Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name

The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:10f9a378-84d2-4ac6-a0ed-3f6f287925b9">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to keep my last name for professional purposes (I'm a writer, so I want to keep my recognized pen name), but change legally to my FI's last name. Do you think this will cause undue confusion later on? Also, I've seen many "name change kits" advertised in mags and around the web. Are they worth the money, or should I just do the legwork myself? I'd need to change everything from state ID and SSN card to a passport and government benefits.
Posted by Tandra&Devin[/QUOTE]<div>Dear Tandra&Devin,</div><div>We think it's perfectly fine to have a professional name and legally change your name to your husbands. As far as 'name change' kits' are concerned we suggest you google your home state to see if there are any specific requirements -then see what the kit contains and if you feel it will expedite any of this go right ahead!</div><div>Congratulations,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:2f368d83-c89a-4b8f-9290-041db15f25c5">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to hyphenate my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname, does that mean i have to change all my documents? and if so how and when do i have to do it? and does that mean when ppl send me checks or other things do they have to write my name hyphenated?
Posted by Melanie Carrasquillo[/QUOTE]<div>Dear Melanie,</div><div>Yes, Melanie, you will have to change all your documents - do it after the wedding as you'll need your marriage certificate to do this...give your bank a 'heads up' that you'll be receiving checks with your un-hyphenated name - it'll be fine and it's just for the short term!</div><div>Congrats,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:d4f72836-150f-4dd4-aebc-75dd176699c1">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the timeline for when all of the paperwork needs to be done? If we're going on our honeymoon to Costa Rica the day after the wedding do I need to have my new name reflected on my passport or can I just use my old one and switch it after the wedding?
Posted by lch0708[/QUOTE]<div>Dear Ich0708,</div><div>Wow! Costa Rica - that will be great!</div><div>Wait till after you're home from the honeymoon to change your name formally. Use your old passport to travel and have it changed after the wedding along with your social security card and driver's license.</div><div>Congrats,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:2430c9a4-f875-4eda-970c-4363a29c4579">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I jsut graduated from college and I have 3 different student loans. Do I need to let them know that my name is changing?
Posted by nlouder2011[/QUOTE]<div>Dear nlouder2011,</div><div>Yes, you need to inform all your loan officers about your marriage. After the wedding (and honeymoon!) take your marriage certificate to them and also change your social security card, driver's license and passport.</div><div>Enjoy your wedding!</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:ef60c134-b8c9-407c-b083-76aadf748c06">Re:Expert Qamp;A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]My daughter has my lastname... Which is my maiden and her fathers with a lastname .... How do I remove MY fathers name out of there. Court I guess. Ugh and do I want to give her father full legal name change... Which I was avoiding! Fail! Don't want her to keep my dads last name. Weird.
Posted by avasparkles1@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]<div>Dear avasparkles1,</div><div>Wow - this is complicated! We strongly you consult an attorney on something like this.</div><div>Enjoy your wedding and congratulations,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:cdb9f051-87c9-4f0a-8c2e-d02121709fef">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]Can your last name be changed after 5 years of marriage? If so, what is the procedure?
Posted by JasminTM[/QUOTE]<div>Dear Jasmin TM,</div><div>Yes you can! It's the same procedure as changing your name right after the wedding - get your marriage certificate out of your files and begin with your social security card, drivers license and passport and then take it from there to your bank accounts, credit cards, insurance etc....</div><div>All the best,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:533c3dc4-10e0-47a9-9725-2c39af5f6d88">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fiance's legal last name is Mashewske. He goes by the last name of Carney cuz that is what is "adoptive' family's last name is. He is wants to eventually legally change it to Carney. When we get married can I make my last name Carney or do I have to use Mashewske?
Posted by quinparks[/QUOTE]<div>Dear quinparks,</div><div>Gee, this sounds like something you should consult an attorney about - we're sure it can be sorted out fairly easily, but, your home state may have their own way of doing this!</div><div>Have a great wedding - congratulations!</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:d0f660b0-248e-4826-a0a2-88aafd1c86f8">Re:Expert Qamp;A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure I will be hypenating our last names, its a compromise we've come to with him being traditional, I'm a crazy feminist. My question is...what are some ways that we can announce the wedding later on paper in regards to our name, more importantly how would we announce it at the ceremony? I don't want to be announce as mr mrs hislastname or anything like that. Any ideas?? Thanks!!
Posted by bonzieboo329[/QUOTE]<div>Dear bonzieboo329,</div><div>We have an idea! At your wedding if you have a bandleader or emcee-type have them introduce you this way.."And now for the first time Mr. and Mrs. herlastname/hislastname - everyone will get the message at the same time...and in the papers conclude your announcement with 'Miss ___ will be known as Mrs. herlastname/hislastname...Congratulations to you both!</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:5f6bbeb1-fd55-4b99-befa-4703ba285ab8">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm torn because he has two last names, one from his monther, one from his father; I love both names, but its quite long to have both! Should we shorten it to his father's name as tradition says, or is it appropriate to use his (unmarried) mother's last name? Not to mention the fact i may tack on my maiden name as well.... names names names!
Posted by alliebee212[/QUOTE]<div>Dear alliebee212,</div><div>That's alot to keep straight! This is something that really is a discussion for your and your fiance (he may not be comfortable with losing his mom's last name)....this is something we call a 'happy problem' - congrats!</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:8cfb91e9-0111-451e-9b47-da412c8000f6">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I already know that I want to change my last name after my November 16th nuptials and since we are leaving the next day to go to Niagara Falls for a few days and "legally" I'll still be Jessica Mylastname. We'll be getting hom 2 days before Thanksgiving... do I have to wait to get this name change rolling till after the holiday or can I make good use of my time off from work and knock that off my list?
Posted by jmb528[/QUOTE]<div>Dear jmb528,</div><div>Niagara Falls - how romantic! Unfortunayely, you will have to wait till after the wedding - you need your marriage certificate to get the ball rolling - you can certainly start when you get home doing the paperwork of changing your social security card, drivers license and passport and then take it form there!</div><div>have fun,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:9a12c00c-16dd-4f82-819c-920d75d899bb">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to change my last name but I have published journal articles with my last name on them. How do you change your name but keep your maiden name professionally?
Posted by christinacap[/QUOTE]<div>Dear christinacap,</div><div>Yes, you can keep your professional name and still change your name to your fiance's legally. Just make sure when you publish an article that the payroll folks have your legal name - </div><div>Congratulations from The Garter Brides!!

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:584f5664-d30f-4a0c-afe2-18da188bb43d">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to take my fiance's name but use mine in my profession. Our last names are too long to hypenate. Any suggestions?
Posted by lvalastro[/QUOTE]<div>Dear Ivalastro,</div><div>If you feel your names are too long to hyphenate, of course, use your maiden name professionally - you can do this and still have your fiance's name on all documents! Congratulations!,</div><div>The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:8a1136dc-da9c-4d57-a0eb-85ff2fa9b3a8">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I am hyphenating my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname, but if someone writes me a check for Christina Hislastname without including my full hyphenated last name, can I still cash it or does everything for me have to include my entire full last name?
Posted by misstomrstodr[/QUOTE]
Dear misstomrstodr,<div>No Problem! give your bank a 'heads up' that you'll be receiving checks and it should be fine. Have a great wedding,</div><div>The Garter Brides</div>

The Garter Brides · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:8a1136dc-da9c-4d57-a0eb-85ff2fa9b3a8">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I am hyphenating my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname, but if someone writes me a check for Christina Hislastname without including my full hyphenated last name, can I still cash it or does everything for me have to include my entire full last name?
Posted by misstomrstodr[/QUOTE]
Dear misstomrstodr,<div>No Problem! give your bank a 'heads up' that you'll be receiving checks and it should be fine. Have a great wedding,</div><div>The Garter Brides</div>

Leslie2023 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:980aab38-a169-4bf4-8de9-a3d15d420916">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In college, I changed my last name because I didn't want my Father's name (parent's diverced when i was an infant). I am still "young" in the professional sense, but having my hard to pronounce last name "Levassuer" has actually helped me be recgonized. My fiance is leaving it to me to choose, he is ok either way. My gut tells me to keep my name, for professional use, and I already chose this name. But my brain questions if that goes against my Christian faith, "two become one." I need to look in the Bible for an specific verses that discuss the "name." From you, I ask, am I over thinking it? It seems common for Brides to keep thier names, maiden or not.
Posted by aligwen[/QUOTE]
I chose to keep my maiden name when I married for the 2nd time, (25 years ago). My 1st H made a big stink about insisting I change my name, so I did, but it never seemed right, or felt natural. After 3 years of marriage, we divorced & I went back to my own name. My father is the only male in his family, & I don't have any brothers to carry on the family name. I explained to my new husband that I wanted to keep my name & he was totally fine w/ it. The commitment to the relationship is way more important than what you call yourself. If your FI loves & supports you, he should (& you too) be able to understand that your name is only a minimal part of the whole marriage. Remember too that the Bible was written during a time when it was ok for neighboring tribes to kidnap women for brides, women could be bought/sold against their will in exchange for camels or other animals. Also, if your husband died, his brother or other unattached male family member was required to step up & marry his widow. I believe the Bible is a wonderful book, just that some of the wedding customs of those times are a teensy bit outdated.

handfast4me · May 2012

Leslie, I am in a similar position--my dad, who I loved dearly, had no brothers, and no sons.

I kept my BIRTH name when I married, in 1985, snd kept it when I remarried in 2008. I think that some of the posts above miss the mark. I consulted a lawyer, and he advised me 1) NOT to hyphenate--too confusing, and 2) NOT to use one name at work, and one socially. ALL legal documents should be in one name. If people call me Mrs. DHLastName, I'm fine with it--I don't correct them, until they need to write me a check. Same with DH, he doesn't correct them, when people call him Mr Handfast.

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