Snarky Brides

Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!

So since we aren't making a ton of money right now and we each make a similar income, FI and I have decided to combine our bank accounts into one joint account so that it is easier to pay bills without the hassel of "I pay this half, you pay this".  However, recently we've been having problems keeping track of our balance, in terms of communicating the small daily expenses (buying lunch, coffee on the way to work- that sort of thing), especially since it's not like we write checks anymore and carry around a checkbook to balance.   We do check our balance online regularly but it's not always up to date depending on how long it takes things to post. So I know what I'll have spent, and he knows what he has spent (though he is less financially responsible than I am, so often he doesn't have a completely accurate idea of his spending) but then when I go to pay bills I'm not sure exactly how much is left.  As a solution, I've gone through our budget and after expenses for bills, grocheries, transportation, etc., I've come up with a sort of spending limit, or  weekly allowance I guess for each of us that will still leave some left over to put into savings or for other expenses that might come up.  We can  each use our allowance how ever we want and don't have to worry about trying to keep track of eachother's spending in that sense.  Then I figured we could just have an agreement to discuss any purchases outside of that allowance before making them. We've already agreed that we no longer consider it his money or my money, but OUR money.  I also was wondering if we should just take our weekly limit out in cash so that its easy to keep track of, or just have two separate accounts of our own to keep it in that we will each be responsible for. 

Does this sound reasonable to you ladies who have been sharing finances for awhile?  The idea of an allowance initially struck me as not very grown up, but logically it makes sense to me.  How do you all manage combined finances? 
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Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!

  • edited October 2012
    We dont, he pays his bills, I pay mine. But thats a different story.

    In your case I think if you both make the same amount of money, you should each just put in your share to pay the household bills. Figure out how much goes out each month and you both cover. Than you can use you leftover money for whatever you need daily, coffee, lunch, etc....without having to worry about messing up the bills. Groceries can be averaged out per week.

    ETA: If you DONT make the same amount, take an average of each other pay and who shoud be paying what.
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  • edited October 2012
    I think what makes our situation complicated is that we aren't making a lot of money.  So $5 here and $10 there really adds up quickly to a significant chunk of our budget.  We literally need to account for every dollar.  I try to check our balance online regularly, but like I said, it isn't always accurate, so that the money he spent on lunch  and ciggs yesterday that hasn't shown up yet today and I don't know to account for it, will make the difference between us having some padding or approaching dangerously close to zero in the bank.  We are pretty good about not making unnecessary expenditures but when our budget is this tight every little bit counts.  
  • Also, side note, neither of us are on salary so pay day is weekly for me, bi-weekly for him, and the amounts tend to fluctuate from check to check.  We literally have to pay bills as the come and based on who has gotten paid the most recently.  It just makes more sense for us to pay out of one account. This is already decided, what I need is advice for those who are doing it this way. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:a6505029-2161-4297-a716-5ab7e6ce3983">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think what makes our situation complicated is that we aren't making a lot of money.  So $5 here and $10 there really adds up quickly to a significant chunk of our budget.  We literally need to account for every dollar.  I try to check our balance online regularly, but like I said, it isn't always accurate, so that the money he spent on lunch  and ciggs yesterday that hasn't shown up yet today and I don't know to account for it, will make the difference between us having some padding or approaching dangerously close to zero in the bank.  We are pretty good about not unnecessary expenditures but when our budget is this tight every little bit counts.  
    Posted by cbbgtownlovers[/QUOTE]

    Than you either have to have your own "spending" money (and once it's gone, its gone) or you are just going to have to make a cap on what can be spent.

    Ex: You've paid the bill this week and you only have X amount of money left over. Split it down the middle for incidentals. If you know he needs his lunch and cigs, can you budget for that as well?

    And if you are on a tight budget, is it possible to make your lunches at home to save some money?
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  • You're both right about cutting down on excessive things, but we've got that down pretty well.  We live pretty cheaply-  no cable, no car (we bike), very cheap studio apartment.  As far as lunches, I generally make mine at home but given that FI is a chef, he really enjoys being able to have someone else make his food for him before working a 10 hour shift (I leave for work long before he even wakes up and don't always have time to prepare a lunch for him or I would)  I don't want to take that pleasure away from him if we can afford it, which we can so long as we are very careful about it.  It's just the being careful about it part that is problematic.  I think if he knew each week how much he had to spend on that sort of thing, rather than telling me after the fact how much he has spent and me going "omg you spent how much on lunch?" it would be better.  LIke you said kd, I think a once it's gone it's gone approach will be easier for us. 
  • We have yours, mine and ours. One account we put in money for the bills and household expenses, plus wedding stuff, vacation, etc. Then we each have our own for personal stuff, eating out, gas money,etc. That way bills get paid, and we aren't tempted to spend "our" money on personal things. Of course, sometimes he spends all of his money and I have some left and I'll give him some fun money, or vice versa.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:e7e77e2f-faa6-4794-8fe4-0be0d31c56a5">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have yours, mine and ours. One account we put in money for the bills and household expenses, plus wedding stuff, vacation, etc. Then we each have our own for personal stuff, eating out, gas money,etc. That way bills get paid, and we aren't tempted to spend "our" money on personal things. Of course, sometimes he spends all of his money and I have some left and I'll give him some fun money, or vice versa.
    Posted by coopsbaby[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was suggesting. This way your bills are paid but neither feels deprived.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:84e939e5-9891-462f-91ed-8c016e6cb415">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Does he buy high quality foods?  My H isn't a chef per se, but he's a great cook and is picky about ingredients.  Maybe FI could make less expensive foods for awhile?
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

    Haha, one of his mainstay demands that goes on our shopping list is generic brand spaghetti-o, so that's not really a problem.  He is actually very good at using crap for product and turning it into an excellent meal.  However, he rarely cooks at home, since thats what he does all day.  We've actually been living off some pretty cheap/crappy food for awhile and have decided to increase our grocery budget because we're tired of eating garbage and I want us to be more healthful in our eating at home.  We have a good farmer's market where we can get relatively cheaper veggies and things though so that helps.  I also have started clipping coupons for grocery store stuff.  I do inted on still doing things cheap where I can withoug sacrificing nutritional quality, like buying beans and grains dry. Also I think if we have better food to eat at home we will be less inclined to eat out which should help us financially.  But yeah, I get what you're saying.  We aren't out buying $20 dollar cheeses and things...though he certainly would if we had that kind of money.  Oh my sweet jesus we would be eating amazing things if we were rich...ahhh, wishful thinking. 
  • When I came into our marriage I had a lot of debt from my divorce. My H put me on a budget and I have been slowly but surely paying off stuff, and its great let me tell ya.

    But he always makes sure that I had wiggle room, because as he says as great as it is to pay off debt, its no fun if you cant buy something every once in awhile. That being said when the time comes and I pay everything off, we'll combine so we can put my money to work.

    Try not to deprive yourselves.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:0bea25ab-c3be-4402-a6c5-a97070daf439">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please! : This is exactly what I was suggesting. This way your bills are paid but neither feels deprived.
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, you're right, I get what you're saying, it's more the logistics on how to actually make it happen that I need help with.  Especially since he is worse about keep track of his spending than I am.  I feel like I can give him a number like "hey, you can't spend more than $30 this week on random stuff" but then he ends up accidentally spending $35.  If he just had cash, or his own account then if he screws up, it won't affect our finances.  It probably would be easiest just to have a his, hers, and ours like coops suggests.  And if it came down to it I wouldn't really have a problem if we needed to give eachother "fun money" from time to time.  Just so everything is accounted for and we aren't pulling out of what should go towards bills and savings. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:04167670-e6ec-4c53-a516-09afdcbdeb9a">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well it sounds like you're doing all the right things.  Maybe one or both of you could get a part time job? 
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

    I have a part time job on top of my full time one, and he works 60 hour weeks (unfortunately his current restaurant carries a small enough staff that they don't have to pay overtime, which is a bummer).  What we really need is to have lower bills, but that's not going to happen.  Our main income suck right now is our student loans and some medical bills from when he didn't have health insurance.  If we didn't have those our income wouldn't seem so bad.  At this point I wish I hadn't gone to an expensive private liberal arts school.  While I got a great education, in hindsight, it's really stupid to put myself in so much debt for something that obviously hasn't guaranteed  me with a great paying job. 
  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:39766fdd-d2f3-4b53-ad1c-e2005e68c57d">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I came into our marriage I had a lot of debt from my divorce. My H put me on a budget and I have been slowly but surely paying off stuff, and its great let me tell ya. But he always makes sure that I had wiggle room, because as he says as great as it is to pay off debt, its no fun if you cant buy something every once in awhile. That being said when the time comes and I pay everything off, we'll combine so we can put my money to work. Try not to deprive yourselves.
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTEY

    Yeah, that's basically what is going on with us, only we both are coming in with a lot of debt.  I totally agree with your husband's view on leaving some wiggle room.  For us, our main expenditure on ourselves is being able to go out to eat together occasionally  and after work drinks from time to time.  That's something I want us to be able to do even if it means cutting back from somewhere else.  Being a chef, going out and eating a great meal somewhere is totally worth the expense for him from time to time.  And honestly, even though it may mean we put less in savings that month, it is so good for our stress levels and as a nice way to spend time together, it's worth it.  But yeah, it's all about being responsible and knowing how much can be spent where.  I think you and your husbands approach is great for when one partner has significant debt.  I love that he still wanted you to be able to spend your money on YOU as well as pay off debt.

    (edit for spelling)
  • Yeah it sucks you have so much debt in the start of you lives. Is there a way you can maybe see a financial planner?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:86bf7d4f-ba80-447f-b761-d0460e2c1dae">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please! : Try not to regret it too much.  I'm sure a lot of people thought they would be able to get a great job and be able to pay back loans. Like I said, I think you seem to be doing a good job.  Maybe he could ask for a raise or look for another chef job that pays a little more? Or maybe you could?
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, it seems like everyone I know that is my age is in the same boat.  The good news is that he started a new job about a month ago, and this particular restaurant is one of 4 (soon to be 5) restaurants ran by the head chef, and he is really good at promoting his cooks from within and moving them to the different restaurants based on where he needs more upper management.  He also tends to move people to salary if they stay for a certain amount of time regardless of whether they are promoted, which is rare in the restaurant business.  So hopefully within the year he will get promoted but at the very least should be making salary, so then we will be doing better.  I also was just given a raise in September, which I am using to pay off some of my own debt.  My college credit card, while not a huge drain on our income, is annoying bill everymonth, but with the raise I can have it taken care of in a couple more months and then that will be one less thing.
  • Just to add my two cents and two thoughts:

    Do not regret spending money on education. That is your most important investment and worth every penny.

    My husband and I have always had an "allowance" for each of us to choose how we spend. It has worked well as we can still make choices and have some freedom.  You and FI may need to reduce both allowances so that the splurge, feel good, non-depriving moments are less frequent each week. Enjoy each other: that's free!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:49fabe33-3db1-4120-8060-018bb763bf46">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah it sucks you have so much debt in the start of you lives. Is there a way you can maybe see a financial planner?
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    I'd actually thought about that, but I have no idea how much it would cost to do so or if the cost now would be worth it, especially since our incomes aren't entirely predictable?  I figure we can give it a try working with the new budget we have now, but then if it seems problematic in any way then maybe go see a professional. This is really the first reall attempt we are making at approaching our finances and having THE money talk.  Up till now we were just winging it and it was really not working.  We ended up paying bills late far too often, when we really shouldn't have been, we aren't that badly off. When FI gets off work tonight though we plan to sit down and have a discussion about it.  I just wanted to have a good plan to present to him and see his thoughts on it. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:9b33fd09-08b1-4c46-a1bb-eef4113a5934">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just to add my two cents and two thoughts: Do not regret spending money on education. That is your most important investment and worth every penny. My husband and I have always had an "allowance" for each of us to choose how we spend. It has worked well as we can still make choices and have some freedom.  You and FI may need to reduce both allowances so that the splurge, feel good, non-depriving moments are less frequent each week. Enjoy each other: that's free!
    Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

    You're right. I wouldn't trade my college experience for anything, and I can't imagine having gone anywhere else than the school I chose, but I do wish it were paying out more now.  I probably should have just picked a more useful major though...or at least useful in terms of actually wanting to pursue the jobs that are plentiful in it. 

    Thanks, I'm glad to see that this idea of an allowance isn't unheard of. 
  • You might just invest in something like Quicken. It syncs to your bank account and you cant keep track of where your finances go, but yes you really need to have the discussion and have a plan you agree on.
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  • amalamaamalama member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited October 2012
    I have an Excel spreadsheet that I keep track of our budget in. Our situation used to be similar to what yours sounds like (tight budget and hourly work so income varied month to month), and I have been using this system since then. The spreadsheet lists all of our monthly expenses in one section, then I have another section for things that vary (presents, books for school, oil changes, special occasions we know we will want to have a nice night out for, etc) so that I can try to plan for those things ahead of time. Then from what's leftover we put what we can in savings and then take our "spending money" out in cash at the beginning of the month (when our income was not set we would take spending cash out when I knew we had it). It really helps us because my FI would seriously spend hundreds of dollars a month stopping by the store or getting fast food on his way home. This way he can see exactly what he has and when it's gone it's gone.
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  • My FI knows how terrible I am with money, but with his budgeting and encouragement I cut down my spending from ~2000+ a month to ~1300.  Still trying to get it down.  Keep up the hard work on finding what works for you both!  It's stressful but so worth it to be on the same page about finances.
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:f9e2da3b-64d6-4fc8-a7ce-831e876ede64">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with KD, accounting software might help you two out. Or you can try to keep track of your expenses with a simple excel spreadsheet. This might help know where you really stand financially, outside of looking at your bank balance online. Do you think it's reasonable for both of you to keep receipts for purchases you make? If so, then you can reconcile your accounts on your own, and don't have to worry about delays in your banking account balance(s). Also I think either dispersing cash for each of your allowances or keeping separate accounts for individual 'fun' money makes sense for you two. Then you can budget your joint expenses better without feefling like there are so many unknown costs to account for. It sounds like you both have a really good idea of what your budget is, I think you just need a quick conversation about how to administer it.
    Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE

    Good call on finance programs.  I use excel but I hadn't thought about investing into some finance specific software, that would probably be helpful since I'm really horrible with excel.  I had no idea it automatically syncs with your bank account either, that would be really great.

    It's funny you mention keeping receipts.  We tried that last month and it failed utterly.  I put together a nice box next to our key hook for us to each dump our receipts in at the end of the day.  I did pretty well at it though I didn't manage to keep all my receipts, FI though..what a mess.  He serioiusly dropped in a crumpled wad of receipts that looked like it had been through the washer (apparently he did some walking in the rain that day)  about 5 that had no tip or total written down so he had to try to remember the tips or guess, one business card for a fish monger (wtf?),  a recipe written on a napkin, and what looked like a haiku written on a coaster, along with a scribbled dollar amount.  I assumed that was what he spent at that particular bar.  Then, after verifying with the online statement, I found there were still a few receipts that never made it to the box.  FI totally failed at the receipt box, with flying colors.  He says he can try harder, but knowing him I doubt it will ever be something that becomes second nature for him. I don't want to nag at him about receipts.  It was pretty funny though when I pulled out his "receipts".  I couldn't help but laugh while he looked on sheepishly.
  • Yep, you can $5 and $10 yourselves to death.  I quit smoking 14 years ago so I don't much notice the price of cigs, but I did the other day.  In suburban Chicago, a pack can be anywhere from $5 to $6/pack.  That's a good chunk of change every week if one is a pack a day smoker.  Then top that off with stopping to pick up a quick lunch, snack or whatever and you're spending ~ $50-60 a week on non-essentials.

    H and I have not combined finances.  He's the Master of the Spreadsheet and my stuff is paid through an accountant who keeps me and my credit score on the straight and narrow.  I was perilously close to bankruptcy after my divorce due to my overspending and (at the time) money sucking adult son when I met H.  The more you have, the more you spend and the less you think about what things cost - that's how it was for me.

    You can probably look into reputable credit counselors.  But do your homework on them first.  A Chicagoan, Terry Savage, has an excellent website and she does recommend certain credit counseling companies.

    Good luck!
  • edited October 2012
    Thanks for the help ladies.  FI and I talked yesterday and we came up with a good plan for us.  He completley agreed with me that we need to keep stricter tabs on where every dollar is going and liked the idea of just having cash to spend on the little daily extras, for him it will be better just to have cash in hand and know that when it's gone it's gone.  He actually even suggested a smaller weekly allowance for us, so that we can save a little more so I'm glad about that.  AND we found that we still have enough to go out to a nice dinner and a movie/concert or whatever once a month.

    I'm so happy that this is something he and I can discuss and agree so easily.  I can see how finances can become a big point of contention in a marriage and I really hope that us dealing with it well now means it won't be a problem in the future.

    edit for typos
  • Off to a good start :)
  • Have you considered talking to someone about consolidating your loans?  Have you talked to your lender about making income based payments instead of the payments that were set before you even graduated?  Have you talked to your hospital about reducing your medical bills? 

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  • I have been using Quicken to keep track of our bank acounts for years.  I find it a great tool for keeping the balances straight.  I'm pretty good at keeping receipts and 9 times out of 10 H remembers to either keep them, or he snaps a photo with his phone and e-mails it to me.  it's still what you put in it, though it does sync with your bank accounts but it can't tell you about the $150 check that hasn't cleared yet, or the $75 transaction at the gas station that hasn't hit the account yet, so you still need to keep track of what you're spending.  When we were really watching our budget, we found it most helpful to take our WAM (walk around money - ie: fun money) out in cash every week.  I also took out the budgeted grocery money in cash, and if we had extra in that envelope we'd treat ourselves to dinner out or something with it.  Post-wedding we're not keeping as close an eye on it as we used to so we mostly use our credit card for everything to earn the points, but we've talked a few times about going back to the cash system as we both feel like we're $5-$10 dollar'ing ourselves to death.  We're still paying the card off every month so it's not that out of control, but we're not saving as much as we'd like to every month.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_combining-finances-thoughts-advice-suggestions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a3239fb-e3d6-4ba3-8fec-1f1bb7d8351dPost:a6505029-2161-4297-a716-5ab7e6ce3983">Re: Combining finances- thoughts, advice, suggestions please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think what makes our situation complicated is that we aren't making a lot of money.  So $5 here and $10 there really adds up quickly to a significant chunk of our budget.  We literally need to account for every dollar.  I try to check our balance online regularly, but like I said, it isn't always accurate, so that the money he spent on lunch  and ciggs yesterday that hasn't shown up yet today and I don't know to account for it, will make the difference between us having some padding or approaching dangerously close to zero in the bank.  We are pretty good about not making unnecessary expenditures but when our budget is this tight every little bit counts.  
    Posted by cbbgtownlovers[/QUOTE]

    <div>Instead of having your "allowance" I would work to build up a buffer in your bill paying accounts for a couple of months so you don't have to worry about literally every dollar that comes out. I also would have a very specific account for paying bills only so that one debit swipe doesn't accidentally overdraft your account.</div><div>
    </div><div>DH and I have joint and individual accounts - we have a single account that is meant for paying bills. Nothing but bills comes out of the account so when I write a check or pay a bill online I know exactly what is coming out and how much buffer I have. I try to always have at least $200-$300 more in my bill account just in case.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you're living paycheck to paycheck I would think that a savings account should actually be your first priority over having some extra "fun cash" - what if an emergency were to happen? You need to have cash reserves for lifes uncertainties.</div>
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  • There is also a free online tracker- www.mint.com. It's VERY simialar to quicken, just a little more basic. FI and I use Quicken and Excel(he's a budgeter). We also have two seperate accounts and a joint account. All the money goes into the joint and we seperate as needed.
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  • I agree with a lot of the PP's. Call on your studnet loans and request lower payments or a deferement or forebearance. They really try to work with you on them. Also call on the medical bills and see if you can consolidate or offer some kind of settlement to get them cleared up faster.

    I would try the allowance thing. I know it sounds demeaning but maybe use a different word. But if you give each other a certain amount every pay period then when it's gone it's gone may help a lot. Can you give up the Starbucks for coffee at home? And then maybe allow 1 or 2 starbucks a week? It really adds up when you pay $4 per cup. You can make almost anything at home now.

    Try to prioritize your "extra" spending. You mention his vices, caffeine, lunch and ciggs. So maybe if he has to choose one over the other he can start to do this. It worked for my ex husband so it might work for your DH.

    HOPE THIS HELPS :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We do ours, his, and mine as well. It cuts out a lot of the little "you spent HOW much on a dress" or "you spent WHAT on a round of golf?" arguments. 

    We merged finances a few months into my pregnancy, while we were both making the same amount of money at the same job where we met. In addition to our joint account and our allowance accounts, we have an education fund (we want to send our daughter to a private school), a wedding fund, and an emergency fund. We used to have a date/fun fund, but that was too much to keep track of and we merged it into the joint account. 

    Fast forward to now and FI is an advertising manager and makes salary + bonus, so his paychecks are set and we bank any bonus money. I'm a freelance writer so I work from home and stay home with our daughter...even though she's currently in full time daycare so I stay at home and watch CSI all day. I take occasional shifts in a baby boutique as well. He makes 90% of our household income and anything I make goes into either wedding or education savings. That was a struggle for us, but we adjusted. 

    I think cash is a great way not to overspend your "allowance money" if you don't want to set up multiple bank accounts. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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