Bridesmaid Shoes

liz745 · December 2009

So I told my bridesmaids that they could choose any dress they wanted as long as it was blue and knee length. (i did ask them to let me see the dress before they bought it so i could give it a final approval). But anyway my question is this, if thier dresses arent matching should thier shoes? I wanted them to wear silver flats, im just not sure if i should do the same thing as the dresses and let them pick thier own or if i should pick the shoes so they all the same shoe. What do you think?!

kristinanddan · December 2009

They will coordinate enough with silver flats being the theme. 3 of my 4 girls wore gold shoes and one wore silver - we're still married, and I guarantee you if I asked anyone what color shoes my girls wore (even guests who love shoes), no one would know. I'm not saying that to sound snarky or rude, I promise, it just really doesn't matter.

SarahPLiz · December 2009

IMO, not all styles of knee length dresses look good with flats. and not every person looks good in flats. Perhaps you can just ask them to get silver shoes to go with the blue dresses.

FWIW, I never wear flats because they make me look squatty. I would feel more comfortable in at least a little bit of heel.

liz745 · December 2009

i want them to wear flats because i am very short and even though i am wearing heels on my wedding day, i dont really want everyone in my wedding party towering over me. Im not trying to be a bridezilla but if they wore heels they would all be like at least 1/2 a foot taller than me. But i asked all my girls if they would be ok with flats and they said it was fine. If flats dont work with thier dress then ill probably just switch to a small heel becuase i dont want them to feel uncomfortable. Also I am having a winter wedding and i thought flats would be safer for the snow and ice

KappaK · December 2009

Tell them the color and let them pick the shoe. I wouldn't dream of telling my BMs what type of shoe to wear! These are your closeest friends. I would hope you would care more about them being comfortable so that they could enjoy themselves than them being taller than you. Oh, and to put things in a better light, even if my MOH wore flats, she would be 8 inches taller than me!

liz745 · December 2009

i already said that if they felt more comfortable in heels i would switch it to a small heel and that my BMs prefer flats. I have never seen any of them wear heels, im not sure they even own any. I do care about my friends comfort.

I dont really see a difference between telling my friends what dress to wear vs. telling them what shoe to wear. I assume you let them all pick out thier own bridesmaid dresses as i did. All i was asking was if it would look good if the shoes matched, and i wouldnt just pick a shoe i liked id get all of thier input. Aparently its a horrible idea to have matching shoes though.

jessNlane52804 · December 2009

Awww! I'll side with you Liz. Honestly, I think it's bridezilla to flame a bride for asking for advice. I do not think it is unreasonable to ask them to wear similar shoes. I notice what shoes the bridesmaids are wearing, as does my mom, my MOH, and all of my aunts. Some of us just like details and for everything to be cohesive. True, a lot of your guests won't care, but if it does matter to you, then it is not too much to ask for them to have matching shoes.

Oh, and the last wedding I went to, the BM's wore: fushia v-neck dresses from JCrew in cotton cady fabric with a satin sash, matte low gold heels with a round toe, matching gold chain necklaces, and a feather in their hair. They looked beautiful. Some people notice.

Now for my actual advice on the shoes. If they are all wearing dresses of different fabric and the shade of blue will likely vary a bit since they are all different dresses, I think it would bring them together if they had the same shoes. I think if their shoes vary a lot also, they won't look coordinated. Have you considered a kitten heel? It's very low, but could be a bit dressier. If cost is an issue, Target and Payless have great shoes that would be tolerable to wear for a short ceremony. I'm having my girls wear matching shoes for the ceremony and pictures, then they can wear whatever they want after that.

jenn.daniel · December 2009

Specifing sliver flats is fine. Telling them one specific shoe is a problem. Shoes aren't like dresses that you can alter. I've tried plenty of shoes where the 8 is too small and the 8.5 is too big.

liz745 · December 2009

thanks...i like the look of the kitten heel better than flats actually. It does look dressier. And i think it will probably look better with the dresses

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Silver flats or low heels of their choice will look fine. Identical shoes will result in having some people be uncomfortable. Just because they do not have foot problems does not mean that identical shoes will fit all of them correctly.

The fit of flats need to be very good and vary somewhat by shoe. My regular shoe size often results in the shoe flopping off my heel and a half size down is painful, depending on the particular shoe. Unlike dresses, shoes cannot always be altered to fit.

It will be more obvious that they are in pain from shoes that are slightly too small or don't fit well or having difficulty keeping slightly large flats on their feet than that they are wearing slightly different "understated silver flats" or "dressy metallic silver flats" or "silver flats with a bow" of their choice.

kmt_cas · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-shoes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:c8a3e684-bc73-4102-80d7-4921980b076bPost:17d029cf-8935-4436-a5e3-f854db026e7d">Re: Bridesmaid Shoes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Shoes : i think your response was a little rude...why do i need perspective? It was just a question of what would look good. Everyone wants things to look good on thier wedding day. Thanks for the advice but if you could be a little more polite next time im sure any person you give advice to would appreciate it.
Posted by liz745[/QUOTE]

FWIW - she is not being rude, she is being honest. You asked our opinions, we are giving you our opinions. If you don't like our opinions, don't ask for them.

For the ladies who remember the shoes of the ladies in the BP you last attended - the only reason you remember them is because you are in the planning stage! Even if you weren't engaged yet, you were obviously in a long-term, committed relationship and thinking about the potential of getting engaged and taking notes at the wedding you were at. People won't remember anything. We got engaged August of '08. I've taken huge mental notes of every wedding we've been to since then. I could not tell you what the heck the BM had for shoes. Honestly, guests remember things like the food, the service, the way they felt while they were at the wedding (ie: uncomfortable, very happy, relaxed, tense, taken care of) - no one remembers the details except the bride and her mom.

That said, I do think if you want them to wear silver flats, tell them silver flats. Let them pick the shoe. You may not know if one of your girls has foot issues.

Honestly this post screams "I want someone to validate my want to dictate a shoe to my girls". If you want validation talk to your family or your FI, if you want real opinions ask us.

liz745 · December 2009

I do want opinions what i dont want is people telling me im a bridezilla or that i need perspective because i asked what would look good.

And these girls are my best friends! ive gone shoe shopping with them for years and i do know if they have foot issues or not. And i realize that the guests probably wont remember every detail but I will so I want to like what I remember.

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Look, the answer nearly everyone gave you is that it would look better and be better for your friends if you let them choose their own shoes based on guidelines given by you and reasons WHY the posters had those opinions.

You were unable to accept those opinions and your wording comes off in a somewaht bridezilla manner. If you are looking for honest opinions, you're in the right place. Your responses make it sound like you are looking for validation rather than opinions. This is a public internet forum and you cannot dictate the content of responses.

liz745 · December 2009

well alrighty then

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