Wedding Etiquette Forum

F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?

I like to give practical gifts and know that people actually want what I'm giving them.  I'm not huge on surprises....actually I'm terrible about them.  My family just always had us write lists. 

Even though this year H won't tell me anything he wants, so I am surprising him with something....but I know it's something he wants! 

So do you fall on the side of practicality or surprise?

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Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?

  • I think it depends on the person. Like, my mom? Likes to be surprised. So she just won't tell anyone what to get her.

    My brother? He's at that stage of life with 2 kids where they want practical stuff, so I'll go by their lists because I know that's just where they're at.

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  • I want to surprise people with practical stuff (things my family won't buy for themselves but they'll use on a daily basis). But I also want people to enjoy their gift as soon as I buy it. I'm terrible about giving my family their gifts early, or telling them what it is so they can look forward to it.
  • Practicality. I'm terrible at surprises, although this year my mom and my sister both have no idea what I got them. I'm pretty proud of myself, because usually everyone knows. I just hate buying something that ends up not getting used. I'd rather they know what it is and actually want it.
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  • I'm really bad with surprises too. I always just ask people what they want. And I definitely go for practical stuff, I got H a suitcase last year even though that wasn't what he wanted. Oh well, he uses it all the time. And this year I refused to get my little brother video games and got him books instead. I'm a mean sister. 
  • edited December 2011
    I pretty much do practical stuff.  Most of my family appreciates that.  Sometimes I'll throw in a few surprises.

    I always want to give people stuff early though.  I hate knowing I have something they will want/need and not being able to give it to them until some pre-destined time.
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  • Im practical, I usually buy everyone clothes, socks ect since I know they need it...
  • I like to give off of lists and my H loves to surprise everyone. Usually I end up doing a mix of both depending on whose gift I am buying.
  • Surprise.  Definitely! 

    In the meantime, H hates to be surprised.  My refusal to let anything slip is killing him. 
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  • I guess I like to surprise. I only give to H anymore. A couple of years ago I did a bacon theme. I got bacon salt, bacon band aids, bacon toilet paper, bacon candle, bacon chocolate, bacon floss. It was pretty funny.

    When we were dating long distance, I got him an EZ pass for Valentine's Day. That's still his favorite ever. That and the bacon.
  • I do both but I lean more toward the surprise side. I also love to make things for people.
  • It definitely depends on the person for me. I love to TRY to surprise H, but we're both awful at surprises. My sisters and Dad, I usually go for practical. I love surprising my mom and niece and nephew though.
  • The only 100% practical gift I give is to my grandparents. I usually get them a giftcard to the grocery store they go to. They know it's coming but I feel better knowing I helped buy groceries. Plus, they have 40+ years worth of stuff in their house. The last thing they want is more stuff.
  • I like to give useful, unexpected gifts. Last year, I bought H a table saw. He didn't have a clue it was coming, but he really likes it and uses it often.

    My mom usually likes to be surprised, but this year, she asked for something specific. Since she never does that, I'll buy it for her, since I figure she really wants it.
  • I do some gift cards, because some folks are just plain damn difficult to buy for (aka, my brother and sister in law).

    The nephews took a little more thinking this year - it's been easy for the older one; he's been a big hot wheels kid. But nope - no more. We had to change our game plan in the middle of Toys R Us.

    John's family makes lists. Which I hate making, but is easier to buy off of. Half the time, though, if you're specific about what you'd like, they go off and get what they want. I asked for an electric plush twin blanket; got a throw (said no throw). John once asked for the only sock he wears, even with the catalog link; they went to some store and bought something "similar." It kind of makes the lists pointless.

    I did practical for my brother and sister in law, token gifts for my parents (they refused anything else), fun gifts for the kids, and John bought for his family. So, really, it just depends.
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  • I love doing surprises.  I like the idea of giving someone something they really want but aren't expecting to get.  H is the same way.
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  • See, I kind of feel that the practical stuff is "cheating."  I have to buy socks because I'm a grown-up, and that's what grown-ups do.  We buy socks.  So, unless they're really awesome socks (like these -- link!), I'd much rather give people things that want but can't justify buying for themselves, like the bacon-flavored lipbalm I just ordered from ThinkGeek for H's stocking.
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  • I like having a list. I also like to scour (Etsy especially) different sites to find something unique and different. I do tend to give gifts that are more practical than not. But I like kinda fun/unexpected things as well

    I have no idea I am a weird gift giver... but weird in the way I know you'll like it.
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  • I shoot for surprise, fail, and end up going with practical.
  • Well, I don't go quite as practical as socks.  I guess I buy fun and practical?  Stuff that will get used a lot, but still a little bit of a splurge.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:9bdd4cbd-3d65-40b8-bca5-de9e7be8d204">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>See, I kind of feel that the practical stuff is "cheating."</strong>  I have to buy socks because I'm a grown-up, and that's what grown-ups do.  We buy socks.  So, unless they're really awesome socks (like these -- link !), I'd much rather give people things that want but can't justify buying for themselves, like the bacon-flavored lipbalm I just ordered from ThinkGeek for H's stocking.
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    I can see where you are coming from with the bolded, but isn't it nice to buy something for someone that they need and then they can spend their own money on something they want?

    As I said in the other thread, I normally buy myself everything I need and want throughout the year, so really I just end up getting cash and gift cards.

    H thinks that my family's christmas is pretty lame....cause there is really no element of surprise.  I say whatever....it makes us happy. :)
  • I love when I can do a practical surprise; I got my mom a new purse for her bday that she didn't ask for, but loves (yay!) and will get a lot of use out of. 

    Failing that, I prefer practical over a surprise.  I prefer to receive practical gifts, so that's probably why.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:cb362827-cfc8-46a4-90be-0521614f06e8">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess I like to surprise. I only give to H anymore. A couple of years ago I did a bacon theme. I got bacon salt, bacon band aids, bacon toilet paper, bacon candle, bacon chocolate, bacon floss. It was pretty funny. 
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>That is amazing. I already bought H's present but if I didn't I would totally be doing a bacon theme now. I might save this for his birthday. I almost bought him bacon band aids once. </div><div>
    </div><div>I usually don't do surprises unless it's something really good. I like knowing what people want. 

    </div>
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  • I also like to make things. This year, I'm making a Rubik's Cube tissue box cover for my brother. He saw one on BBT and wants it.

    I'm also making a Space Invaders hat for H. That'll be a surprise. 

    My dad's all-time favorite gift was when I was super poor and told him I'd bake him anything he wanted each month. He got to pick whatever he wanted, and he didn't have to share. He ended up with a variety of cakes, pies, cookies and breads.
  • It depends on the person. For my mom, I get her whatever I know she'll love, which is usually something fun/pretty/unique/not at all practical. For my brother, this year he wants money for school books and that's what he's getting.

    I don't usually need a list for people, so I guess I get more 'surprise' gifts. But like I said, it depends on the person if that surprise is practical or not. I mean, H gets me kitchen stuff for Christmas and while many would find that practical, I find it fun and exciting.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:ffbb3f08-23aa-49a0-856a-523aa44541fa">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also like to make things. This year, I'm making a Rubik's Cube tissue box cover for my brother. He saw one on BBT and wants it. I'm also making a Space Invaders hat for H. That'll be a surprise. <strong> My dad's all-time favorite gift was when I was super poor and told him I'd bake him anything he wanted each month. He got to pick whatever he wanted, and he didn't have to share. He ended up with a variety of cakes, pies, cookies and breads.</strong>
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's a pretty awesome idea!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:9671fa79-3cd0-4344-b028-8bfe7b303f39">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love when I can do a practical surprise; I got my mom a new purse for her bday that she didn't ask for, but loves (yay!) and will get a lot of use out of.  Failing that, I prefer practical over a surprise. <strong> I prefer to receive practical gifts, so that's probably why.</strong>
    Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

    I think I'm the same way.  H and I live in a small place and I HATE clutter.  My ILs refuse to ask us what we need and we end up getting duplicates of everything we already have.  Oh and books....H's mom gives him books.  She hasn't realized yet that he never ever reads them.  Ugh.

    (p.s. I'm not a book hater at all, I just hate that we have 800 inspirational books laying around that NO ONE reads)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:84c3013c-2f1e-40ea-b182-b9000c9b32a2">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you? : That is amazing. I already bought H's present but if I didn't I would totally be doing a bacon theme now. I might save this for his birthday. I almost bought him bacon band aids once.  I usually don't do surprises unless it's something really good. I like knowing what people want. 
    Posted by eorea[/QUOTE]

    I actually did a bacon-themed gift for my brother this year. (and then ended up buying several for H too after he was so excited about my brothers, haha)  I went purely edible though.  Bacon Hot Sauce, Bacon Mayo (I'm imagining it will taste BLT-y), Bacon Salt, Bacon Popcorn, and for my marine brother Tactical Bacon (good for up to like 10 years - basically bacon jerky). 

    ThinkGeek.com is one of my favorite places to peruse for Christmas gift ideas.  I've bought several tshirts/posters for my teenage cousins, nerdy games for H, we got colored bubbles for our niece and nephew this year. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fu-christmas-list-postwhat-kind-of-gift-giver?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e259c72b-eece-4bea-ae07-f81a29109b91Post:3d7606e3-1968-4df3-9646-8d5b9ebc2bf5">Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: F/U to Christmas List Post....What Kind of Gift Giver are you? : I think I'm the same way.  H and I live in a small place and <strong>I HATE clutter</strong>.  My ILs refuse to ask us what we need and we end up getting duplicates of everything we already have.  Oh and books....H's mom gives him books.  She hasn't realized yet that he never ever reads them.  Ugh. (p.s. I'm not a book hater at all, I just hate that we have 800 inspirational books laying around that NO ONE reads)
    Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.  And I don't go socks-practical.  More like; a new impact driver b/c dad's is crapping out.  Or cushions for mom's patio furniture.  Stuff they'd probably eventually buy themselves, but haven't.
  • Kate I have an obession with Thinkgeek and Etsy. I found some cool different things on there.

    I went outside the box for my dad this year and got him the Warren Miller movie from the year I was born. He loves skiing and Warren Miller but I made it a little special I guess? I thought it was kinda cool.
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  • It really depends year to year.  I try to give thoughtful gifts, whether they are practical or not, but sometimes some people are just so hard to buy for, so I have to ask.

    H and I do Amazon wish lists to each other every year and I'll normally buy him a few things off his list and then try to do one thing that he didn't even think to ask for.  This year, it's new lenses for his sunglasses, but a few years ago, it was a custom framed poster print of one of his favorite photographers.

    The gift I'm most excited to give this year though is for my mom.  I'm predicting that she'll cry, which I don't think she's ever done over a gift before.  It's going to be fun.
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