Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home

MyNameIsNot · April 2012

I think I would just move the party outside.

Most of my friends and family would show up in flip flops or wedges if they expected an outdoor party.

specialk84 · April 2012

I just want to keep my shoes. I think it's kind of stupid to ask friends and family of your friend to do this. I'd feel pretty crappy if someone made my friends uncomfortable when they were there for me.

My shower hostess generally has a no-shoe house. However, she knows I have foot problems, so she has never hassled me. At the shower, she never asked anyone to take off their shoes.

If you can't deal with people walking on your floors, don't host the party there.

LDYGTR13 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:59baee17-ac70-44e6-b693-49f76b6c7864">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Quite frankly, if you're not comfortable having people walk on your floors, perhaps you shouldn't be hosting a party in your home. I would not be pleased if I had to remove my shoes at a party. I don't know what is on your floors or on everyone else's feet, for that matter. Ew. I would be so skeeved. And irritated. And tripping over my pants because my clothing is tailored to fit with my shoes.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
This is my thought. And Rachers. I'm so confused by this whole thing. <div>
</div><div>Your floors are there to be walked on, are they not? When people walk, they often wear shoes. I wouldn't like being told I had to take my shoes off. For some people, their shoes might "make" their entire outfit too. I just wouldn't be thrilled.</div>

QueerFemme · April 2012

I think the only thing you can do, is go to Target and buy a whole bunch of rugs and runners. But a runner in every main walkway, hallway, and an area rug in the common areas. Cover as much floor as you can with throw rugs.

I would not take off my shoes at someone's house. The only time I've done that, is when a good friend had a very sick parent who was allergic to everything and had a very low immune system, so they asked us to leave coats and shoes in the entry way. I don't want to walk around someone's house in a cute dress or outfit and have to put on slippers.

If you are that worried about your floors, maybe you should consider doing a daytime event in your backyard, or something like that.

littleluckypenny · April 2012

Honestly, if I was told I would have to take my shoes off at someone's home for a party I would seriously consider declining the invitation, especially if it was hosted by a non-family member/someone I never met before.

J&K10910 · April 2012

I am so glad I'm not the only one that doens't understand why you would host parties to which people might wear heels if you're that concerned about your floors.

I think it's rude when people ask me to take my shoes off unless we're pretty close. I'll do it, but I won't be happy about it. I think you should find a new place to host the shower.

DelBride2012 · April 2012

I grew up in a strict no-shoe house. There was a branch of the family that refused to visit us because of it. I think both sides can be painted as disrespectful: if you're a guest in someone's home, and they have a not totally unheard of preference for shoes in their home, you shouldn't be a brat about it. On the other hand, is it really worth it to alienate people because of your preference?

I prefer that people take off their shoes in the foyer of my home, and we always do. I think it's nasty to track in all the city grit and grossness from the sidewalk into my carpets and flooring. After all, I walk around my house barefoot, and I know what's out on the sidewalks around my building: frat boy vomit, homeless people pee, spit, used gum, animal excrement... It's pretty nasty in downtown Chicago.

Still, I am not going to be a jerk about it. At the same time, because it "makes your outfit"? Because you just don't feel like wearing slippers or going barefoot? Come on. Be respectful of other people's homes.

J&K10910 · April 2012

I also think there's a huge difference between asking family to remove their shoes and strangers. I'd never dream of asking strangers to take off their shoes in my home.

Urchin9 · April 2012

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I am shocked at how many of you would be put off if you were asked to remove your shoes IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME.

I think it's very disrespectful to keep your shoes on in somone else's house. It's dirty and brings toxins, dirt and yuckiness into the house..

But like I said, maybe that's cultural? It's the norm here to remove shoes at the door.

specialk84 · April 2012

As long as people are not destroying your house and being assholes, you, as a host, should do whatever you can to make your guests comfortable.

LDYGTR13 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:7a315d9e-0590-40c6-84c9-1c1545c4a383">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]I grew up in a strict no-shoe house. There was a branch of the family that refused to visit us because of it. I think both sides can be painted as disrespectful: if you're a guest in someone's home, and they have a not totally unheard of preference for shoes in their home, you shouldn't be a brat about it. On the other hand, is it really worth it to alienate people because of your preference? I prefer that people take off their shoes in the foyer of my home, and we always do. I think it's nasty to track in all the city grit and grossness from the sidewalk into my carpets and flooring. After all, I walk around my house barefoot, and I know what's out on the sidewalks around my building: frat boy vomit, homeless people pee, spit, used gum, animal excrement... It's pretty nasty in downtown Chicago. Still, I am not going to be a jerk about it. At the same time, because it "makes your outfit"? Because you just don't feel like wearing slippers or going barefoot? <strong>Come on. Be respectful of other people's homes. </strong>
Posted by DelBride2012[/QUOTE]
If you're the type to be worried about such things like what's getting onto your floors and not understanding that, in general, there will be a big clean-up after a party where you could get "city grit and grossness" up before you go back to your day to day life, I dont think you should have a party in your house.

The Mel and Todd Show · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:7a315d9e-0590-40c6-84c9-1c1545c4a383">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]I grew up in a strict no-shoe house. There was a branch of the family that refused to visit us because of it. I think both sides can be painted as disrespectful: if you're a guest in someone's home, and they have a not totally unheard of preference for shoes in their home, you shouldn't be a brat about it. On the other hand, is it really worth it to alienate people because of your preference? I prefer that people take off their shoes in the foyer of my home, and we always do. I think it's nasty to track in all the city grit and grossness from the sidewalk into my carpets and flooring. After all, I walk around my house barefoot, and I know what's out on the sidewalks around my building: frat boy vomit, homeless people pee, spit, used gum, animal excrement... It's pretty nasty in downtown Chicago. Still, I am not going to be a jerk about it. At the same time, because it "makes your outfit"? Because you just don't feel like wearing slippers or going barefoot? Come on. Be respectful of other people's homes.
Posted by DelBride2012[/QUOTE]

It is not the duty of the guest to make the host feel comfortable. It is the duty of the host to make the guests feel comfortable. Removing shoes is clearly something that not everyone is comfortable with. As a host, you have to decide if the comfort of your guests is your priority, or your floors are. And if it's the floors, then you need a new venue.

LeiselEB · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:59baee17-ac70-44e6-b693-49f76b6c7864">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Quite frankly, if you're not comfortable having people walk on your floors, perhaps you shouldn't be hosting a party in your home. I would not be pleased if I had to remove my shoes at a party. I don't know what is on your floors or on everyone else's feet, for that matter. Ew. I would be so skeeved. And irritated. And tripping over my pants because my clothing is tailored to fit with my shoes.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with this. I would be very annoyed to show up to a party and not be allowed to wear shoes.</div><div>
</div><div>I understand wanting to protect your floors, but this seems a bit much. If you don't want people walking on your floors maybe you should see about moving the party elsewhere?

</div>

specialk84 · April 2012

I'm going to have to clean my floors after a party anyway. Drinks get spilled, food gets dropped, etc. If I'm going to clean them anyway, it doesn't matter if someone tracked sidewalk dirt in with them.

You do not have to have your whole house accessible. Limit people to the common areas, and you won't have to worry about cooties getting tracked into your bedroom.

LDYGTR13 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:14e3ba80-a720-458f-9173-8597c5e5b1f5">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]As long as people are not destroying your house and being assholes, you, as a host, should do whatever you can to make your guests comfortable.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
Yes. This.<div>
</div><div>And while it might be "cultural" - I can't imagine going to a nice shower where I'm in a dress and having to walk around barefoot because the host is kinda cray cray about her floors. That would make me ask why the host thought it was a good idea to hold a party if she's so paranoid about them.</div>

J&K10910 · April 2012

Toxins? Where are you people walking that there are TOXINS on your shoes? I mean, come on. That's a little dramatic. No one is dying from people wearing shoes in the house.

The Mel and Todd Show · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:8255143f-5ade-4762-9d7d-2a850bef716a">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I am shocked at how many of you would be put off if you were asked to remove your shoes IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME. I think it's very disrespectful to keep your shoes on in somone else's house. It's dirty and brings toxins, dirt and yuckiness into the house.. But like I said, maybe that's cultural? It's the norm here to remove shoes at the door.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]

Is this the part where we're supposed to ask you where you're from?

It is not the norm here to remove shoes at the door. It is the norm for a host to anticipate cleaning up after a party and removing any toxins and homeless person excrement from the floor.

Urchin9 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:7fe4adab-94b3-4818-a4fa-df77b6fd6d66">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Toxins? Where are you people walking that there are TOXINS on your shoes? I mean, come on. That's a little dramatic. No one is dying from people wearing shoes in the house.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Actually, there are numerous studies showing that the pollution you bring in off your shoes is quite harmful to your health.

Bec20 · April 2012

I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal, BUT I have yet to meet somebody here who wears shoes in their own home if they don't have foot problems. By this, I even mean at dorm rooms in college or at Christmas parties... you take your shoes off when you go in if they were worn outside, unless the host/hostess flat-out tells you to keep them on.

Urchin9 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:d2c32ab8-b5ce-4636-99df-b21b787900bc">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal, BUT I have yet to meet somebody here who wears shoes in their own home if they don't have foot problems. By this, I even mean at dorm rooms in college or at Christmas parties... you take your shoes off when you go in if they were worn outside, unless the host/hostess flat-out tells you to keep them on.
Posted by Bec20[/QUOTE]

That's how it is here too... but I guess we're the odd ducks in this situation. lol

LeiselEB · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:8255143f-5ade-4762-9d7d-2a850bef716a">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I am shocked at how many of you would be put off if you were asked to remove your shoes IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME. I think it's very disrespectful to keep your shoes on in somone else's house. It's dirty and brings toxins, dirt and yuckiness into the house.. But like I said, maybe that's cultural? It's the norm here to remove shoes at the door.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Feet can be just as dirty as shoes. But to each his own with the no shoes thing.</div><div>
</div><div>There's a difference between asking your good friends to remove their shoes when they come over to watch a movie and asking a bunch of bridal shower guests (potentially strangers) to take their shoes off. It's just odd. I'd HATE gettin dressed up, then having to remove part of my outfit. I'd feel so uncomfortable in a dress that needs heels...without heels. The hostess should make guests feel comfortable above protecting floors (which are meant to be walked on).</div>

LDYGTR13 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:b06c7c5d-9aba-481c-928f-07d4be90b00f">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home : Actually, there are numerous studies showing that the pollution you bring in off your shoes is quite harmful to your health.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]
<img id="il_fi" style="padding-right:8px;padding-top:8px;padding-bottom:8px;" src="http://cdn.videogum.com/files/2012/02/shocked.gif" alt="" width="274" height="219" />

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:b06c7c5d-9aba-481c-928f-07d4be90b00f">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home : Actually, there are numerous studies showing that the pollution you bring in off your shoes is quite harmful to your health.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]

Please, by all means, educate me then. I'd love to see these articles.

Do you eat off your floors too? I mean, if you're tracking in pollutants on your shoes, I'm pretty sure it's also coming in your open windows, and when you open the doors, and on your clothes, and in your hair, etc. So....unless your'e going to strip naked at the door and shower before you come in, and never open your windows, I fail to see how removing your shoes will make that much of a difference.

Urchin9 · April 2012

I'm not even going to begin to fight with you guys about this. I just posted my reaction and how it is in my part of the world. I don't expect any of you to even consider it, since you all are the etiquette masters here. That is all.

seesawgirl · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:8255143f-5ade-4762-9d7d-2a850bef716a">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I am shocked at how many of you would be put off if you were asked to remove your shoes IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME. I think it's very disrespectful to keep your shoes on in somone else's house. It's dirty and brings toxins, dirt and yuckiness into the house.. But like I said, maybe that's cultural? It's the norm here to remove shoes at the door.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]

THIS!!! I have more friends that don't allow shoes in their homes, than people that are okay with it.

OP, growing up, my grandmother had a sign on her door that said "Please be sweet, bare your feet!" And a shoe rack directly to the left of the door. Is it possible to do something like that, and then have the basket of slippers nearby?

ETA- She wasn't a germaphobe, we just lived in central oklahoma, where the "dirt" was actually red clay. She lived in an apartment community that, for some reason, decided to instal white carpeting, and not put down sod, so if anyone wore shoes indoors, it tracked in red clay, which is impossible to get out. We all understood.

The Mel and Todd Show · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:2ffbef2b-87cc-4c88-bb9e-75f543238c39">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not even going to begin to fight with you guys about this. I just posted my reaction and how it is in my part of the world. I don't expect any of you to even consider it, since you all are the etiquette masters here. That is all.
Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]

The OP is in Atlanta. This is not how it is in her part of the world. In her part of the world, it is in extremely poor taste to require guests at a party to remove an article of clothing in order to gain entry.

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:60da0ef0-30e8-4125-913b-473f387c3ec1">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home : I think you're taking the discussion a little too personally.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Easy to do when you're wrong.

lyndausvi · April 2012

Oh gezz. I live 2 blocks from Bourbon street. There are few streets in the world as bad has Bourbon Street. I take off my shoes and wipe down the dog when come home.

When I have guests I just clean the floors after they leave. NBD.

Having Bourbon street toxins on the floor everyday would be a problem. Having a party in which you clean afterwards anyway should not.

Cortney1982 · April 2012

I never go barefoot. I rarely even wear just socks in my house. I like my feet to be comfy with slippers under them. Now if I'm in somebody's house I don't know, I'd have a BIG problem taking off my shoes. I don't know how clean their floors are and who's been walking on them barefoot. I've seen and smelled some nasty ass feet in my life and don't want my feet stepping where those feet have recently stepped for health reasons.

amys325 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hosting-bridal-shower-no-shoe-policy-at-my-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80667e74-77d0-4240-9dad-b48591cce94cPost:7a315d9e-0590-40c6-84c9-1c1545c4a383">Re: Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home</a>:
[QUOTE]I grew up in a strict no-shoe house. There was a branch of the family that refused to visit us because of it. I think both sides can be painted as disrespectful: if you're a guest in someone's home, and they have a not totally unheard of preference for shoes in their home, you shouldn't be a brat about it. On the other hand, is it really worth it to alienate people because of your preference? I prefer that people take off their shoes in the foyer of my home, and we always do. I think it's nasty to track in all the city grit and grossness from the sidewalk into my carpets and flooring. After all, I walk around my house barefoot, and I know what's out on the sidewalks around my building: frat boy vomit, homeless people pee, spit, used gum, animal excrement... It's pretty nasty in downtown Chicago. Still, I am not going to be a jerk about it. At the same time, because it "makes your outfit"? Because you just don't feel like wearing slippers or going barefoot? Come on. Be respectful of other people's homes.
Posted by DelBride2012[/QUOTE]

I live in downtown Chicago and even in the dead of winter, I don't ask people to remove their shoes in my home.

My H and I just recently got a new rug that has a lot of white in it. We plan on having some larger parties this summer and we decided that we'll just move the rug before we ask people to take off their shoes.

(I normally equate people who have the no shoe policy as people who don't like to clean. (to clarify, that's not because of anything anyone said in this thread, that's becaues of people IRL I know that have this rule because they hate to clean))

To sum it up: If you have a no shoe rule in your home, don't have parties.

Hosting Bridal Shower, No Shoe Policy at my home

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