Bridal Shower

farmgirl8806 · May 2010

I wasn't sure where to put this, so this is where I chose. My sisters wanted to know what kind of bridal shower I want (Tupperware, Pampered Chef, non-registered gifts, money, etc.). I looked at the Pampered Chef and Tupperware and decided there's only a few items from both sites that I truly want, so having a party for one of them would be pointless for me. I don't want people to purchase items off our gift registry because there isn't much on them anyways. One sis suggested an all money shower or that they don't even tell guests where we are registered at and have them bring anything they want. What kind of bridal shower have you guys had or are going to have? I thought I should come up with an idea or two to give my sisters, but I want to hear about some other ideas that maybe people are doing. Thank you.

emarston1 · May 2010

The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, not envelopes of money. If you don't need anything, don't have a shower - it's that simple

Even if I didn't really "need" anything, I would still register for some upgrades - towels, sheets, appliances, etc. I think it would be better to pick the few gifts I wanted than leave it randomly up to your guests.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2010

Ditto about the money shower. You can also just decline a shower completely if you don't want gifts.

debdebdol · May 2010

Personally, I wouldn't go to a money shower. I would feel obligated to give a generous amount of money. I would prefer to go to Bed Bath & Beyond and buy something that I think the bride and groom could use.

lisarose7 · May 2010

Either register for more stuff or don't give registry information so your guests can buy you whatever. Telling shower guests to give you cash is tasteless and rude.

However, I'm pretty sure you're the same person who was all over the boards a few months back trying to find a "dollar dance alternative" so you could scam money off your guests in new but equally tacky ways. This tells me that you'll probably ignore our advice and have your sisters tell the shower guests to just give you money.

Kristin&eric · May 2010

what about a lingiere( I dont know how to spell it) shower. I know with BB&B that you can return stuff and get money or something, or target, you can always find stuff at target

kee80 · May 2010

Who says you need a 'type' of shower? For mine, people either bought things off of the registries, or something they found on their own. I got some really lovely things, and it was much less stress on both me & the guests!

felicia220 · May 2010

I also had a very limited registry, we already had a lot of stuff we needed. My mom threw a casino theme shower, and I didn't open my gifts there. Everyone just drank, gambled and danced. It was great, but the best part was that my entire registry was bought and those who did get from the registry gave cash. People will get the hint from a limited registry that you have what you need and will most likely give money. I wish people would stop thinking that just because they have a limited registry that they have to do something else to make-up for it. You don't, have your shower and enjoy it. And you will get what you get.

angela72023 · May 2010

A lot of times if you have a small registry, people can still look at it and see what your style is and go from there...it's better than not knowing anything about how you decorate and having to guess! I personally always buy off of the registry and when there wasn't one, I ended up buying a selection of candles from an upscale boutique in our area, which are nice, but not something you will have for long...

andy71781 · May 2010

I did a lingerie shower at my bach party - it was super super fun. I made a "gift list" at Victoria's Secret via my MOH and people picked off of that or went a different route.

justmauied2010 · May 2010

another option is a lingerie party... u allwear it to the party and order it and bring gifts of it to you and jus sit around drink wine and chit chat play games. another option for this is they could just do the party that way everyone just dress up really nice that way its not so awkward if you have those friends that a r a lil heavier set. Anyways thats what we are thinking of doing for mine. Its not for everyone and you ahve to be really close with the few girls you do with it.. But good luck!

Ashly018 · May 2010

I'm having more of a "hey lets just get together and have a good time" bridal shower. If people bring a gift they bring one, if they don't well then that's fine too. When I was discussing it with my mom, aunt, and MOH they were thinking of theme ideas, which are fun, but I don't really want gifts that might reflect that theme (ie hat's or golf). So the decision was made that we just want to have fun and laugh, gifts are great and all, but beings that my fiance and I both already have complete households, we don't NEED much, anything we may need we registered for the wedding for...

SarahPLiz · May 2010

Asking for cash is rude, IMO. Guilting people into buying something from a specific vendor who is right there in their face is just as rude (Tupperware, Pampered Chef, etc). I think that any form of DICTATING the type of gift is just plain rude.

If you don't want people to buy off your registry, then I don't understand why you have one.

If you want a shower, let them know where you are registered. If the registry items are all taken, I bet the other people will use the registry as a guide to your tastes and will pick something else appropriate. If you don't want gifts, then don't have a shower.

SarahPLiz · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridal-shower-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:24ba1e8f-3cf4-48aa-89e1-aa7aecbf1063Post:e0914027-f0e7-4740-94c2-1876076c7380">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]another option is a lingerie party... u allwear it to the party and order it and bring gifts of it to you and jus sit around drink wine and chit chat play games. another option for this is they could just do the party that way everyone just dress up really nice that way its not so awkward if you have those friends that a r a lil heavier set. Anyways thats what we are thinking of doing for mine. Its not for everyone and you ahve to be really close with the few girls you do with it.. But good luck!
Posted by justmauied2010[/QUOTE]

i'm sorry, but sitting around in lingerie with a bunch of women just sounds creepy to me, whether they are heavy set or not. And not everyone is into having someone else buying their intimates. That's why they are called intimates..

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

I've heard of lingerie showers where everyone gives the bride lingerie, but never never NEVER one where everyone attends in lingerie. Unless you're a Playboy bunny or something. That's one of the strangest things I've ever heard here, and I've heard some doozies.

I personally wouldn't attend a Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Mary Kay, or any other sort of party like that. They make me really uncomfortable. The point of attending a shower is to watch the bride open gifts. Boxed gifts, not envelopes of money. If there's absolutely nothing that you want, then decline the shower.

Though lisarose called it correctly: you've made it abundantly clear that your only interest in the wedding is to shake down your guests for as much money as possible, so you might as well use your shower as a warning to your guests for how the wedding is going to go.

AshleyNC2010 · May 2010

My mom planned a suprise shower with my family 2 weeks back. We decided not to register because when we bought our house last year we bought everything new that we needed. We were not planning on getting married then so if we needed something we went out and got it. Even though it wasn't much cause we both lived on our own before. So the people that came just gave stuff they thought I would like or could use and it worked out just fine!!

My MOH asked what I wanted for a shower/stagette with my firends. I told them anything but going to the bar dressed like an idiot would be great!! lol... I think they are planning a lingerie shower/ stagette. Doing the home party showers are extremely popular in my area. I personally think they are a great Idea, I've been to them before. I'd rather get the bride something she wants then something she already has or doesn't want. Just my opinion!!

trix1223 · May 2010

I suggest that you just charge a cover fee for any and all pre-wedding and wedding events, because it sure seems like you're in this for the $$.

Your prior post about finding ways to raise money at your reception~having guests pay to have their picture taken with you comes to mind~and now this.....I have no words.

FWIW: I would decline a sales event no matter how artfully you try to pretend it's a shower. LIkewise, a lingerie shower.....particularly where I'M expected to sit around in lingerie....are you freakin' kidding me?

And I would decline any fundraiser, again no matter artfully you try to pretend it's a shower.

Please. Have a shower if you want one. But don't have a fundraiser for any part of your wedding. It's just tasteless beyond measure.

farmgirl8806 · May 2010

We have registered for a lot of stuff that we already have so that we can get it new. We registered for 100 items at Target and maybe 50 at TrueValue, and we have 400 guests. Most of the stuff we want/need are large expensive things (outdoor furniture, etc.), and although we registered for a few of the, I feel bad for registering for them because people don't need to spend a bunch of money for one gift. There may be multiple families that go together to purchase a gift for us. If we got lots of money, we could put it towards more of those larger items and landscaping for our house.

Somebody on my local board suggested a time themed bridal shower where basically a certain time (6:00 PM, 11:00 AM, etc.) are put in each invitation and the guest buys an item that goes with that time. EX: A guest with 7:00 AM may buy slippers. I thought that was a clever idea, so that is one suggestion I can give my sisters. The lingerie, etc. shower where people bring that kind of stuff is a good idea, but grandmas, moms, aunts, etc. will be there so I wouldnt feel comfortable with that. Thanks for the idea though.

My sisters are the ones that suggested the money bridal shower because then I could put the money towards the little bit of Tupperware that I do want, which is just a couple of groups of several items that you have to purchase together (the reason a Tupperware shower would be silly). Tupperware and Pamper Chef showers are very popular around here. If they gave me a wedding shower then they probably wouldn't have me open the envelopes, and we would just play lots of games and eat lots of food instead (which we will do anyways

). I don't know exactly how it would all work; afterall, it wasn't even my idea.

I just had a thought... Ever heard of a shower where people brought gifts only for a specific room (bathroom, yard, etc.)? I don't know, it just randomly popped into my head. lol I'm just trying to get ideas to give to my sisters so that they can make a decision about it.

trix1223 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridal-shower-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:24ba1e8f-3cf4-48aa-89e1-aa7aecbf1063Post:ba992f89-a6e9-40f9-9936-5f6df95a8bf0">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]We have registered for a lot of stuff that we already have so that we can get it new. We registered for 100 items at Target and maybe 50 at TrueValue, and we have 400 guests. Most of the stuff we want/need are large expensive things (outdoor furniture, etc.), and although we registered for a few of the, I feel bad for registering for them because people don't need to spend a bunch of money for one gift. There may be multiple families that go together to purchase a gift for us. If we got lots of money, we could put it towards more of those larger items and landscaping for our house. Somebody on my local board suggested a time themed bridal shower where basically a certain time (6:00 PM, 11:00 AM, etc.) are put in each invitation and the guest buys an item that goes with that time. EX: A guest with 7:00 AM may buy slippers. I thought that was a clever idea, so that is one suggestion I can give my sisters. The lingerie, etc. shower where people bring that kind of stuff is a good idea, but grandmas, moms, aunts, etc. will be there so I wouldnt feel comfortable with that. Thanks for the idea though. My sisters are the ones that suggested the money bridal shower because then I could put the money towards the little bit of Tupperware that I do want, which is just a couple of groups of several items that you have to purchase together (the reason a Tupperware shower would be silly). Tupperware and Pamper Chef showers are very popular around here. If they gave me a wedding shower then they probably wouldn't have me open the envelopes, and we would just play lots of games and eat lots of food instead (which we will do anyways ). I don't know exactly how it would all work; afterall, it wasn't even my idea. I just had a thought... Ever heard of a shower where people brought gifts only for a specific room (bathroom, yard, etc.)? I don't know, it just randomly popped into my head. lol I'm just trying to get ideas to give to my sisters so that they can make a decision about it.
Posted by farmgirl8806[/QUOTE]

Having a registry is one thing. Telling people that they have to bring something for 7 am or just for the bathroom is annoying.

I can promise you that if you told me I HAD to get a gift for 7 am, I'd be finding a hand crocheted toilet paper cover.

Just have your registry. Go back and put smaller things on it. Heck, I've been married for a long time, and I could still fill a registry list at BB&B.

But sheesh-let your guests pick out a freakin' gift without having to adhere to a lame theme. The "theme" of a shower should be: she's getting married-let's shower her with gifts. Nothing more.

desrosiersl · May 2010

There are tons of themes out there.

Round the clock - everyone gets a time of day, and buys their gift accordingly - (Gave my cousin this kind of shower and it was fun)
Everything A to Z (I did this and it was fun!)
Month of the year -
Here's a link with more options
http://www.beau-coup.com/bridal_shower_themes.htm

farmgirl8806 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridal-shower-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:24ba1e8f-3cf4-48aa-89e1-aa7aecbf1063Post:3d47239a-21c3-4235-a41a-74c0fdc2a325">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]There are tons of themes out there. Round the clock - everyone gets a time of day, and buys their gift accordingly - (Gave my cousin this kind of shower and it was fun) Everything A to Z (I did this and it was fun!) Month of the year - Here's a link with more options <a href="http://www.beau-coup.com/bridal_shower_themes.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.beau-coup.com/bridal_shower_themes.htm</a>
Posted by desrosiersl[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the link, I will be sure to share it with my sisters.

DavidandAmyClark · May 2010

If you are looking for a theme I just attended a spa themed shower, it was awesome the hosts had food and drink and DIY hand wax, mani and pedi and facial treatments. Everyone rotated through stations as desired and just hung out a relaxed. It was awesome!

sarah+nathan · May 2010

I haven't read all of the responses to your post, so I'm sorry if I repeat something! Here are some ideas:
You could have a lawn and garden shower...it could be a casual, outside BBQ and your guests could shower you with lawn equipment, plants, flowers, tools, all kinds of random stuff! This is one that could be a couple's shower, with both you and the groom and both of your friends.
Another idea is the "stock the bar" shower...basically, your friends bring you items to stock your bar with

anything from drinks, to glasses, to bottle openers, etc. This is also a fun way to do a couple's shower. I think this is fun, because you don't register for anything. Your friends just pick out things they think you'll like. It's usually pretty inexpensive for each person, too...and you can make it as tame and classy, or as fun and wild as you want.
Good luck!

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