Wedding Etiquette Forum

strapless ballgown in May?!?!

Hi ladies, I've posted this question on a few boards but I thought I'd ask one more time to make sure theres no etiquette reason that I can't wear a strapless ballgown in May. I was supposed to get married in August but then on Christmas my fiance and I realized we looked at the wrong calender so we had to move our wedding date up to May instead! Were having a small wedding in my fmil's backyard  and we only have a few out of town guests so I'm not worried about getting the planning donebut now she's saying I can't wear the strapless ballgown in May that I already paids for. I tried using google to look it up but I'm not very good with google I can never find what I'm looking for lol! Nobody on the dress board had heard of this, or on the May wedding board but I was just thinking my fmil has some wierd etiquette reason that i haven't heard of. I was telling her some f the answers I got before and she is kind've coming around but she still won't tell me whats wrong with a starpless ballgown in MAy, maybe she just doesn't like my dress lol! Still since its her back yard I don't want her to be angry, her yard is really pretty and perfect for my dream wedding but I want to wear my dream dress to! has anyoen heard of no strapless ballgowns in May?
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Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!

  • Why would you not be able to wear a strapless ball gown in May?
    panther
  • I wore a strapless in April.  Wear what you want and what looks/feels good on you. 
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  • Yeah, this doesn't make sense.  Has she told you her reasoning for this?  Maybe she just doesn't like strapless?  Is it a modesty thing?

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  • Unless your church has some rule against strapless gowns, I don't see the problem here.
  • Lol, I don't know whats wrong with it, she won't really tell me she just keeps saying No strapess ball gowns in May! I don't think its to fancy, it doesn't have a train or and beading or anything, its david's bridal style T8792, I got it on sale in september! She was ok with the dress when we were getting married in August but now she says its not OK for may, idk why! But I want her to be happy to, since it is her yard and also she even threatened that we couldn't use her yard but i think she won't really kick us out lol! Maybe its a polish thing, she was born in poland?!
  • Is it still really cold in May where you live? That's the only reason why I can think of as to why she'd say that. Even then, it's not right for her to say you CAN'T wear a strapless dress in May. I don't see any reason why you couldn't wear the dress in May, or any month for that matter. Just tell her that you already paid for and LOVE the dress and don't have the spare cash for another one. Do you think that will work? Do you think that she won't let you use her backyard if you still wear the dress?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:9b5c7c0b-d9f0-4ef6-9ce0-2122fc20b5f3">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lol, I don't know whats wrong with it, she won't really tell me she just keeps saying No strapess ball gowns in May! I don't think its to fancy, it doesn't have a train or and beading or anything, its david's bridal style T8792, I got it on sale in september! She was ok with the dress when we were getting married in August but now she says its not OK for may, idk why! But I want her to be happy to, since it is her yard and also she even threatened that we couldn't use her yard but i think she won't really kick us out lol! Maybe its a polish thing, she was born in poland?!
    Posted by billiestgoat[/QUOTE]

    Um, pretty sure if my FMIL told me "No strapless ball gowns in May" I'd tell her to go smoke a pole.  You're not telling her what to wear, and she can't dictate your effing wedding dress.  Wear what you want.  Sheesh.
    panther
  • I wore a strapless dress in May, and the Etiquette police didn't arrest me.  So, I'd say it's ok. 

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  • The only reason I can think of is that a ball gown is wasy too formal of a gown for a backyard wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:9e6957bd-b406-47b7-9652-96bc2a89b979">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only reason I can think of is that a ball gown is wasy too formal of a gown for a backyard wedding.
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    Yep -- but it's just as formal in August as it is in May, so I don't get it.  OP, I think this is one case in which you're entitled to do want you want 'cause it's your day. ;)
    image
  • I'm wearing a strapless ballgown in January...so if it's against etiquette in May then I must really be screwed. That being said, I agree with PPs that maybe she just thinks its too formal for a backyard wedding, but I wouldn't really hold to that. If it is the dress you want, then wear it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:766a2de4-9449-4195-98e3-8eda45c21058">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?! : Yep -- but it's just as formal in August as it is in May, so I don't get it.  OP, I think this is one case in which you're entitled to do want you want 'cause it's your day. ;)
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    Sure.

    But I got the impression that the August wedding was much more formal and the May backyard is the "new plan" based on date changes
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  • I got married in April and wore a strapless dress. I didn't give a damn who thought it was appropriate. Still don't. I wouldn't worry about it at all.
  • This is the dress and that's not me but I actually found this picture on google, lol! Is it to formal? I am not wearing a viel because I don't like things on my head.
  • i think its gorgeous and hardly too formal at all! maybe FMIL is going through a BSC phase, but she isn't getting married so she has to suck it up, a good friend of mine got told by her FMIL that if she went for a chocolate wedding cake FMIL wasn't going to come to the wedding and withdraw the ££ that she had promised to contribute, crazy in the head if you ask me.
  • I think the dress is pretty and very spring-y so completely appropriate.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:0e94830c-0cec-4945-8397-bdc09fea3032">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got married in June and my dress was strapless.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    Me too!  =-)
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  • Ok ladies thanks, I think I have enough ammunition now so she will have to come around! I don't know what BSC is but I think she was just in a wierd mood and was maybe suprised about moving the date up but she is excited about it now and i think she will get over the dress thing. I should probably get some work done now or my adviser will think that I am slacking off and yell at me for not finsihng up my calculations, lol! I don't know why wedding planning is harder then finishing my senior thesis!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:9e6957bd-b406-47b7-9652-96bc2a89b979">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only reason I can think of is that a ball gown is wasy too formal of a gown for a backyard wedding.
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    I was thinking that too, but since she was okay with it in August, where, if anything, it would be hotter and less formal...

    FWIW I wore a strapless ball gown in October.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:a2026a67-1416-4aa3-9439-9e9d5216da29">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know what BSC is
    Posted by billiestgoat[/QUOTE]

    bat sh*t crazy
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
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  • Strapless has nothing to do with etiquette. If you're going to have a casual park wedding in ball gown, though, people are going to give you the side eye.
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  • Bat sht crazy, lol! I've never heard that before but it sounds pretty crazy! I'm not very good with words you can probably tell lol, but I guess thats why I study math! Thanks again ladies and now I am really getting back to work!
  • Another voice chiming in that there is no etiquette rule that I am aware of that wouldn't allow a strapless dress in May but one in August.... and  if it helps I got married while it was snowing in a strapless dress

    I like your dress and think it would be a perfect spring, backyard garden wedding dress :)
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  • Someone on May 11 started a poll about it for her.
  • ...#1...that dress isn't a ball gown. It's A-line...when I think "ball gown" I think big poofy snowball...or something super formal, which your dress obviously is not.

    #2...you make my brain hurt.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strapless-ballgown-may?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50140789-fbdc-4158-bad4-a5f59a96973cPost:7cb5ade2-b8df-415a-aeee-5f703a5b06bb">Re: strapless ballgown in May?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wore a strapless dress in May, and the Etiquette police didn't arrest me.  So, I'd say it's ok. 
    Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

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  • There are some old-school guidelines about the formality of your wedding, time of day, and the style of dress that is appropriate, but the MONTH of the year is not part of those guidelines as far as I know, and frankly, I don't know anybody who follows the time of day "rules" either. 

    I think the dress you posted is fine.  I wore a strapless a-line dress for our outdoor wedding on May 8th of this year, and my own personal etiquette police (aka, my southern grandmother) didn't take issue with it. 
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  • If you were planning on wearing it in Dec. than why would May be a problem?

    Anyhooo, I got married in May and wore a strapless dress. It was about 80 degress that day too!
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  • Ball gown FAIL
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  • I'm in the middle on this one.  I think the dress is "casual" enough to work for a backyard wedding if well coordinated with other elements.  It's too dressy if you are doing a picnic type wedding, but if it's more formal (like a formal afternoon tea), the dress is perfectly appropriate, and, of course, your attendants need to be dressed accordingly. 

    I went to a backyard wedding a few years ago where the bride wore a strapless ball gown.  The food was strictly picnic - hamburgers, hot dogs and potato salad - and the attendants were dressed very casually to say the least.  The whole effect was mostly sad.  It was like the bride saying, "I wanted to wear my pretty dress, but couldn't afford a nice wedding to go with it."  Not the ambiance you want to create, and, perhaps, this is what your future mother-in-law is concerned about and may be having a hard time expressing.

    Incidentally, I thought lol meant "laughing out loud" so I'm not sure why your and many other posts need to be peppered with this rather trite acronym.
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