think of your pictures as a bride, think of your feelings as a bridesmaids...I'm interested in it all.
Posted by Veesmart[/QUOTE]
I've told this story before, here it is again...<div>
</div><div>When I was in my friend's bridal party, I overheard the bride and her fiance talking. She was saying how she might want to add in another bridesmaid. her fiance told her to let him know because then he'd have to ask someone. I remember thinking that was strange and couldn't put my finger on why. </div><div>Basically, it's because her fiance would just be adding someone in for the sake of keeping the sides even and NOT because he was particularly close to him. If he was, then he'd have asked him to begin with and if they wanted even sides, the bride would have to add someone in.</div><div>I remember thinking how the groomman would feel knowing he was asked after everyone else. And I felt bad.</div><div>
</div><div>I know if i was the one asked into the party just to even out the sides, it would be a backhanded compliment. I'm not close enough to be asked to begin with, but I'm good enough to help even the sides out? I've become a prop in someone's wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>Now, that's just adding someone in. If you start out with uneven sides, what is the purpose of having even sides, then? We know it can't be aethetics because there are plenty of bridal parties with uneven sides and their pictures are beautiful. We know it can't be an OCD thing because A) OCD isn't always about even numbers and B) anyone who actually has OCD knows not to give in to things like needing stuff to be even. So, what is the reason anyone would strive to have even sides? To me, it's just one of those customs that has lost it's place in modern society. </div>

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

Uneven sides don't matter a bit. Having people you love up there rather than 'Just bodies' does. A good photographer will place people so you don't even notice the uneven numbers in the pics. That and nobody looks at people's wedding photos and counts the party numbers. If they do, they need medication and have bigger issues.

Sara G to be · March 2013

We have 3 GM's and 2 BM's and are completely fine with that. FI has 3 good friends I have 2 no biggie

AJuliaNJ · March 2013

I'd keep it uneven. It will be a more enjoyable experience if you are close to the women in your BP. Also, I would feel weird about her spending money on a dress or contributing to a shower (if one is being thrown).

The only situation where I would have her in is if you become much closer to her in the next few months. You still have 17 months to go and things can change.

OliveOilsMom · March 2013

I had 5 BMs and H had 3 GM. We still had a wonderful wedding day because the people we were closest to were there with us. That is what mattered to us and that is what I think when I see our wedding pictures with the whole WP. Keep your WP the same.

Summer2011Bride · March 2013

Keep them uneven. Don't ask people you aren't close to for an arbitrary reason like even sides.

Tami87 · March 2013

We also had 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Plus we had one female usher and one male usher who were also included in pictures. Some of the picturs are in my bio link below if you want to see. I love my pictures and I care that the girls I love were up there with me not that the sides are not even. We had the girls walk in alone and guys up front and then for walking out one bridesmaid was escorted by two groomsmen and it was no big deal. You could also just have everyone walk single file out.

AddieCake · March 2013

You must have even sides. If you don't, wedding police will show up and your marriage will not be valid. We totes got arrested at ours. Just kidding. Nobody will care if the sides are uneven, and you shouldn't care, either.

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_4-groomsmen-and-3-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9ebcb4d3-c1a7-4ac6-8761-1ecf2c941b99Post:30eca190-1856-4745-9fb9-407d62420a44">Re: 4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]You must have even sides. If you don't, wedding police will show up and your marriage will not be valid. We totes got arrested at ours. Just kidding. Nobody will care if the sides are uneven, and you shouldn't care, either.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL! I kind of prefer to see uneven sides. Being around here and planning a wedding myself, I notice EVERYTHING at a wedding and uneven sides means that the bride and groom care more about the people they love than their pretty pictures. I'm not saying that even sides are wrong, just that it's unlikely that the bride and groom have the same number of close friends and family members. </div>

Maggie0829 · March 2013

Keep the sides uneven and only have those that are close to you in the wedding party.

To have even sides only for pictures sake is ridiculous. H and I had an uneven wedding party. He had 5 guys and I had 2 girls. Below is a picture of our wedding party (including our officiant who also happens to be a great friend of both H and I). Do you think the picture looks ridiculous? I don't. I look at the picture and smile and remember what a great day it was. I don't look at it and think "Man, this picture sucks because the sides are uneven."

maddynamite · March 2013

I also have 3 on my side and my fiance has 4 on his, and one is a woman! GASP OMG GASP!

I have no problem with this. My parents were concerend about the uneven sides and a woman on the "man's side", and eventually they got over it.

Funny, my fiance was concerned at first also. I told him I would not ask someone just to have even sides, and he felt silly afterwards

tammym1001 · March 2013

I have 4 bridesmaids and my fi just has his best man. When I told him that I had 4 girls he actually freaked out a little bit and said now I have to find 3 more people to ask! When I explained to him that he didn't and it would be fine he felt a lot better because he didn't want to just have people standing up there with him. I think it's perfectly fine to have uneven sides and only ask the people that you truly want in your wedding party.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

I think uneven sides are no problem. I think it's silly to add people just to even up sides. Also, if you're getting married in 17 months I think it's a bit soon to be picking your bridal party. I only say this because I don't even speak to two of the girls I would have chosen 17 months out and they were my very best friends. I don't mean to be negative just giving a warning. People can have a falling- out when they least expect it!

slgirl21 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_4-groomsmen-and-3-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:9ebcb4d3-c1a7-4ac6-8761-1ecf2c941b99Post:398e2d04-24f6-4e96-870d-828030c3f176">4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has already asked 4 groomsmen (incl. best man) to be in our wedding party and they are all great guys and very close friends. However, I really only have 3 (incl. MOH) bridesmaids that I have asked to be part of the wedding. Our wedding is 17 months away so there is time, but I currently have no other options for bridesmaids who represent close/meaningful relationships to me. One of the groomsmen is married to a woman who is a friend, but not a close/good friend. She is a very nice and would be absolutely honoured to be in the wedding (keep in mind her husband has already been asked). What would you do? Would you keep the wedding party as an uneven number or ask someone (who is still a very nice person, but not a close friend) for the sake of an even number?
Posted by Veesmart[/QUOTE]

Its fine to have uneven sides, I only have 3 BMs and my FI has 4 GMs. You want the women standing next to you to be your dearest and closest friends.

4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids?

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