CN: Mom and dad divorced, mom refuses to associate with ex family, I am in the middle CONSTANTLY and now Mom is mad at me.
Back story: My parents divorced 3 years ago in a bitter nasty mess that still steams and smolders to this day. My just turned 21 yr old brother lives with mom and works in same place as dad. They can't be within 10 miles without all hell breaking loose. Everytime I do anything with my dad's side of the family, according to her: it is bad, not good for my son, not the people I want my child to associate with, they hate her, etc except for the few she always wants me to pass her t & p's to. She has already expressed disinterest and disgust that some of those people will be invited to the wedding (she is not paying for any of it).
My brother got a Christmas card from an aunt on dads side addressed to him and not including her, at their home. She spent ten minutes b!tching at me about it on the phone about how it was a "slap in the face" and "rude and uncalled for". I however didn't receive a Christmas card from same aunt, nor do I feel slighted in this. I asked her what she wants me to do, defend them? I told her she makes me feel like I have to cut off the people I have known and loved and have supported me for the last 23 years because they got divorced? She hung up on me after telling me she wouldn't be associating with any of them at all, whether I was there or not, and how rude I was to have such blatant disregard for her feelings and that I didn't allow her to have any feelings.
I am so fed up with all of this, that I might, in reality, have to throw two receptions, one for dad's side and one for my mom's side. How am I supposed to do this? FI's side could care less and probably would attend both. They worked out their drama years ago.
WWYD? Am I really being a selfish brat in wishing that adults could set things aside and move on and stop acting like third-graders?