Shower Guest List Etiquette

Re: Shower Guest List Etiquette

• adamar15 member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-guest-list-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d5f6248-6ae5-49d5-a205-823a2049b6c8Post:269d649c-83da-4d61-b297-9e4c3159fcee">Shower Guest List Etiquette</a>:
  [QUOTE]Back Story:   I moved to Germany about 1 1/2 years ago to be with my boyfriend, now fiance.  Our wedding is in the states and I'm flying back early to have the pre-wedding parties and help with preparations.  The problem is that I've had to cut our wedding guest list in half because my fiance wants a small wedding even though I have a large family.  I'm not in the states that often and I would really like to celebrate this time with my friends.  The problem is:  I can't invite all of my friends to the wedding.  <strong>I know everyone says not to invite people to a bridal shower without inviting them to the wedding, BUT what if I include a 'no gift' request?
  </strong>Posted by ahope108[/QUOTE]
  
  No.  It's still rude.

  
  
  "Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
  But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
  
  Way cooler." - anna.oskar

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• Mark&Steph

  

  February 2012

  The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride/couple with gifts, so inviting people and requesting "no gifts" doesn't really make sense.
  
  It's also not generally appropriate to include "no gifts" on invites of any kind.
  
  Can you celebrate with your friends without calling it a "shower" or "bachelorette party"? Go out with friends? Host a party/dinner at your home in the U.S.? Have a BBQ in a park? Those would be more appropriate ways to celebrate, in my opinion.

  

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• specialk84

  

  February 2012

  The purpose of the shower is to "shower' you with gifts.

  
  

  Since you can only invite people who are actually invited to the wedding to the shower, I suggest you get together separately with the friends you'd like to see.

  
  

  Plan a girls' day or something, or meet up for dinner.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2012

  Thanks for the advice, but I'm only going to be home for about 1 weekend in May and about 1 week before the wedding.  Maybe we'll just skip the shower altogether and throw a 'picnic'.  Thanks again!

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• NOLAbridealmost member

  

  February 2012

  Just plan a big get together for all your friends that has nothing to do with the wedding.  I know time can be tight the days before the wedding, but this is a much better idea than inviting friends to a prewedding party and not inviting them to the wedding. 

  
  Fatty Blog

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• ceh789 member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-guest-list-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d5f6248-6ae5-49d5-a205-823a2049b6c8Post:bda58e78-c5dc-4942-9938-0cbd4399dbfb">Re: Shower Guest List Etiquette</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, but I'm only going to be home for about 1 weekend in May and about 1 week before the wedding.  <strong>Maybe we'll just skip the shower altogether and throw a 'picnic'.</strong>  Thanks again!
  Posted by ahope108[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>That is a great idea for many reasons.  You'll get to see everyone you can't fit into the wedding plans and you won't have to transport shower gifts home to Germany.  Call it a welcoming myself home party or something - it's fine to throw yourself a non-wedding related party.  Have fun!</div>

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• chelseamb11 member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-guest-list-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d5f6248-6ae5-49d5-a205-823a2049b6c8Post:bda58e78-c5dc-4942-9938-0cbd4399dbfb">Re: Shower Guest List Etiquette</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, but I'm only going to be home for about 1 weekend in May and about 1 week before the wedding.  Maybe we'll just skip the shower altogether and throw a 'picnic'.  Thanks again!
  Posted by ahope108[/QUOTE]
  
  Just as long as it's not wedding related and involves no wedding/shower gifts, this is a wonderful idea!

   
  
  Teachery Blog
  

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• rebarobert2012

  

  February 2012

  The purpose of a shower is to *shower* the bride and groom with gifts, so it's not really appropriate to request no gifts.  Then, it isn't a shower at all.  Actually, it's not really appropriate to mention gifts at all. 
  
  However, I think that the idea of a picnic instead of a shower is a good idea.  Because if you invited your friends to a shower, they would also need to be invited to the wedding.

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• dori851 member

  

  February 2012

  Ditto PPs. It's still rude, & if I were invited to a shower & was told to not bring a gift, I would still probably bring a gift anyway. I would just plan a get together or girls night out while you're here with the friends you want to see that aren't invited to the wedding.

  

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• dori851 member

  

  February 2012

  Sorry, I didn't see your other post. I think a non-wedding related picnic is a great idea!

  

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