Dietary restrictions of guests

damaless · July 2010

I'm having a buffet at my wedding involving several choices of entree, including one vegetarian entree. There are also two vegetable side dishes, as well as a cheese platter and other things vegetarians can eat. Should I still get separate meals made for my vegetarian guests to ensure they get enough to eat, since presumably some non-vegetarian guests might still want to partake of the vegetable dishes? Or should I just make sure that when it comes to deciding which tables go in what order to get their food, place the ones with people who have strict dietary requirements closer to the front of the list?

What about stuff like lactose intolerance? I know there are several dishes (including entrees) which don't have high lactose content, so there should be enough food for people who are lactose intolerant, but should I get separate meals made for them just in case?

danieliza1127 · July 2010

If there is a vegetarian entree PLUS two veggie side dishes on your buffet, I think your bases are all covered.

You don't have to do anything special for lactose intolerant people.

ehathewa · July 2010

I think what you have sounds good. Lots of choices. Most people with big dietary restrictions (like gluten, vegan, etc) come prepared with snacks.

polichik · July 2010

Three cheers for being such a thoughtful bride! I'd say that your vegetarian guests will be fine, although here's one thing to think about... I'm not sure if they're vegetarian for religious reasons, but if they are, buffets are quite easily contaminated (somebody uses the fork for the steak to grab some potatoes, etc.). I'm a vegetarian because meat grosses me out, so even though I'd rather not eat potatoes that have been touched by meat, I can if it really comes down to it. Somebody with religious feelings might feel uncomfortable with it.

If all your veggie friends are like me, I'm sure it'll be fine. However, if it doesn't jack up the cost and will ease your mind, I think that having separate plates made for them would be a very kind, thoughtful gesture that I know would impress me. Of all the weddings I've been to, one of them did this, and I know I'll remember it for a long time.

damaless · July 2010

I also have some people with peanut allergies, sunflower seed allergies, and I'm not sure to what extent I should be accommodating for these. Would providing them with the information of which buffet items may contain the allergens suffice? I know there are also going to be staff members assisting guests with some of the buffet items, so would it be okay if I don't provide the information, but they can ask the kitchen staff about it if they are in doubt? I would hate to have something horrible happen. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I want to make sure everyone has enough to eat and feels confident that what they're eating isn't going to kill them. :P

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

I think your idea of sending known vegetarians through the line first is a good one, so that they can get their fill before the carnivores. I agree with dani, though; you can't please everyone, so I think just doing veggies is enough to please the majority of your guests. Most people with dietary restrictions know what they should and shouldn't eat.

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

I would recommend either menus or labels on the buffet so people know what's in each dish. I wouldn't get too detailed, but if it has nuts or something, you can point that out.

waltzingmatilda13 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dietary-restrictions-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e41b087-3f87-448e-afed-c231419bb425Post:cc3d4c24-df4f-4562-b40c-a798eaba80f7">Re: Dietary restrictions of guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I also have some people with peanut allergies, sunflower seed allergies, and I'm not sure to what extent I should be accommodating for these. Would providing them with the information of which buffet items may contain the allergens suffice? I know there are also going to be staff members assisting guests with some of the buffet items, so would it be okay if I don't provide the information, but they can ask the kitchen staff about it if they are in doubt? I would hate to have something horrible happen. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I want to make sure everyone has enough to eat and feels confident that what they're eating isn't going to kill them. :P
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

I think you can just let them ask, but maybe put a menu out so people get the gist of what's there. I would hope that people with severe allergies would already know to ask what's in the food they are about to eat. Just make sure to check with your vendor to see if the servers actually know what is in the food, because they may not have any idea.

LD1970 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dietary-restrictions-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e41b087-3f87-448e-afed-c231419bb425Post:50b48056-796c-40fe-acf0-a5a3efacdd0b">Re: Dietary restrictions of guests</a>:
[QUOTE]Three cheers for being such a thoughtful bride! I'd say that your vegetarian guests will be fine, although here's one thing to think about... I'm not sure if they're vegetarian for religious reasons, but if they are, buffets are quite easily contaminated (somebody uses the fork for the steak to grab some potatoes, etc.). I'm a vegetarian because meat grosses me out, so even though I'd rather not eat potatoes that have been touched by meat, I can if it really comes down to it. Somebody with religious feelings might feel uncomfortable with it. If all your veggie friends are like me, I'm sure it'll be fine. However, if it doesn't jack up the cost and will ease your mind, I think that having separate plates made for them would be a very kind, thoughtful gesture that I know would impress me. Of all the weddings I've been to, one of them did this, and I know I'll remember it for a long time.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]
Valid point, but generally if they're that serious about religion (i.e. keeping kosher) they can't eat at a regular venue anyway. You know that at one point in history that same serving spoon/plate/chafing dish that now houses veggies has housed non-kosher meats and probably some dairy too, so the dishes and serving things are no longer suitable for those who keep strictly to the laws of kashrut.<div>
</div><div>Mostly it should be OK. I have parties even at my house with vegetarians and people who keep kosher and they work with it. (Same spatula for veggie burgers & beef, but the veggie burgers are on foil on the grill - stuff like that)</div>

polichik · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dietary-restrictions-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e41b087-3f87-448e-afed-c231419bb425Post:cc3d4c24-df4f-4562-b40c-a798eaba80f7">Re: Dietary restrictions of guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I also have some people with peanut allergies, sunflower seed allergies, and I'm not sure to what extent I should be accommodating for these. Would providing them with the information of which buffet items may contain the allergens suffice? I know there are also going to be staff members assisting guests with some of the buffet items, so would it be okay if I don't provide the information, but they can ask the kitchen staff about it if they are in doubt? I would hate to have something horrible happen. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I want to make sure everyone has enough to eat and feels confident that what they're eating isn't going to kill them. :P
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

The same buffet contamination applies here. If they have severe allergies (my little cousin has his throat close up if there's even a drop of peanut oil in the sauce), so when we thought he was coming, we'd have had a special plate made for him.

I tend to always err on the side of caution with stuff like this, but it's probably because I've had such crappy personal experiences.

arbolita · July 2010

Definitely tell your venue upfront about the allergies people have so that they don't use the same pans to cook things. People with peanut allergies are usually allergic to the peanut oil, which is easily transferable from one thing to another - if you let your caterer/venue know, I'm sure they will label thngs well, and also make sure not to use the same pans/cooking utensils on the dishes containing peanuts with other dishes. Or depending on your menu choices, they just might find a way to avoid the potential of peanut oil altogether.

damaless · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dietary-restrictions-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e41b087-3f87-448e-afed-c231419bb425Post:50b48056-796c-40fe-acf0-a5a3efacdd0b">Re: Dietary restrictions of guests</a>:
[QUOTE]Three cheers for being such a thoughtful bride! I'd say that your vegetarian guests will be fine, although here's one thing to think about... I'm not sure if they're vegetarian for religious reasons, but if they are, buffets are quite easily contaminated (somebody uses the fork for the steak to grab some potatoes, etc.). I'm a vegetarian because meat grosses me out, so even though I'd rather not eat potatoes that have been touched by meat, I can if it really comes down to it. Somebody with religious feelings might feel uncomfortable with it. If all your veggie friends are like me, I'm sure it'll be fine. However, if it doesn't jack up the cost and will ease your mind, I think that having separate plates made for them would be a very kind, thoughtful gesture that I know would impress me. Of all the weddings I've been to, one of them did this, and I know I'll remember it for a long time.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'll just have a portion of the vegetarian entree set aside beforehand. I'm pretty sure the venue will do this for me at no extra cost. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they already got "their share" of the buffet and feel uncomfortable going back for more since they already had a plate of it, though.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

If someone has a deathly allergy, they'll probably allert your or the staff.

Will the buffet be refilled? If so, I don't think you need to worry about sending vegetarians through first.

If there are people serving who know the dishes, people can ask them questions like, "is the soup made with chicken stock or vegetable broth?" (I ask this a lot.)

I would think little cards with dish names/descriptions and ingredients (or common allergens like: contains dairy and gluten) would be a nice addition.

danieliza1127 · July 2010

Well typically the buffet is refilled and kept stocked, so I don't even think sending them through the line first is all that necessary. Also, in my experience, I don't think most people go back for seconds at wedding receptions.

Probably the best thing to do is just ask your venue these questions to see how they've handled it in the past.

damaless · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dietary-restrictions-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e41b087-3f87-448e-afed-c231419bb425Post:7d89c90e-1c11-47f4-b422-139365376f6c">Re: Dietary restrictions of guests</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dietary restrictions of guests : The same buffet contamination applies here. If they have severe allergies (my little cousin has his throat close up if there's even a drop of peanut oil in the sauce), so when we thought he was coming, we'd have had a special plate made for him. I tend to always err on the side of caution with stuff like this, but it's probably because I've had such crappy personal experiences.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

I don't think any of the dinner food is made with peanuts, but the desserts are more likely to have come into contact with them. The desserts come from a separate preparation area though. I'm not sure about sunflower oil. I think if I can get the assurance that nothing that came from the kitchen has those allergens in it, that's the best I can do. If they are concerned that something prepared in the kitchen in the past might have contained them, then anything the kitchen prepares (even a separate plate) will have that same issue.

wadingmoose · July 2010

I don't think it's such a big deal with buffets. You've made sure they're covered with some good vegetarian choices and that should be sufficient.

I know at my wedding, I knew that there were three diabetics attending. One was my Dad and one my husband. Yeah, I made sure that the buffet included foods that they could eat and would enjoy even though I know they know what their diet requires and how to feed themselves.

I worried less about the other guests because I see them the same way - they know what they can and can't eat. A variety was provided.

JennandJoel2010 · July 2010

I think having the meals set aside would be really nice of you, and they'll appreciate it. A good friend of mine cannot eat gluten, dairy, sugar, soy and is highly allergic to fruit. I had her call the caterer directly and they came up with a meal just for her.

tenofcups4me · July 2010

You might want to talk to the peanut allergy person and see if they have any special needs since that can be potentially severe and dangerous. Besides that, I don't see any reason to set aside any special meals when you've got multiple suitable options for people. In fact, I'm certain that my vegetarian friends would hate to have such a "fuss" made over them and would feel uncomfortable if presented with a special meal when everyone else is going through the buffet (and the buffet has a variety of options for them anyway).

noodle_oo · July 2010

My friends boyfriend has a nut allergy and I asked her about the food since we are also doing a buffet. She said he is so concerned about possible contamination, he never eats at weddings anyway. So she said not to get him a special plate mainly because he won't trust it anyway! He just eats before hand and brings a snack or something to tide him through. I was bummed, but I understand. If food could potentially kill me, I'm not sure I"d trust anything mass produced either.

You might just want to ask the person with allergies what will work for them.

damaless · July 2010

Noodle! We have the same wedding date I think, if your counter is accurate.

ohwhynot · July 2010

We didn't have any vegetarian entrees in our buffet, but we did have a lot for the vegetarians to eat, I think. Our caterer was encouraging people to come back for seconds (and thirds); they'd prepared a lot of food! We had beef tenderloin, lemon chicken, tossed salad, grilled vegetables (lots of types: sweet potatoes, zucchini, red peppers, asparagus, mushrooms, eggplant), a pesto tortellini salad, and bread. Everyone reported being very happy with what they got to eat.

I think most caterers take care to avoid some of more common allergens (except gluten, I guess) and will have warnings if they use nut products or shellfish in a dish where you wouldn't otherwise expect them.

corsucci2010 · July 2010

I am allergic to milk and also lactose intolerant, so I stay away from it at all costs. I recently went to a friend's wedding, and pretty much all the dishes I could not eat (they love cheese). I ended up having to eat the salad the whole night. I don't think you need to change your menu for the small amount of people who have problems with certain foods, but it would be really nice to just call them and give them a heads up so that they can be prepared. Believe me, it was kind of frustrating finding out you couldn't eat anything while everyone else was eating around you, especially when the hosts knew of my allergy.

damaless · July 2010

I found out from the venue that if I give them the names of the people with allergies, they can walk them through the buffet to warn them about items they can't eat. I hope this wouldn't be embarrassing for them, though.

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