NWR: Going "Natural"

tyboyd · November 2010

Ladies, I called myself going natural. I haven't had a relaxer since June, and I'm doing pretty good! BUT I think I'm going to put a relaxer on my hair today.

Reasons:

- I'm not wearing my hair in a natural style. I keep it straight. What's the point?! My mom is natural, but she rocks her fro and twists and whatever else.

- It's more damaging to my hair to have to straighten it than it is to just relax it.

- And a relaxer has been sitting in my linen closet since July, looking at me everyday! lol

To all my natural ladies: Why did you go natural? How's that working for you?

For the creamy crack heads: Why can't you stop getting a relaxer? How often do you indulge in the creamy crack?

My mom {in July}. As she would say, she "loves her nappy."

banks69 · November 2010

How are you straightening your hair? I plan to go natural (again) after my honeymoon and I would like the option of wearing it straight when I want. The last time I went natural I cut all of my hair off, so while it was really short it was so easy to manage, but when it started growing out it wasn't so cute!

PhillyBride123 · November 2010

Your mom is cute...

I am a natural lady...I stop putting relaxers in my hair about 9 years ago. I have had braids, locks and twists. Right now I have my own hair in 2 strand twists. Every once in a while, I'll go to the Dominican ladies and get the 'blow out". On Sunday I am getting a sew-in weave. Relaxers use to break my hair really bad, I always had to rock an ultra short cut. Now my hair is a little past my shoulder (straightened). I love it I would never go back to a relaxer because I know my hair would fall out and I would be back to rocking ultra short cuts again...no, no..I love having my FI put his fingers through my hair when I get the blow out...and he likes it too

.

tyboyd · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-going-natural?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:ce279ef2-1202-4ab5-b73e-30520d53bdf8Post:25028c4d-3f00-4453-a86c-f0ee7f0bbf3b">Re: NWR: Going "Natural"</a>:
[QUOTE]How are you straightening your hair? I plan to go natural (again) after my honeymoon and I would like the option of wearing it straight when I want. The last time I went natural I cut all of my hair off, so while it was really short it was so easy to manage, but when it started growing out it wasn't so cute!
Posted by banks69[/QUOTE]

<div>I just use a flat iron. Nothing fancy.Got a Revlon from Target for $15, it came with a regular sized one and a super little one. And I have a Conair curler from Walmart. I took cosmetology, so I straighten it myself with no problems. And I refuse to cut my hair off! I want to, but I'm scared. And FI said I "can't".</div>

tyboyd · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-going-natural?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:ce279ef2-1202-4ab5-b73e-30520d53bdf8Post:5bed3ebc-18bb-4dba-afa6-9b96eff7bfc9">Re: NWR: Going "Natural"</a>:
[QUOTE]Your mom is cute... I am a natural lady...I stop putting relaxers in my hair about 9 years ago. I have had braids, locks and twists. Right now I have my own hair in 2 strand twists. Every once in a while, I'll go to the Dominican ladies and get the 'blow out". On Sunday I am getting a sew-in weave. Relaxers use to break my hair really bad, I always had to rock an ultra short cut. Now my hair is a little past my shoulder (straightened). I love it I would never go back to a relaxer because I know my hair would fall out and I would be back to rocking ultra short cuts again...no, no..I love having my FI put his fingers through my hair when I get the blow out...and he likes it too .
Posted by PhillyBride123[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks. She told me I couldn't post her pic, but oh well! {She'll be "25" Saturday. LOL}</div><div>9 YEARS?! WOW! I commend you! When I stopped getting relaxers, I had a sew-in. I actually want one now. I just don't see the point of ME being natural when I'm not wearing it natural.</div>

eagles347 · November 2010

I'm natural as well and have been for a year, but I still consider myself "transitioning" because I'm growing my hair out to my ideal length in terms of management and styling preferences. I intend to wear straight styles the majority of the time. I chose this route because it has helped me to grow a healthier head of hair. I was natural a few years ago (each time I cut off to almost nothing) and I gave in after about 11 months or so. I got relaxers for like 3 months before my hair started falling out in my hands. I was devastated and refuse to ever touch chemicals again. At most, I will get a black rinse since my natural hair color can look dusty at times. I love the texture of my hair, but it isn't very thick so it isn't as fun to try "nappy" styles. They don't last for me. It is empowering for me too. I don't think my journey has been a spiritual one since I haven't rocked the natural styles really.

cincy2011 · November 2010

go to www.longhaircareforum.com and www.curlynikki.com for great ideas/instructions on how to do your natural hair! I would try some of those styles before relaxing again!

I've been natural for about 8-9 years, and love it. But I only started loving it after I learned some new styles - twist outs, braid outs, puffs and wash n gos work best for me. I only get it straightened maybe once a month, so I don't put a lot of heat on it.

krimson19 · November 2010

your mom''s hair is beautiful!

i've been natural for 12 years now. i had a twa for several years. i had locs for 6 years. now i'm back to rocking a fro. i've never been tempted to straighten. i actually prefer the feel of my kinks and naps. i let perms go because i was really ready to walk away from them. i didn't experience breakage or damage. my permed hair was all i knew from 5 to 23. my DH actually prefers natural hair to relaxed hair too, so that's a plus!

if you aren't ready to go natural, don't try to force yourself. if you're ready you'll know you're ready. i just chopped mine off and i never looked back.

ellone400 · November 2010

Tried going natural but missed my perm too much lol.

tyboyd · November 2010

@Eagles: See, I don't have a problem with relaxers breaking out this thick hair! I can put a super on and be fine. {Though I use regulars, not that it matters.} But I hope your journey to natural works out for you!

@Cincy: I'll take a look, but the problem is... I want my hair straight! lol.

@Krimson: Thank you. And wow, 12 years?! What is a twa? I have great hair, without the relaxer but I DON'T like neck naps, as I call them. And my FI doesn't support me wearing a fro or something like that.

I commend all you natural ladies, especially the natural veterans! What if I keep the middle natural and get touch ups around the edges? I can't get with the neck naps.

missrekaeagle · November 2010

I'm a creamy crackhead, who attempted to go natural for like 3 months. But when I found out I was pregnant and then my grandma passed from cancer, I felt like I was losing control and I took it back with having my hair relaxed. I just couldn't let myself go to my grandma's funeral looking unkempt because clearly I was too early in the natural game to make my hair look any kind of decent.

My sister has been natural for like 2 or 3 years and I love her natural hair, but I get my relaxers professionally done every 8 weeks or so.

LSAS · November 2010

For the creamy crack heads: Why can't you stop getting a relaxer? How often do you indulge in the creamy crack?

Was natural until I was 16, decided I needed something easier to manage. I have very thick hair. I get a relaxer every 3 months, a trust me that is hard even with the relaxer my hair is still thick. I find that with weekly care and maintenance I am still able to have helathy hair!

Lisa

banks69 · November 2010

If my hair was more manageable when it was natural I would still have it today. However whenever I try to flat iron my hair it didn't really straighten. And, I don't look great with the fros or twists, so straight is the look I prefer.

I do sew-in weaves and hair pieces at times (like right now and for the wedding) but it would be great if my hair would straighten with a curling or flat iron. I miss the old-fshioned pressing combs where my hair would stay straight for about a week or two even in the summer. Tried the electric ones but didn't straighten my hair much.

I really need to go back natural because my hair is thinning and falling out.

krimson19 · November 2010

@tyboyd: a twa is a tweeny weeny afro. that's the baby fro. i'm rocking a nice size one now. it's not as full as your mom's but i'm working on it. for the kitchen, you could always just try to keep it lower than the rest of your hair.

it's the person mostly. you have to do what's for you. frankly having a nappy kitchen doesn't bother me. and having someone to support you in the decision is important too. i've been blessed to have had BFs who loved my natural. and not all of them loved natural women either.

also going natural doesn't solve the problem for all women either. women either relaxed or natural are always looking for that magic product. there are just as many natural product junkies as there are relaxed ones! but i do spend much less money

tyboyd · November 2010

@Reka and Lisa: When I was relaxing, I got mine like every 4-5 weeks! I HATED new growth. As soon as I saw some, I wanted a relaxer. It was so bad that my scalp would hurt if I didn't get one. {Yeah, I was addicted! lol}

@Banks: Yeah, if your hair is thinning and falling out, I'd say go natural. Pressing combs can be super damaging to the hair.

@Krimson: Good that you had support! And I actually have a friend that makes and sales natural hair products! {My mom uses her products.} Well, 2 friends. I'll post their info for you ladies. You can never have too many products, can you?!

kittybutton · November 2010

I went 2 1/2 months without my "hair crack" and got "dominican blow outs" and loved it. But I KNOW my hair and its just too time consuming.I just couldnt deal with the "hard to manage" part. Its so easy for me to slap on that hair crack and put it in a ponytail. Im ALWAYS on the go. FI doesnt care for the "NATURAL LOOK" Its just not FOR ME. Good luck mama!

TysWife2Be · November 2010

You ladies are making me feel TERRIBLE!

I get my hair done (press n curl) every other week...

krimson19 · November 2010

now when i first cut my hair, my family hated it! they got used to it and me.

@banks: if your hair is thinning, you probably do need to start back towards the natural path.

tyboyd · November 2010

@kitty: Girl, I'm over here tryin to inny minny miney moe if I should relax it or not! lol

@KP: RIGHT! I'm like ok... why am I struggling?!

banks69 · November 2010

I'll probably go ahead and "start over" once the wedding's over. I want an updo and 1-inch hair won't do it.....

Come to think of it, when FI and I started dating I was rocking the short curly natural hairstyle.....

kittybutton · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-going-natural?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ce279ef2-1202-4ab5-b73e-30520d53bdf8Post:7bd6900f-10c3-4ba4-92bf-4e6ef297f79c">Re: NWR: Going "Natural"</a>:
[QUOTE]@kitty: Girl, I'm over here tryin to inny minny miney moe if I should relax it or not! lol @KP: RIGHT! I'm like ok... why am I struggling?!
Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

I DID THE SAME THING!!! lol...i just cant deal with the edges..I started have anxiety about it...SMH!...Im having rapid heart beats right now just thinking about it.LOL

PhillyBride123 · November 2010

As Krimson said my nappy kitchens don't bother me either. I get comments on my natural hair. My FI said he really like me with locks (I had them for about 5 years)...I had them when we met, but I like to change my hair so that is why I took them out..it took 4 days of unraveling but I did it and I love the fact that I can get a sew-in one day micros the next and a "blow out" after that...lol

NeColeMonet · November 2010

I'm 4yrs natural and REFUSE to go back. I LOVE my hair texture.. When I was transitioning I noticed that when my "new growth" got wet it was doing this 'cute" S curl thang and I wanted the rest to be that way so I got to cutting. I love walking in the rain and not having to worry about it getting wet or being able to wash and go when I feel like it. After the wedding about two months ago, I was sitting in the mirror taking out my micros and I just decided to whack all my hair off again and do my second or third or fourth (lost count) big chop. @ TY: PERSONALLY I THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT IF YOU WHACKED IT ALL OFF BUT SHORT HAIR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE A NICE SHAPED FACE FOR IT. Do what makes you HAPPY!! it's all about what you're comfortable doing. Alot of people think being natural is "easier" it is NOT. It takes WORK. I'm half way ball headed and STILL spend more time on my hair now then I did when it was long. Anyways here are a few pics of my napptural journey (most recent on top)

tyboyd · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-going-natural?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:ce279ef2-1202-4ab5-b73e-30520d53bdf8Post:2cb5fb9d-acda-41a3-9e2e-31598a962f56">Re: NWR: Going "Natural"</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 4yrs natural and REFUSE to go back. I LOVE my hair texture.. When I was transitioning I noticed that when my "new growth" got wet it was doing this 'cute" S curl thang and I wanted the rest to be that way so I got to cutting. I love walking in the rain and not having to worry about it getting wet or being able to wash and go when I feel like it. After the wedding about two months ago, I was sitting in the mirror taking out my micros and I just decided to whack all my hair off again and do my second or third or fourth (lost count) big chop. <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#FF0000"><strong>@ TY: PERSONALLY I THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT IF YOU WHACKED IT ALL OFF BUT SHORT HAIR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE A NICE SHAPED FACE FOR IT. </strong></font>Do what makes you HAPPY!! it's all about what you're comfortable doing. Alot of people think being natural is "easier" it is NOT. It takes WORK. I'm half way ball headed and STILL spend more time on my hair now then I did when it was long. Anyways here are a few pics of my napptural journey (most recent on top)
Posted by NeColeMonet[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>OMG, you look beautiful with your hair cut off!!! Like, for real!</div><div>
</div><div>Thank you! I want my hair like Kandi on RHOA, so I want to cut it, but I'm scared! But I don't think I can handle chopping it off. And I definitely can't do it before the wedding. lol. We'll see. </div><div>
</div><div>I think I'm about to go shampoo my hair so that I can't relax it....</div>

NeColeMonet · November 2010

Sweetie, YOU ARE GORGEOUS. I'm telling you you could pull it off. If you want to see how you would "look" with your hair cut..get a weave. People always think that you use weave to make your hair longer...you can your hair braided and get a sew-in and let them cut it. Obviously the back will have to be what I called "layed" :tapered but NOT shaved in the back (not your hair the weave). But I think short hair would look amazing on you. It takes a real brave woman to go from long to short hair. My co-worker did it and she looks 900% better, lol. Some women hide BEHIND their hairand feel like they aren't pretty if there hair ain't done their backs or cascading down the sides of their face. I cut mine all of because I needed to learn how to embrace this big nose, lips and eyes that God "blessed" me with, lol. I told hubby I think it's going to stay this short til I get out the Army and can loc it. He loves it.

tyboyd · November 2010

Aww, thanks. I'll cont. our convo on FB. lol

missrekaeagle · November 2010

I agree with Necole that you would look good with short, natural hair Ty. Someone with a big head and round face like me on the other hand, would not look so good with taking the big chop.

sweets18 · November 2010

I am natural and have been for over 4 years. I never did a BC or anything though. I would say DON'T DO IT!!!! Your hair will love you for it! I wear my hair straight all the time, but I never straighten it. My stylist uses a hydration machine to seal in the moisture and when I leave there my hair is bouncy and flowing like crazy! I don't even put heat on my hair until I go back to her and she does it again! She charges $65 every time I go but it is so worth it and my hair is so healthy!

Here are some pics where you can see my hair...

Maybe you can call around and find a shop that does the hydration treatment. I promise you, you will not regret it! I love it!

sadou02 · November 2010

I love the "crack". Its funny you bring this up because about a month ago I saw a girl with natural hair and started thinking about going natural since I never have and was frustrated with my hair. It was falling or anything and was still healthy but I wanted to try something new. I asked FI and he didnt have a problem with it up until I told him I would have to chop my hair off and then he wasnt having it.

I just dont know if I could deal with that inbetween stage. But props to all of you who have been doing it for years.

tyboyd · November 2010

@sweets: YES, I have to find a place with that!

@sadou: Yeah, the in between is weird! lol. I have about over an inch of wavy hair at scalp, then straight hair! lol.

happe2gether · November 2010

I'm late as usual (lol) but I've been natural for almost a year and a half now (this time). I had no choice but to cut all my hair off because of a bad coloring/relaxer experience. I started with a twa then moved up to micros but got tired of always worrying about the braids at the temple popping off. I finally found my savior about 4 months ago and have been hooked on 2-strand twists ever since. My fiance actually suggest I go to her and I'm hooked on her personal hair crack product she makes. My hair has grown like weeds and I'm loving it. I told her I wanted to stay natural AT LEAST until I get married but now I can't see doing anything else but natural. I think it was easier for me because FI said he liked it best because there was no "extra" hair, it was all me. But I will say for a white guy, he knows his way around a hair shop, as many times as I've taken him to get hair for myself or my daughter!!

I SO want to try a Dominican Blowout but I'm scared. It looks like so much heat is put on your hair. Am I wrong about that?

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