What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.

StephBeanWed61502 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:5acd6807-ed6d-497e-9730-4cac971a2204">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : call it what you want :) i don't have time/patience for craziness and i never have. this is complete craziness to me. at this point, i don't even care if she comes. my FI wants her there.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter to you that it's important to your FI to have HIS MOTHER at his own wedding? Nice.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:f59a9b5b-6156-40b1-a1ea-1c40a183996c">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you invited people yet? It's a little unclear since you said you're working on the guest list but later you said you invited your cousin already. If you've already invited some people you still have to invite them, but if nothing formal has been planned or sent out go ahead and have a destination wedding! The farther away the less people you invite who will come.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

i haven't even picked out the invitations yet. we did the guest list trying to figure out how many invitations i was going to need and who we were definitely inviting. my cousins on my mom's side all know about my wedding because we announced our engagement and wedding date when we were in NY for my Grandparent's wedding anniversary party & thanksgiving. i'm thinking that my cousin (we'll call her Ashley) who's my cousin on both sides may have told some of my cousins on our dads side when we got back from NY. Ashley's down in Georgia with a lot of my dad's family (i moved to Michigain with my FI two years ago).

thurmanpowell · December 2012

Ahhh, gotcha.

In that case, as long as your FI is on board feel free to do the whole eloping thing!

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:179f0557-9d2d-420b-a697-a740b865fc82">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : It doesn't matter to you that it's important to your FI to have HIS MOTHER at his own wedding? Nice.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

because i'm tired of her acting like a baby? there's a reason i'm not having kids at my reception. my 4-year-old step daughter acts more like an adult than what the grandparents have been acting lately. i'm pretty sure as ugly as my parents divorce was (to the point their arguements resulted in a neighbor called the police on them more than once) and all the ugly custody battles (over me, my brother and sister) and they could get along for special events (my sister's wedding last year, my college graduation 2 years ago, my brother's high school graduation last year..) his parents can get along. i mean really, they've been divorved 22 years. get over it. it was his mother's fault the divorce even happened.

s-aries8990 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:19150e74-0371-49d9-a272-a9ab38f3dff2">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : this is CRAZY. even my FI's grandmother told his mother (her daughter) get over herself, it's been over 20 years! my FI is an adult and has a child of his own! i have a problem with she can't act like an adult for a few hours on one of the most important days in her ONLY CHILD's life, but she expects him to okay with all of her crazy antics. is it too late to un-invite her to the wedding?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

Maybe she has some sort of PTSD or coping problem. It is a little ridiculous that it's been so long and she can't control her actions, but tricking her is not going to make it better, it will make it worse.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:6aa47f4c-96eb-4e0a-bb03-dcc283179b47">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhh, gotcha. In that case, as long as your FI is on board feel free to do the whole eloping thing!
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

i'm definitely thinking this. we talked about doing a destination wedding in Puerto Rico in the beginning (with just our parents and siblings and very close friends), but had a concern about my stepdaughter's mother acting looney (she's one short bus ride away from the nut house too) about my stepdaughter being out fo the country for a week. but she agreed about letting my stepdaughter come to Georgia with us for the wedding.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:7cec08dd-faed-47b6-adf3-5d114c41a6bd">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : Maybe she has some sort of PTSD or coping problem. It is a little ridiculous that it's been so long and she can't control her actions, but tricking her is not going to make it better, it will make it worse.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

i know it's a bad idea. but i couldn't help myself but entertain the thought for a few hours in the beginning lol. i'll figure out something. either she can act llike an adult and get over herself, or just not come.

artbyallie · December 2012

What was the point of posting this if you're going to just reject everyone's input?

thurmanpowell · December 2012

I don't think she's rejected most people's input.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:0a284c94-cb85-4eed-863b-a468d960b687">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]What was the point of posting this if you're going to just reject everyone's input?
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

i didn't reject everybody's input lol. i knew i wasn't inviting the crazy cousins. but i'm double checking myself to make sure i'm not wrong for leaving certain people out.

as far as my MIL and my mother, some suggestions have been great that i could definitely try. some of them are far out.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:6a8549af-85bb-4682-8c23-aefcd04cc164">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think she's rejected most people's input.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

thank you! :) i didn't think so either.

s-aries8990 · December 2012

If she's going to act like a baby, thats on his mother. It's her problem to deal with, and if she can't deal with it, she knows enough to remove herself. Have FI tell her how much he wants her there but understands if she can't trust herself to act appropriately. If she's been acting "childish" until now, then nothing you do will really change that, now will it? It's like setting up a child for a temper tantrum, giving them a toy, telling them it's all theirs, and then brining in the bully and saying they have to share. Now, who in this case (FMIL or FFIL) is the "bully"? IDK, I don't know what happened in their divorce but there is probably a REASON she is acting this way (even if it's just she's too emotional, can't get over it). Maybe give her a card to a therapist you know of to see if she wants to work out some of her issues before the wedding. If you come at it from a place of caring rather than a place of blame she MAY be more likely to respond reasonably.

As for your mother, tell her to re-do her guest list. You said you shredded it. If she gives you a large one again, just make cuts and send her the revised list with your cuts. Keep going through the revision process until she gets it or until you send out invites, which ever one comes first.

And as for the cousins, don't invite them. If you're not close with them and have no correspondance with them, there is no reason for them to be there.

artbyallie · December 2012

It just seems like anything that gets suggested that OP wasn't already planning to do, she has an excuse for.

"Can I just change my mind and do a destination wedding?"

"Sure, go for it."

"But I shouldn't have to."

thurmanpowell · December 2012

She shouldn't have to.

I didn't take that to mean that she was challenging any advice, just that she was venting (as the title says).

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:bc0fd7c1-5346-4ec8-a068-233da871ac8f">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]If she's going to act like a baby, thats on his mother. It's her problem to deal with, and if she can't deal with it, she knows enough to remove herself. Have FI tell her how much he wants her there but understands if she can't trust herself to act appropriately. If she's been acting "childish" until now, then nothing you do will really change that, now will it? It's like setting up a child for a temper tantrum, giving them a toy, telling them it's all theirs, and then brining in the bully and saying they have to share. Now, who in this case (FMIL or FFIL) is the "bully"? IDK, I don't know what happened in their divorce but there is probably a REASON she is acting this way (even if it's just she's too emotional, can't get over it). Maybe give her a card to a therapist you know of to see if she wants to work out some of her issues before the wedding. If you come at it from a place of caring rather than a place of blame she MAY be more likely to respond reasonably. As for your mother, tell her to re-do her guest list. You said you shredded it. If she gives you a large one again, just make cuts and send her the revised list with your cuts. Keep going through the revision process until she gets it or until you send out invites, which ever one comes first. And as for the cousins, don't invite them. If you're not close with them and have no correspondance with them, there is no reason for them to be there.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

the bottom line is she needs to get it together. FI told her she needs to get over herself or do everybody a favor and just stay in Michigain while the rest of us are in Georgia for the wedding.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:21fc26ea-34b2-4712-929b-351d80fac12d">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]It just seems like anything that gets suggested that OP wasn't already planning to do, she has an excuse for. "Can I just change my mind and do a destination wedding?" "Sure, go for it." "But I shouldn't have to."
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

first of all, i shouldn't have to do a damn thing. it's MY wedding, they should cooperating with my FI and myself. everybody is all in THEIR feelings about it instead of foucing on us. i shouldn't have to treaty my mother and my MIL like children about the situation. i shouldn't have to second guess my happiness. i should be ablt to plan my wedding smoothly and be happy. and for real, for real, i can change my mind if i wanted to. i do what i want, i always have and i always will. i simply said that a destination is sounding more appealing to me now after all the drama with both mama's.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:e0b8eacd-b403-4582-aa4e-8f0de26c935b">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]She shouldn't have to. I didn't take that to mean that she was challenging any advice, just that she was venting (as the title says).
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

thank you! it seems to me that she has nothing better than to pick apart whatever i say.

s-aries8990 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:cee4de2a-9481-4dc2-9466-00740ad03da0">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : the bottom line is she needs to get it together. FI told her she needs to get over herself or do everybody a favor and just stay in Michigain while the rest of us are in Georgia for the wedding.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

Bottom line- its not your mother, it's his. Your attitude towards her seems very combative. I don't know your relationship with her, but try and approach her with a bit of sympathy. Just lay out the scenario and she can make her own decisions. You can't force someone like that into any position.

Reference this discussion: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bitterly-divorced-parents-advice-wanted-please">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bitterly-divorced-parents-advice-wanted-please</a>

It feels mighty similar

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:686c1e32-95b0-435e-9762-1b155ca9ca14">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : Bottom line- its not your mother, it's his. Your attitude towards her seems very combative. I don't know your relationship with her, but try and approach her with a bit of sympathy. Just lay out the scenario and she can make her own decisions. You can't force someone like that into any position. Reference this discussion: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bitterly-divorced-parents-advice-wanted-please">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bitterly-divorced-parents-advice-wanted-please</a> It feels mighty similar
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

again, she was the cause of the divorce 22 years ago. i don't understand why she's even still bitter/emotional/bitter or whatever about it. i get it can be a sensitive issue. however, i need her to act like a grown up for one day or act like a child and don't come at all. it's that simple. i refuse for craziness to be happening at my wedding. those are her two choices. she's not paying for anything, i am. i make the rules.

thurmanpowell · December 2012

While I agree with you that you should let your FMIL dictate, I also think you should let your FI handle his own mother. That way you don't step in between their relationship and you don't get sucked into any drama. From here on out, I would just direct her to speak to your FI about this.

I know it's hard to ignore it right now but as you get further into wedding planning you will be stressing out about so many other seemily random things that you'll be glad you didn't take it upon yourself to fix this.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:a10a2252-5e33-4411-83ac-72d2cce9ca6f">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]While I agree with you that you should let your FMIL dictate, I also think you should let your FI handle his own mother. That way you don't step in between their relationship and you don't get sucked into any drama. From here on out, I would just direct her to speak to your FI about this. I know it's hard to ignore it right now but as you get further into wedding planning you will be stressing out about so many other seemily random things that you'll be glad you didn't take it upon yourself to fix this.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

him and i talked a little bit about this just now. i told him that his mother had the two options of growing up or not coming. he agreed. when she brings my stepdaughter over later, i guess that's when he'll talk to her. i mean if his dad can act like an adult, she can too.

and my mom re-did her guest list. i guess she decided that 45 people was better. i definitely just hit delete on that email and told her she has one more time to get it right. i'm not playing. i'm irritated, my inner bi*ch is starting to come out and this can get really ugly if it comes completely out. like, did my mother NOT learn anything when my sister got married 3 years ago? she tried manipulating that whole thing (because my dad was paying for the wedding and she had it twisted her mind that she was going to order everybody else around, and my parents had been divorced like 7 or 8 years at that point) and that quickly backfired in her face (my sister ended up running to vegas and got married).

thurmanpowell · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:0ab91912-ad0c-4d57-9fbd-c9bbc53b7475">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : him and i talked a little bit about this just now. i told him that his mother had the two options of growing up or not coming. he agreed. when she brings my stepdaughter over later, i guess that's when he'll talk to her. i mean if his dad can act like an adult, she can too. and my mom re-did her guest list. i guess she decided that 45 people was better. i definitely just hit delete on that email and told her she has one more time to get it right. i'm not playing. i'm irritated, my inner bi*ch is starting to come out and this can get really ugly if it comes completely out. like, did my mother NOT learn anything when my sister got married 3 years ago? she tried manipulating that whole thing (because my dad was paying for the wedding and she had it twisted her mind that she was going to order everybody else around, and my parents had been divorced like 7 or 8 years at that point) and that quickly backfired in her face (my sister ended up running to vegas and got married).
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

Do you know your mother's closest friends? I would just choose the 10 closest and invite them and be done with it. That way she can't say you didn't invite and of her friends but you don't have to go back and forth about it. Do tell her which 10 you choose though so she doesn't accidently invite other people.

KellyBrian2013 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:0ab91912-ad0c-4d57-9fbd-c9bbc53b7475">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : him and i talked a little bit about this just now. i told him that his mother had the two options of growing up or not coming. he agreed. when she brings my stepdaughter over later, i guess that's when he'll talk to her. i mean if his dad can act like an adult, she can too. and my mom re-did her guest list. i guess she decided that 45 people was better. i definitely just hit delete on that email and told her she has one more time to get it right. i'm not playing. i'm irritated, my inner bi*ch is starting to come out and this can get really ugly if it comes completely out. like, did my mother NOT learn anything when my sister got married 3 years ago? she tried manipulating that whole thing (because my dad was paying for the wedding and she had it twisted her mind that she was going to order everybody else around, and my parents had been divorced like 7 or 8 years at that point) and that quickly backfired in her face (my sister ended up running to vegas and got married).
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4[/QUOTE]

You sound like a peach.

What exactly have you told your mother in regards to giving you a guest list? (I admit, I did not read the entire thread carefully to see if this has already been answered.)

If you told her to give you a list of people she would like to have invited, she's perfectly within her right to give you a list of 45+ people. That doesn't mean you have to invite all of those people. If you're frustrated with her long lists, tell you, "Mom, I'm sorry but we cannot invite that many more people. We have # of invites designated for your friends. Please let me know which # friends you would like me to send them to."

Done.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:3d3b529f-38b0-4135-84b9-3e68c7cfcb84">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : Do you know your mother's closest friends? I would just choose the 10 closest and invite them and be done with it. That way she can't say you didn't invite and of her friends but you don't have to go back and forth about it. Do tell her which 10 you choose though so she doesn't accidently invite other people.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

i do know her friends. which is why i don't want them there. they caused problems at my sister's wedding last year. she needs new friends honestly. i was expecting her to invite people like this woman who is my God mother. (i honestly don't know her name. i've met her all of 3 times in my life.)

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:0fb54243-2133-4a47-8a3f-816dfc60df38">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : You sound like a peach. What exactly have you told your mother in regards to giving you a guest list? (I admit, I did not read the entire thread carefully to see if this has already been answered.) If you told her to give you a list of people she would like to have invited, she's perfectly within her right to give you a list of 45+ people. That doesn't mean you have to invite all of those people. If you're frustrated with her long lists, tell you, "Mom, I'm sorry but we cannot invite that many more people. We have # of invites designated for your friends. Please let me know which # friends you would like me to send them to." Done.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

bless your heart. i'm a Georgia Peach :)

she got the same rules that my in-laws got, 10 people (10 for my MIL and 10 for my FIL). combined, my MIL and FIL want to invite 10 people to the wedding. the first list she gave me had 50 people on it, 30 of them i have NEVER met or even heard of. and only 20 of their names sounded familiar, and i still wasn't really sure if i had met all 20 of the familiar names. out of those 20 people who's names were familiar, there were 7 who were ABSOLUTELY NOT invited. i told her she had until the end of January to get it together, or none of her friends are invited. point blank.

KellyBrian2013 · December 2012

Then why give your mother the opportunity to invite her friends if you know that the majority of them you do not care for and do not want there? Just sounds like you are inviting drama/trouble with her.

... but then, from the majority of your posts, you seem to feed on it, so maybe that was your intention.

phoebeann44 · December 2012

I don't have a lot of advice on the drama but I was just going to say that if your stepdaughter's mother doesn't want her leaving the country for a week then you could always have a DW in the US, there are plenty of beautiful beaches within our borders!

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:57ecfa1e-faee-4c8d-8365-8205d5ff72bd">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : Why do you keep saying that? How do you know?
Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

things that my FI remembers. his father's side of the story, he actually tried defending her, but that didn't work too well lol. his mother damn near admitted it two years ago. like i said, the divorce was over 20 years ago. she's not over it evidently (funnier part is she actually is engaged to somebody else now!) and she doesn't want to put her big girl panties on & act like an adult. that doesn't work for me.

my FI talked to her when she brought my stepdaughter over this evening. she actually said to him "Well, why does your father have be invited?" smh. This is what's been going on all along.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:05167b9f-e216-4e0a-95f1-cce07e558178">Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]Then why give your mother the opportunity to invite her friends if you know that the majority of them you do not care for and do not want there? Just sounds like you are inviting drama/trouble with her. ... but then, from the majority of your posts, you seem to feed on it, so maybe that was your intention.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

bless your little heart! :)

she was given the chance to invite people that i forgot basically and she knew it. for example, i have Two God Mothers (my aunt & some lady my mom was friends with who was engaged to my uncle back then) & 1 God Father (my uncle). i talk to my uncle one a week & me and his kids are super close. i was really close to my aunt especially after mybparents divorce and she unfortunately died from Breast Cancer at the end of my sophmore year of high school. the lady my uncle was engaged to, i've NEVER had a relationship with and don't even remember her name 90% of the time. i think i've met her all of 3 times in my whole life and each time, my mother has had to point her out to me and actually introduce me. i honestly don't even know what this lady looks like. so i always forget her. i told my mother to invite people like the God mother & her husband, (i think she's married?) and i didn't put my Great-Grandmother on the original list due to her health and i know she isn't well enough to fly (she's still in Puerto Rico) and id Mom wanted to go there, she could. that is what her, my FIL and MIL were supposed to do. my in-laws did. she did not.

MrsJoshuaParker4 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-do-i-do-ventkind-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4eb9540e-5aa8-4f88-a666-8bd5c99248c2Post:5bfb5c9d-ac8a-4a80-bc2e-0ab1b43b970f">Re:What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have a lot of advice on the drama but I was just going to say that if your stepdaughter's mother doesn't want her leaving the country for a week then you could always have a DW in the US, there are plenty of beautiful beaches within our borders!
Posted by phoebeann44[/QUOTE]

we actually live in Michigain (for the time being). i was born (Savannah) & raised (Fayetteville/Peachtree City) in Georgia. our wedding is in a really nice Spa/Resort beach in Brunswick (outside of Savannah) in GA. this is pretty much our destination weddibg lol. but thank you for the thought :)

What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.

Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.

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