awkward bridal shower moment & TY letters

TuckerDeosdade · May 2010

I'm kind of astounded that she'd bring lingerie to a bridal shower! I've been to several lingerie parties for brides, but the invitations to those usually imply the theme (bra shaped invites, dirty decor, etc.) and everyone is in on the game. But I've never seen anyone bring lingirie to a "regular" bridal shower.

But I agree with everyone else, just write "Thank you for the lovely gifts! The dishes are beautiful and we can't wait to use them!" or something similar and sit back and hope she never mentions it ever, ever again.

nflanaga · May 2010

I think it's odd you haven't been to a shower which you don't receive personal items. I bet your FMIL was embarrassed that she was the only one to give you lingerie. She most likely felt comfortable giving you such a gift and you should feel comfortable enough to thank her for her thoughtfulness.

arffy916 · May 2010

I know this will happen to me in a way. My FMIL always gives brides not lingerie but an empty brown paper bag and says it's what you are supposed to wear on the wedding night. The last shower she went to she also gave the bride a pair of HUGE underwear and bra and told her it was for her 25th wedding anniversary. So it could have been worse! haha

My embarrasment is whether this will come at the shower given by my church ladies or the family/friends shower as she is invited to both and joked about doing it at the church shower.

As for your question, I agree with PP, Thank her for the gifts in general.

HyperChicaPR · May 2010

I wanted a lingerie shower for my bridal shower. I got mostly fun lingerie and underwear and a few houseware things. I figured we would get mostly house gifts for the wedding so why not have the shower be an opportunity for fun lingerie. It will be great for our wedding night and honeymoon. Just write a generic thank you and be excited for the money you'll have to spend on something really great when you exchange it.

chriskellythome · May 2010

I wouldn't sweat it! I would put a funny reply in the TY note. She obvioulsy has sense of humor or would not have done it. Be glad she has a fun spirit. She could be a total b!t@$ instead!!! (like mine)

shadowfish318 · May 2010

It really depends on your relationship... personally I would go with the "thanks this will def. help get you grandkids", but that's b/c of the relationship I have with my FMIL, she'd get a kick out of the response... and the fact that we already have a daughter together I would ask if this was her gentle was of asking for more

emma5w · May 2010

HA! Not only did I get some lingerie from my college roommate, but I also got "his and hers lube" from my step-sister! Thank GOD I actually looked at the package as I was unwrapping it rather than just tearing off the tissue paper and holding it up for the world to see (my mom, FMIL, sister, grandmother...)!!! I looked at it and was like, "Oh, um...yeah, I'll just put that back!" I only had 3 people come up to ask me what it was (all my BMs so I definitely told them). On the thank you note, I just wrote something generic like "thanks for the gifts" cuz she also gave me a really pretty plate to display in our home. [Yeah, random - a plate and lube!] But yeah, that was funny!

Jillerina21 · May 2010

I don't know if some of y'all having been living in a cave, but most brides have lingerie showers. It might be a little embarrassing to receive lingerie at a non-lingerie shower, where it would be unexpected, but I think it's a little silly to act like it was a terrible thing.

emailangela12 · May 2010

dont be offended by it - ive actually never been to a shower without a piece of lingere or something else thats "naughty" just write thank you for the dishes and the lingere - we'll be using them both! the gift was meant to be lighthearted and laughable, so joke back and don't lose any of the relationship over it

megmarissa · May 2010

I'm not afraid of my FMIL giving me those gifts but my aunts, mother, etc would do it just to see how much they could get me to turn red. HAHA we have a family that loves to play practical jokes on each other.... now the embarassing part would be if the bridal shower my mom's friends are throwing for me (half of which are my former middle school/high school teachers) give me anything like that. I think I would drop through the floor... for one of my mom's birthdays her best friend snuck into the house and put thongs in her drawer. Ugh... let the embarassment begin :P

ktweedt · May 2010

I kind of don't understand what all the embarrassment is about. EVERYONE knows you're going to be having sex with your husband. And clearly your moms and grandmothers, etc., have all done it. It's not like it's news. . .But I suppose if you're a normally shy person it could be disconserting. I wouldn't worry too much about it; probably it was meant in fun. I'm sort of surprised you didn't get MORE.

Alanda1318 · May 2010

In my family it is tradition for the Mother of the Bride to give lingeriefor the wedding night to the bride. I thought it was common I guess not! haha I have a very open family though... Most of my friends are shocked by what my mum and I talk to eachother about.

happywvgirl · May 2010

I think its not only common but appropriate to receive lingerie as shower gifts - providing that its tasteful. In fact, I was deeply disappointed that I didn't get one stitch of lingerie at my shower. So, I was delighted when my MOH told me she planned a lingerie shower/bachelorette party for me the night before the wedding. My mom, aunts, friends, FMIL and FSIL along with my future aunt, FG and Jr. Bridesmaids are all invited. Everyone is looking forward to it. It's going to be a good time to celebrate my upcoming marriage among friends and family.

denmar68 · May 2010

I'd lighten up if I were you. I will be a first time bride at age 43 next year and have been to (and been attendants) in MANY MANY weddings. Not ONE bridal shower have I been to did not have some sort of lingerie given as a gift! I sure hope I get some- the good stuff is expensive!:)

maelkins · May 2010

Diid you really think you were not going to get any lingerie at BRIDAL shower???????

cassie.prokop · May 2010

This situation happened to me at a bridal shower but I was the one who bought the lingerie and everyone else bought kitchen ware, household items, etc. I felt super awkward because the bride is a pretty sensuous person so I thought that would be the norm of the presents. Obliviously not! Also, there were a tons of kids there that were 10 and younger and I had no idea. I just rolled with it, she didn't make me feel bad or anything so I was grateful for that. I almost wish there was a way guests could know how the atmosphere of these are gonna be. Oh well...

morticia7867 · May 2010

Goheels- you crack me up! I LOL when I read your post

)

bridgeterdman · May 2010

All of the wedding/bridal showers I've been to the bride gets at least one piece of lingerie, I really doubt she's trying to be mean. I would probably laugh if my FMIL gave me something like that, which she probably will. Just say thanks for the gifts and that the dishes will be great! Don't take too much offense to it, you may put off a different vibe when you're around her instead of your traditional family and she thought it would be fun for both of you.

Titos#1girl · May 2010

I understand the embarrassment especially if you're naturally a private person like I am. I can also understand you feeling like a line has been crossed, very few people that I know discuss sex with their parents let alone their in-laws and lingerie can imply sex...especially if it's racy.

that being said, if your relationship is good, I don't think that your FMIL was trying to embarrass you but maybe make your relationship even closer since you will be her sons wife. The easiest thing is to thank her for it. Just call it lingerie in the card. You don't want to make any other awkward situations.

Good Luck

kayleighe · May 2010

wow! I'm sure your FMIL didn't mean anything by it, but what a faux pas! I've always been told that lingerie is only appropriate at showers that are specifically lingerie showers, and it's always indicated by the invitation. I can imagine that being embarrassing! I'm from a small town in the south and I would be horrified if my grandmother or ladies from the church saw me open up panties or something!

http://myidoityourselfwedding.blogspot.com/

nechi194 · May 2010

Calm down--I don't think there was any malice intended! I received lingerie from one of my grandmother's random elderly friends...It sounds like you have a MIL that is either REALLY COOL or OVERLY concerned with her son's happiness. But I would laugh it off and just thank her "for the lovely gifts" and that "you'll be doing a lot of 'cooking' with them."

My cousins actually asked my mom about having a someone come specifically to sell kinky stuff. I forget what the name was that they used...we decided against it because it would have been really weird. But to each his own; clearly this is a regular thing that people do in New Orleans.

mstockings · May 2010

I dont think that I have been to a shower where the bride has not gotten personal items...In your thankyou note just writer thankyou for the personal items they were very lovely.

hugz415 · May 2010

just thank her for the "lovely gifts".

and just remember it could have been worse....my FMIL once gave me a whole bag full of "gently used" lingerie...HERS. i am talking bright purple lace get-ups circa 1985. EWWWWWWWW! i was so embarrassed. needless to say I threw it all out and i couldnt even tell the FI for months bc i knew he would be mortified! we laugh about it all the time now.

jen0220 · May 2010

I only have one word that comes to mind when I read your post- how prude! Not rude on her part- prude on your part I would give anything to have a relationship with my FMIL where she would be cool enough to give me lingerie. Lingerie isn't about the actual sex- its about you feeling beautiful. Its about pampering you. Its about the tradition of the wedding night. Its not about you actually having sex. Shock and horror but some people where lingerie under their clothes because they like how it makes them feel rather than how it makes their partner feel! Sex isn't dirty. You shouldn't be embarassed about it- its not like she is going to be in the room instructing you! I think it was right on for her to get you that- I couldn't imagine more of a stamp of approval than that! Good for her.

princess213lbc · May 2010

Girl your getting married you shouldn't be embarrased about getting that as a gift...come one...I been to a lot of bridal showers and lingerie is always given as a gift...get over it...

luckyme502 · May 2010

At my SIL's shower, her grandmother gave her trashy lingerie. So, I wouldn't be offended.

BethBug1114 · May 2010

My very first bridal shower was "personal" shower, where all I got was lingerie and other personal care items ::cough cough:: It is a Northern tradition that I was introduced to in college.

My FMIL was there and bought me a beautiful white nighty to wear, knowing full and well what it would be used for. I'm not sure for the original poster of this topic, but my FMIL was excited to buy something like that for me, because she knew that if it was used for the wedding night, it would be used for my fiance, her son, and my first time "together."

Maybe your FMIL was just trying to show you how excited she is for you and your fiance to experience some of the perks of marriage.

But between ladies, lingerie should be fun right?

dmort · May 2010

Maybe it's just me... but every shower I've been to there's a few pieces of lingerie as gifts. I think a lot of people get something off the registry but I'd say at least 1/3 purchase lingerie. Personally - I'm looking forward to that! My fiance asked if I would get some and I told him that I probably would. He said 'Great! But please don't tell me who you got each piece from. It'll totally weird me out!" Ha ha!!
Seriously though - just thank her. Don't mkae it any more awkward for yourself. Just say "Thank you for your thoughtful gifts. It was great to have you at the shower and I look forward to you officially being my mother-in-law." Keep it short and sweet. No need to make it awkward!!

StellarEvents · May 2010

The following wording might be an option....
"Thank you for coming to the bridal shower and the gorgeous lingerie. Your sexy gift will give (insert husbeand's name) cause to say thanks as well."

"Thank you for coming to my bridal shower and the sexy lingerie. Now if you could just send me the courage to wear it. Seriously, your gift and fun-loving presence at the shower is really appreciated."

"Thank you for coming to my bridal shower and the (insert gift description). You really know how to make a memorable impression at a party and apparently, one-on-one, too. What else can be said!"

Best of luck!

awkward bridal shower moment & TY letters

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