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Wedding Woes
Ex drama?
I have a son from a previous relationship and we're having a heck of a time getting my ex to agree to let my son be in my wedding. My wedding is on my ex's weekend, because the date has special significance for us. My ex wants us to move our date instead of just switching weekends this one time. Anyone have similar problems with an ex?
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Re: Ex drama?
This is a 'you' problem, not really an 'ex' problem. Either plan your wedding for the date that's special to you with the knowledge that your son may not be there because his dad won't switch or plan it for one of your weekends. What's more special to you? The date or your son being there.
Do what you can to change your date. In the future, you know to check your custody agreement or calendar before you finalize a date to ensure that your son can be present. That's the reality of co-parenting with an ex. Yes it stinks that your ex isn't more flexible, but it may be the case that he can't switch weekends and if you have court-mandated or approved custody schedule, he is likely not obligated to switch.
[QUOTE]I appreciate all the advice. My thoughts were the same about switching my date, hence my second post about already being in the process of trying yo move the date. I suppose it's unreasonable to expect strangers to understand my frustration when you don't know my story. How I raised my son solo for four years until ex got a new gf then suddenly needed to be a model father and jumped in to parenting, how we compromised great until they moved in together then he took me to court and drained my savings for absolutely nothing to change. <strong>Now he won't communicate, he has lied to me about where my son is among other things and uses my son to send messages to me, extremely innappropriate.</strong> So I will continue to be frustrated about this and I will continue to try and move my date because my son is my life but sometimes you have to vent about the bs.
Posted by Audraann0604[/QUOTE]
If this is the case and you have documentation, you need to take him back to court because it is inappropriate and probably violating your custody order. However, that's completely separate from your wedding.
If you've really had this difficult of a relationship with your ex, why in the heck did you think he'd be hunky-dory with you planning a wedding on a weekend that fell during his parenting time?
[QUOTE]that costs a ton of money, mrs conn. He gave me two days notice my son was in a wedding on my weekend last year and just yook him barely with my permission, so yeah, i'm asking for the favor to be returned.
Posted by Audraann0604[/QUOTE]
I know how much family court costs. However, if my child's whereabouts were being withheld from me and/or he was being used as a messenger for inappropriate messages or mindgames, then I'd sure as hell have my butt back in court getting things amended.
Two 'wrongs' don't make a right. You could have told him that you did not have apporpriate notice regarding the wedding last year and therefore you could not accommodate his request. Unfortunately, the 'back scratching' is not going to go both ways. So don't do it anymore.
And again, if he's not going to budge on your wedding weekend, you have two choices: get married without your son or change the date.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ex drama? : I know how much family court costs. However, if my child's whereabouts were being withheld from me and/or he was being used as a messenger for inappropriate messages or mindgames, then I'd sure as hell have my butt back in court getting things amended. Two 'wrongs' don't make a right. You could have told him that you did not have apporpriate notice regarding the wedding last year and therefore you could not accommodate his request. Unfortunately, the 'back scratching' is not going to go both ways. So don't do it anymore. And again, if he's not going to budge on your wedding weekend, you have two choices: get married without your son or change the day
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]<div><span style="white-space:pre;" class="Apple-tab-span"> </span></div><div>I'm very glad for you that you have thousands of dollars at your disposal. Did you know that what I have on my ex isn't enough to change a damn thing? You basically have to have physical harm to the child to lessen any previously standing custody agreements. So your argument is noble, but ineffective. Have you ever been in a custody case yourself?</div><div>
</div><div>Again, I am fully aware of my choices and for the third time would like to draw to your attention that I am in the process of trying to move my date and was in that process before posting. I did not ask for advice in OP. This post was to see if any other brides had any similar issues with exes and weddings. Surely this forum can't be all first time blushing brides with no kids, exes' or pasts</div><div>
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