My FI and I really want to get married in Puerto Rico. It is where my father is from and most of his family. Living in the states all of my life, my dad's family has missed out on almost every other milestone in my life, and I would love more than anything in the world to share it with them. My FI totally agrees with me, so we have been seriosuly entertaining the idea. My FMIL never learned how to manage money well and is under a lot of debt. I mean ALOT of debt. When we told her we were engaged she sounded very happy, and the first thing she asked us was whether or not we were going to P.R. When we told her we werent sure yet she said she was more than prepared to save up for it. If we do decided to go, Im worried that we will make all of our arrangements and be locked in and then she tell us she cant go b/c of money. Unfortunately she is a very manipulative person and likes to hold grudges for a while (she didnt speak to her son for over a year over an argument over religion), I guess I just dont know how to make her understand that it is her responsibility to get herself there and not ours. Im afraid she will take out her frustrations on her son, who deosnt deserve it.
Now onto the FSMIL: we just got engaged and her first question is whether or not my father is paying for the wedding. She literally said that first, no "congrats" or "I am so happy for you". This woman is also extremely sensitive and somehow finds a way to make every situation about her. So how can I find a nice diplomatic way of saying Its none of your F* cking business???