Community› Local Wedding Boards› New Jersey
New Jersey
New Discussion

It's over

JulepheniaJulephenia member
Knottie Warrior 500 Comments
in New Jersey
Ok, so you all know I disppeared at the end of July.

Well.

FI violated his parole and has been in jail since then. At first, I kept hoping against hope that it was a minor infraction and we could overcome this. However things deteriorated rapidly. His father has been withholding information from me for several weeks, now, the lawyer won't reply to me (in spite of FI's injunction that he communicate with me), and, at the hearing, the PO recommended revocation. Tomorrow is another hearing, but I have no idea what the outcome will be.

There is another hearing tomorrow, but, with the little I do know, I have had enough.

I love him so very, very, very dearly, but I cannot ever trust him again. I certainly cannot trust his family, who have all but abandoned me and left me helpless.

I have lost weight and had serious physical issues from the emotional pain and stress.

I will be cancelling my May 1st date at Mayfair Farms, as well as my contract with The Fuzzpops. I will probably be selling my rings and some other jewelry at some point in the near future. (Any advice on this would be helpful - they are almost all amethysts.) The photographer never cashed the check, so I'll be calling him and cancelling the check with my bank. I am keeping my dress.

I have not officially, officially broken up with him - I have only spoken to him breifly on the phone on Saturday, where I pretty much told him I couldn't do this anymore. I am concerned that his family will cut me off completely if I make anything official before the hearing tomorrow, especially as they owe me money now. (And not just from the wedding cancellation.)

I have to break my lease and find a new apartment, as well - preferably with a roommate, as I cannot afford to live on my own. Any leads there would be incredibly helpful and very appreciated.

Obviously, I resigned my mod status. Once I'm done dismantling the wedding plans, I will most likely be deleting this account. You can contact me through PMs for a bit, but also through Julephenia at gmail.com

You ladies have been so wonderful, and I'm so sad to leave... I cannot believe my life right now - I feel shattered and utterly lost.
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: It's over

  • smw42smw42 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Becky- All I can say is that I'm here if you need anything at all and for you to feel free to email me or text/call- even if you just want to do dinner or chill. Things will get better, I promise. Take care of yourself and we're always here if you need anything at all.
    Anniversary Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • Danes983Danes983 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry that this has happened to you.  I will keep you in my prayers.  But this  may have been a blessing in disguise. I have full confidence you will bounce back!  Keep your chin up.
    Photobucket
    save the date
    Report Reply
  • misschristinecmisschristinec
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gosh, Becky,.. So sorry that you have been going through this.  Whatever decision you make will be the best on for you.  I wish you all the best and will keep in you my thoughts.

    -Christine
    image

    FOR SALE ITEMS!

    Wedding Planning Bio

    Report Reply
  • peaches85peaches85
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't even know what to say.  I'm so sorry you're going through this and I know it doesn't seem like it right now and it's a cliche, but everything happens for a reason and ultimately I am positive that you're going to wind up happier and better off wherever life takes you.

    Good luck with everything!!  We'll miss you!
    image 182 Invited
    image 0 Are ready to party!
    image 0 Will be missing the fun
    image 0 Can't find the mailbox...

    RSVP Deadline: June 15, 2011
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • demarcosjddemarcosjd
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So sorry you are going through this. I believe that everything happens for a reason and even though you might not understand it now I'm sure everything will work out for you. Try and stay positive and know that we are here for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Photobucket Bio
    Report Reply
  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Becky, we'll always be here for you if you need us.  I'm so sorry about what you're going through, and hope you're able to find peace/happiness/resolution/whatever you need soon.  If you miss us after you delete your account, you can always start fresh under a new name and find us here or on the Nest.  (Speaking of which, there's a brand new "Starting Over" board on the Nest if it would help you to talk to others going through breakups...)

    ::Hugs::  
    image
    Report Reply
  • gymchick05gymchick05
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow- I dont even know what to say except I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going thru. I cant really relate, but I know in the past when I went through a pretty bad breakup, after everything is official, it did seem to get a little better because at least there was closure. If you need anything at all, even though we dont really know each other, feel free to PM me. Sometimes it helps just to get stuff off your chest. So sorry- wishing you the best!
    Report Reply
  • Jaytee501Jaytee501
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Becky, take care of yourself, you are in my thoughts.

    Jamie.

    A Yankee Fan & A Red Sox Fan...
    imageimage
    "5.01.09"

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh geez, hon, I'm really sorry you're going through this. Stay strong, you'll get through it. I wish you all the best.
    image
    Report Reply
  • jrgoogrljrgoogrl
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Stay strong and keep your head up. Everything happens for a reason. You will get through this. We're here if you need us!
    wedding website Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • leah2bleah2b member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good luck to you. Though I don't know you personally, your posts have always reflected what a plucky, positive "glass half full" kind of girl you are.  Don't let these dfficult things change your perspective on life.  You will get through it and will emerge an even stronger person!
    Report Reply
  • wagnerdiwagnerdi
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    "Everything happens for a reason, some things fall apart just so others can fall together, but in the end what's meant to be will always find its way."
    After just meeting you a few months ago, I feel so terrible this is happening to such a nice girl. Best of luck with everything and I'm here if you need me for anything! Sent you a PM...
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • akmackayakmackay
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Becky- here's a hug. Not much more for me to say the others haven't, but I think Victoria's recommendation to go to the "Starting Over" board may be a good starting point for you. So sorry you are going through this- I know it's hard to be on here still, but we are all here to help you!
    *~allie~*

    Report Reply
  • NJgurl19NJgurl19 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_its-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:4c861c6c-2579-4f9e-b9ba-e9161ed36855Post:f94b8b71-a8a9-4820-ba39-b847da80765a">Re: It's over</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am so sorry that this has happened to you.  I will keep you in my prayers.  But this  may have been a blessing in disguise. I have full confidence you will bounce back!  Keep your chin up.
    Posted by Danes983[/QUOTE]

    Agree with this 100%, sorry this happened to you!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Heather822Heather822
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Becky my heart is breaking for you......
    It sounds such such a devastatingly hard thing to go through....
    all i can say is follow your heart ~ it won't lead you wrong.
    You'll be in my continued thoughts & prayers....
    BabyFetus Ticker

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Being married is a real thriller! =)

    Report Reply
  • berbmberbm member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear about this happening to you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hey Becky,

    So sorry to hear this.  Keep your head up and remember that the hardest thing and the best thing can be the same.  Try to keep yourself busy and let all of those emotions go into your shows!  Good luck, I know you'll be ok!
    Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker imageimage
    Report Reply
  • andreapnycandreapnyc member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    wow i am so sorry to hear all of this.  what is a little freaky is that i actually was thinking of you today and did a search on the board to see if you had posted anything recently.... 
    Try and stay positive and know that we are here for you.  Everything happens for a reason. 
    I will keep you in my prayers. 
    Report Reply
  • Laurms15Laurms15 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry this is happening in your life. I wish you all the best in the future and we are always here if you need us! HUGS!
    my bio ~Laurie~
    wedding websites
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow. So so sorry that you're going through this. I agree with many of the previous posts where you came across as a wonderful person.

    I know you're hearing it a million times but everything really does happen for a reason. And as horrible as it may be to say this but thankfully it happened now and not later.

    I trust you'll bounce back. What I simply read from you painted you as a strong, sweet and funny individual.

    Take care.
    Report Reply
  • viviannacviviannac member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Becky, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you.  I don't think I can say much more than the PP but stay strong and I wish you the very best.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. 
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm really sorry to hear this.  As a prosecutor I see lives destroyed every day from this and I'm sorry truly sorry it happened to you.  I hope some day this turn of events turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to you and you are able to make a new beginning.
    Report Reply
  • kasabbykasabby
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I really hope everything works out for you. I am so sorry this is happening. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Shand18Shand18
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear this.  I really can't add much that hasn't already been said.  I don't post a whole lot, but just from reading the posts here for months, you seem like a very genuine person, and I'm sorry that this has happened to you.  I'm sure it doesn't seem like it at all now, but it will all eventually work itself out, and you'll come through it a much stronger person. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    204 Invited image
    7 Ready to Celebrate! image
    1 Going to Miss The Fun image
    196 Making Us Wait image *RSVP Date April 25*
    Report Reply
  • Dina2011Dina2011
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I, like all the other women here, am so sorry for what you have had to deal with. In times like these, rely on those close to you who you can trust and who will forever be there to support you. This will definitely lead to bigger and better things. Hopefully you get through this as quick as you can and keep your head up! What does not kill you, only makes you stronger and this will do just that!

    All the best to you.
    The Soon-To-Be Thomas Family Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jcg98jcg98 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Ditto everything that has been said.  Remember "it's always darkest just before the dawn."  Stay strong, a lot of thoughts and prayers and positive vibes are with you!
    -Joanna
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
      
    Report Reply
  • gibribuzgibribuz member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this.  I truly wish you nothing but the best during this difficult time and remember that we are all here for you if you need anything. 
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • lmcit23lmcit23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Listen to the voice in your head your doing the right thing.  Best of luck to you.
    Report Reply
  • Reilly626Reilly626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You sound like too good of a person to deal with him and all that.. hang in there.. time will heal all wounds..
    Report Reply
  • Just JenJust Jen
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry... hang in there, and good luck
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards