How Many Attendants for "older bride" second wedding?

Blisjak · January 2010

I am thinking we should keep the attendants down to one or 2 each, if any. Any thoughts out there? The wedding ceremony will be on a pier and reception in a tent next to the water. Hopefully a nice, relaxed yet fun celebration. Any other 2nd wedding gals or "older brides" would be great to talk with!

KST_ · January 2010

Really, I look at it as who you want standing next to you. Then again, I'm not one who agrees to be penned in by etiquette police.

However, that said, I personally feel more than 3 for any wedding starts being a bit much and kind of crazy. My mother had 2 when she married my stepfather, just her sister and me.

karebear219 · January 2010

I think one or two is a good number for a second wedding, but like KST I don't know what the ediquette is.

jennuinne · January 2010

Personally, I think none, or one, unless its family. My mom, had none at her second wedding. My step-mom just had my and her daughter, as far as I can remember. I'm not having any, and most of my 30ish friends that have gotten married recently haven't had any. But, then again, its your wedding and you can do what you want to.

melissa82 · January 2010

I don't think there's any "rules" about your specific number. If you feel close to three or four women who you'd want to stand up for you, don't feel like you need to limit it to just two because of your age. It's an important role in your life no matter when it happens! Though I imagine as we get older in life, there are just fewer people with whom we remain so close to, which may be why they tend to be smaller.

I think the more age-related question is bridesmaid attire. Most typical bridesmaids' dresses may not look "right" on older women (IMO). I think I would lean more toward letting them select their own dresses in similar or complimentary colors.

carrieoz_76 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_many-attendants-older-bride-second-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:6ce9ef37-3a48-4313-b9d2-4fe3b18d28e0Post:b9a85545-4bfc-4d80-86eb-f90e2c0dff2f">Re: How Many Attendants for "older bride" second wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]and most of my 30ish friends that have gotten married recently haven't had any. Posted by jennuinne[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh please don't tell me that 30something = "older bride"!! I'm not ready for that.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't think there's much ettiquette on this, other than just don't be crazy about it. But then I'm not a big fan of huge WPs the first time around either. If you have a BM who's a sister or daughter and another who's a best friend, I wouldn't give that a side-eye at all, no matter how old you were.</div><div>
</div><div>If you'd like more detailed discussion of Second Weddings, there's a TK board devoted to them here - <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings</a></div>

dbraulik · January 2010

I'm 37 and this is my second wedding. We are having one attendant each. My best friend and FI brother. It's who we are closest to and who we want to "stand up" with us. As others have said, I don't think there are any set rules. Just follow your gut and go with what feels right.

Feel free to PM me anytime.

Tygirljojo · January 2010

I agree with PPs. No real set rules, but IMO 1-2 max each would be best. FWIW, when FFIL remarried to Future-stepmom-in-law (FSMIL??) I know FI was FFIL's one attendant/best man. Not sure if his stepmom had anyone as attendants, but if she did it likely was her two daugthers.

Welcome and congrats!

jennuinne · January 2010

I didn't mean that 30ish was an older bride, just that I think its more common to not have attendants these days.

carrieoz_76 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_many-attendants-older-bride-second-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:6ce9ef37-3a48-4313-b9d2-4fe3b18d28e0Post:68a05d0c-41b3-4113-a9a5-3f85f9873c17">Re: How Many Attendants for "older bride" second wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't mean that 30ish was an older bride, just that I think its more common to not have attendants these days.
Posted by jennuinne[/QUOTE]
Ok, whew! Thanks for that!

darby0422 · January 2010

I'm an older/2nd bride and didn't have any. A couple of my friends got married last year and had four. That being said, I don't think it matters.....just do what you want and what makes you happy! I think it makes a difference how many guests you have and the style of your wedding more that what the rules say, but that's just me! Good luck with whatever you choose!

crakd · January 2010

this is my second wedding, and i'm 37. i had 1 bridesmaid at my first wedding, and i'm having four this time. i'm just blessed with a wonderful group of supportive friends, and we're having a blast. it's nice to give them a special role and have them by my side on the big day!

there is ZERO reason why a second wedding has to be "smaller" than your first. do what feels right and celebrate!!

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