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ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!

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Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!

  • FutureMsAlexanderFutureMsAlexander member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:4e0891b9-a4d2-4185-95fd-9c8a8471c246">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]yeah i answered her post...like i said about the other ones i read like hers IT DID NOT SAY THE SAME AS MINE WHERE IT'S CLOSE FAMILY and would most likely turn out to be a disaster!
    Posted by amh028[/QUOTE]

    Not including children always runs the risk of hurting feelings and turning into "disaster." Reallyyyy think about this situation. Do you really want to explain to her that her family requires special accommodations because she can't control her children? I know you have this picture of her children flailing down the aisle screaming bloody murder before you walk down the aisle. But I just can't imagine this being the case. You run the risk of hurting your sister and brother-in-law's feelings. Is it worth it?
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:91fe74c7-9c92-40a4-a0e6-fd296b33ae93">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok fine. Do you plan to have other children at the wedding, besides the hellion nieces/nephews/demons? If you don't want kids at all, then don't invite any. Be prepared to get some declines because not everyone is comfortable or can afford to leave their kids with a sitter. With this in mind, if you still don't want to invite kids, address invites with ONLY the adults names on them. If they write their kids in on the RSVP, you'll have to call and explain. If it's just your sister's kids you don't want there, have fun explaining that to her. Yes, that is a disastrous situation. To me, kids are an all or nothing deal. You invite everyone's or no one's. It's the fairest way to do it, IMO. So if you want to exclude only your sister's kids, I really can't help you. Are you happy now?
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    But Lauren...this situation is unique!!!!!!!!! It's not the same as the other ones!!!!!!!!
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    Can I have a medal? Or a gold star? Cookie? Something?
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    And OP, come back here and read this perfectly acceptable, sane advice I just gave you.
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  • tlv204tlv204 member
    2500 Comments
    Ok, just to throw in a fresh perspective and an idea that you might not have seen before, here, I think,  are your options for the reception. At least I can't think of anything else:

    1. Invite the kids and deal with it.
    2. Kill the kids.
    3. Either find the money to hire a sitter at the wedding or loan/give them money to get a sitter on their own.
    4. Have the kids kidnapped by professionals, but give them back right after the wedding.
    5. Don't invite the kids, which is perfectly fine, but just accept the fact that the parents might not come and might be really upset with you guys.

    I don't really know how to get it through your head that those are your only options. Like many others have said before. Even if your situation deals with close family members, that doesn't mean a new magical solution will appear for you. You still have to follow the same advice. For the 3240958th time, it's perfectly ok for you to not invite the kids, but you're just going to have to deal with the fact that the parents will be upset and might not come.  I just don't know what else you want us to say, so I guess we'll just keep repeating ourselves until it sinks in.
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:fc6bebf1-b36d-4d12-9316-97c486c3759b">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, just to throw in a fresh perspective and an idea that you might not have seen before, here, I think,  are your options for the reception. At least I can't think of anything else: 1. Invite the kids and deal with it. 2. Kill the kids. 3. Either find the money to hire a sitter at the wedding or loan/give them money to get a sitter on their own. 4. Have the kids kidnapped by professionals, but give them back right after the wedding. 5. Don't invite the kids, which is perfectly fine, but just accept the fact that the parents might not come and might be really upset with you guys. I don't really know how to get it through your head that those are your only options. Like many others have said before. Even if your situation deals with close family members, that doesn't mean a new magical solution will appear for you. You still have to follow the same advice. For the 3240958th time, it's perfectly ok for you to not invite the kids, but you're just going to have to deal with the fact that the parents will be upset and might not come.  I just don't know what else you want us to say, so I guess we'll just keep repeating ourselves until it sinks in.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]
    You deserve a gold star as well. And a cookie for being much funnier than I was :)
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:cf51dfce-005c-4048-bed6-5265658fc802">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]And OP, come back here and read this perfectly acceptable, sane advice I just gave you.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    I really did give her the options that she has, the same options we give everyone. I just didn't elaborate.

    Though I guess for lean-tos you have to really spell everything out.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:4e0891b9-a4d2-4185-95fd-9c8a8471c246">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]yeah i answered her post...like i said about the other ones i read like hers IT DID NOT SAY THE SAME AS MINE WHERE IT'S CLOSE FAMILY and would most likely turn out to be a disaster!
    Posted by amh028[/QUOTE]

    Again, how is the situation ANY different? No kids= no kids, does it not?
    So dense.

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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:fc6bebf1-b36d-4d12-9316-97c486c3759b">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't really know how to get it through your head that those are your only options.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    TLV, c'mon. Get it through your head. Her situation is DIFFERENT.

    Shelly's corpse? Are you with us? I need to borrow your gun. Mkay?
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:228be7a0-511b-4189-8637-6a2259c49608">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE! : I really did give her the options that she has, the same options we give everyone. I just didn't elaborate. Though I guess for lean-tos you have to really spell everything out.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
    Yes, you did. She needs like 12 different people to tell her the same thing, apparently.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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  • tlv204tlv204 member
    2500 Comments
    Yay gold star!
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  • FutureMsAlexanderFutureMsAlexander member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:fc6bebf1-b36d-4d12-9316-97c486c3759b">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE] 4. <strong>Have the kids kidnapped by professionals, but give them back right after the wedding.</strong>Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    This is perfect! Quit wasting your time on TK and post a Craigslist ad!
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    She made my head explode.  I'm sorry did I get my brain slime on you?
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Guys, guys, guys!!! I want to bake chocolate chip cookies without white eggs but all the recipes I see omit brown eggs....what do I do?!

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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Oh, I thought it was a self-inflicted wound.

    I wish my brain would explode.

    Maybe if we all use our will-power at once we can all make our heads explode simultaneously.
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:2c32ce5f-0974-4665-8027-c485c603730c">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Guys, guys, guys!!! I want to bake chocolate chip cookies without white eggs but all the recipes I see omit brown eggs....what do I do?!
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    It's a racist recipe!
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:2c32ce5f-0974-4665-8027-c485c603730c">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Guys, guys, guys!!! I want to bake chocolate chip cookies without white eggs but all the recipes I see omit brown eggs....what do I do?!
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
    I love this analogy. Perfect.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Damnit! I knew YOU would say that!
    But, don't you see my situation is unique?!

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  • lauralaurlauralaur member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    H's cousin and her fiance are getting married in September. The fiance thinks that his nieces and nephews are little hellions and does not want them at the wedding. So, no children are invited to their wedding. Zero. Simple as that. They wanted to exclude specific children, so to be fair they excluded all children. We on the other hand had children on our guest list that we did not want at our wedding, because there were other children that we did want there. It's all or nothing. It's up to you which way you go, but it honestly is that simple.
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:23b88e27-d94b-4276-85a1-d7b7dbf4fa7e">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Damnit! I knew YOU would say that! But, don't you see my situation is unique?!
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    But Roxy, you can't be a racist, even with cookies. That's what etiquette says. :D
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You don't understand! I want no eggs! The recipes don't call for eggs!

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I didn't even consider reading this whole thread - though I have no doubt it's incredibly interesting. But for FUUCK's sake, woman, would you please READ the other threads that have "no kids....waaaahhh! My special day!!!" in the title? Your situation is NOT special. I officially take the most intelligent answer (likely given by Tide or Heels) and times it 328472384767842356.
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  • Krysti21Krysti21
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:5a1cb5bf-2f57-4ab6-844e-16248617bcb2">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>we can't come up with anymore money for anything we're paying for everything ourselves and my fiance doesn't even have a job right now bc he just had shoulder surgery and we have a 6 month old son to care for.</strong> and i don't have any relatives or friends who would be willing to chase the kids throughout a wedding reception...they're that bad..
    Posted by amh028[/QUOTE]


    You say this, and then you say "but I WAAAAAANT my big princess day!!!!!!"

    Grow up and spend the money on important things. Either JOP it or wait until you do have the money to pay for a sitter if you really MUST not have these children there.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:ad759dbc-c508-4fb7-99d3-10f7148c0444">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE! : You say this, and then you say "but I WAAAAAANT my big princess day!!!!!!" Grow up and spend the money on important things. Either JOP it or wait until you do have the money to pay for a sitter if you really MUST not have these children there.
    Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]
    JOP? OH no...she thinks thats just icky.

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  • mocha beansmocha beans member
    2500 Comments
    I read this at work on my phone and was laughing my asss off, so thanks for the entertainment!!
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  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    #1 - lay off the all caps, please.  
    #2 - open your mind to the idea that advice is a tad generic and can be applied to your not-so-super-special situation
    #3 - if you've read the other posts and still don't have an answer say:

    "I read the posts below, but didn't see any way to exclude only my niece and nephew without completely destroying my relationship with my sister.  Her kids are hellions and I can't stand to deal with them on my wedding day!"

    The answer you'd have gotten is "It can't be done".  At which point, you should have just said thanks and revisited the babysitter option.  Might I suggest YOU take on some babysitting jobs between now and the wedding to make enough extra cash to hire a babysitter for the hellions that day?
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I change part of my answer to "what Squirrly said"
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  • Krysti21Krysti21
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-children-ceremony-reception-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d904fc71-fda4-4b53-894c-0a710193320aPost:2c4a03e6-87cb-4e08-8586-b2c94a8eaf9a">Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: ADVICE ON CHILDREN FREE CEREMONY & RECEPTION PLEASE! : JOP? OH no...she thinks thats just icky.
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    Oh that's right. That wouldn't be a "real" wedding.
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