Adult Only Receptions

DoubleAS · January 2012

How do we nicely word "adults only" on our invite. We have to have it approved this evening (nothing like waiting until the last minute).

ChristineL23 · January 2012

I think the response you are going to get on here is its not appropriate to write adults only. Address the invitation to only those that are invited. You can expect that SOMEONE will ask about whether they can bring their child (even if it did say adults only). Be prepared with a response when someone asks.

DoubleAS · January 2012

Good call.. I am specifically thinking of someone on fi's side who already had mentioned how cute it's going to be to see her 1yr old daughter dancing. Errrr. We will be ready. Thank you so much for the advice!

HobokensFury · January 2012

What Christine said. It's not proper to write adults only. Just address it to the parents and if they add their children politely call them up and tell them.

tiffany104 · January 2012

We are having "adult reception to follow" on our invites.

KH 2012 · January 2012

i have seen formal adult reception to follow-never offended me.

we didnt put it on ours-but we are not having flower girl or ring bearer and when peopel ask i say no-we arent havign any kids.

our rsvp cards had on it:

___ seats have been reserved in your honor

and i filled in the number accordingly to not include their kids. goodluck!

Giaspo · January 2012

We didn't have kids at our wedding, including H's 5 year old nephew (he was the only one invited and my SIL opted not to bring him). We sent invites with specific names attached, and most people understood. A few didn't make it because of babysitting issues (even with a STD sent 10 months in advance) but honestly most were able to make it. You will have unhappy guests so make sure your family is on the same page... One of my girlfriends kept insisting her 2 year old was coming, even after we repeatedly said no kids. She even circumvented me and emailed my mom a pic of him with a note that said "can't wait for you to meet our son at the wedding." Luckily my mom knew our plan and didn't extend the invite.

sgdc2011 · January 2012

We addressed the envelopes to the parents only. We had 1 bring their kid, but they were from out of town and we got a babysitter at the hotel for them. The other person who didn't understand (not surprisingly - you know the 1 crazy person in your family) said she was sorry her son couldn't make it, he had camp. Well that's nice because he wasn't invited lol.

Just spread the word kids are not invited, I don't think it needs to be on the invite, but you can if you want to.
We also put black tie optional on ours and that didn't follow etiquette according to the knot. Do what you want.

shoebie · January 2012

We are not writing any thing on the invite, there is a note on our wedding website letting people know. I have mentioned it well in advance to friends with kids everyone has been fine except my cousin who has been raising hell over it insisting her 2 devil children must come (they are oot) and i finally said i hope you find a sitter if not ill be sure to send pictures. Sounds rude but her kids are pretty much the reason we decided on no kids lol

altimat873 · January 2012

We wrote it right on the invite, yes we had a few who couldnt make babysitting accomodations but most people made arrangements. We still had a few who asked but we politely told them it was adults only. I did not have one single person who told us they were offended but actually one person who said they didnt mind bc it stopped them from asking, it was clear. . . not everyone knows invite etiquette about addresses etc and we did not want to write in the "2 seats reserved" on the RSVP in case someone's SO/Husband/Wife couldnt come etc.

rlavach · January 2012

I am not writing 'adults only' on our invites, but I did make the RSVP cards very clear. There is a line stating "There are ___ seats held in your honor" that I fill out. Then I also wrote "____________ __ accepts __ declines" so I can write in their names & all they have to do is check off accept or decline.

Even with that, I'm sure there will be the few who cross out the name & write in another. They'll be getting a call.

plesnial · January 2012

This is such a difficult subject for me because there are only select children I want to be at the wedding and that is the neices and nephews. Other extended family that we don't see often have a tendancy to bring their 3 or 4 kids to every event, and that will NOT be happening so I wil need to make sure that is clear on the inviation.....

USER876 · February 2012

I think it's good to be crystal clear. The last thing you want to do is have to be the "bad guy" and call someone to tell them the bad news after they put down on the RSVP card that the whole family is coming. Or if someone feels they can just bring their 7 month old and hold them so it's no big deal to put htem on the rsvp list. We put "adult reception" on our invite.

Giaspo · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_adult-only-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:d02da9f8-e067-4926-81dc-096847e3e1c0Post:4cea0cb8-9144-4fbc-a5a9-2ac663b1ce7a">Re: Adult Only Receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]This is such a difficult subject for me because there are only select children I want to be at the wedding and that is the neices and nephews. Other extended family that we don't see often have a tendancy to bring their 3 or 4 kids to every event, and that will NOT be happening so I wil need to make sure that is clear on the inviation.....
Posted by plesnial[/QUOTE]

This is exactly where we cut it off too. It made things a little easier because we could actually say that we were keeping the wedding small and only our siblings' kids were invited.

GiGiV2012 · February 2012

I had a similar post last week because my FI's cousin was giving me problems because she couldn't bring her kids. My FI's extended family is rather large so if we did have kids..it would be like 20-30 kids. My ballroom isn't large to begin with, nevermind the added expense.

My problem is that I want everyone to be happy but I have to remember that for that one and only day, I'm the one who deserves to be most happy...and to make me most happy, NO KIDS ALLOWED! LOL

Farynyk · February 2012

Hi everyone!
I'm going to be honest, I have never been to a wedding where children were invited. My niece is going to be 2 years-old for my wedding and of course she is the flower girl, but once the ceremony and pictures are done she is going off with her babysitter. The reason for this is that my sister and brother-in-law want to have a blast at my wedding and not have to worry about looking after the baby or having to ruin someone elses good time (most likely my parents or my brother-in-laws parents) by ask them to look after her. Plus, by 8pm she is will probably start her cranky time because she's going to be tired.

I know some people might have a hard time finding someone to watch their children, but they definitely have an ample amount of time to find one.

Just my two cents! LOL If you want adults only that is fine! You need to make sure you are happy on YOUR day, don't worry about anyone else!

DoubleAS · February 2012

Thanks for the responses.. We actually wound up choosing to leave it off the invite. My family and friends already know, no children allowed, and they are happy about that since they get to let loose without chasing their kids. We are just concerned with fi's out of state cousin but my FMIL promised me that she would let her & her husband know the deal this week.

This is the main reason that we opted for no flower girl or ring bearer. As always, I appreciate everyones input

DeDeSwe · February 2012

DoubleAS - great post

Girls - great replies, I didn't realize that so many people will try to bring their kids even if their names are not on the invites.

I DESPISE having children at weddings. There will be no kids except for his neice and my nephew at our wedding.

I have been to a very formal wedding where they allowed kids to be there. It is terrible.

A. when you are dancing, you have to worry about stepping on a 2 year old

B. Alcohol and Children do not mix

C. The waiters and waitresses are so inconvenienced because they have to walk around strollers every two seconds

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