Guest List

kmschuler · February 2012

Happy Friday!!!

My parents are paying for our reception they put a 250 max on people, so if there is anything more my FI and I will be responable. We are trying to cut out guest list. My FI originally has his whole work on the list which is a total of 54 gues (27 co-workers and he is giving them each a plus 1). There are co-workers that he comes home and complains about, he cant stand them etc. etc. How do I get through to him that this is your wedding you dont have to play Mr. Nice guy and invite everyone from work expecially since we are trying to cut back. I have already cut some of my work people, I went from 30 to 10.

I do not want to cut friends, I feel like work should be the last people who are invited. Am I wrong to tell him to cut work people or do you have any other ideas on how we can cut back on guest?

volleygurl0306 · February 2012

No!!!! I 100% agree with you. I think coworkers are hard to do at all because it's an all or none thing. Unless he spends time with them outside of work (because he wants to and enjoys them not to make gains in his career) I'd cut all of them. And, unless they are married/engaged/living with someone, an easy cut is their plus ones. The plus ones may be a lower hanging fruit for you to go after first and pick your battles. Plus ones to singles is a courtesy and only is "necessary" if they won't know anyone at the wedding but the bride and groom. But, they'd know each other so not the case here.

Sarah&Eric2012 · February 2012

If everyone from work knows eachother then it's acceptable (I've heard) to not give them a plus-1. That could help cut down the number of people by a lot. Perhaps if they're married you could invite the spouse but I wouldn't give a plus-1 to the work people who are single and will know other work people at the wedding.

FI and I didn't invite anyone from our current jobs because we both have such large families already. We only included people who we used to work with (and have remained friends with) because we met at work and they have kind of supported us both through this whole journey.

CowgirlK39 · February 2012

Next time he complains about certain people, butt in and ask "then why is he/she coming to our wedding?" Tell him exactly what you said here. He doesn't have to feel obligated to invite coworkers. Also, inform him that the guest list should be done in terms of priority... most important people go on the list first. So close friends should trump minor coworkers that neither of you even like.

mamameech · February 2012

I would agree that coworkers would be one the last levels of invitees and they do not require a +1. If you have the space/money, go all out, but if you need to cut back, I would not want to cut family or friends over a coworker (unless a coworker is a close friend of course).

lbarr088 · February 2012

I don't think coworkers are an "all or none" sort of thing. The only coworkers I am inviting are my direct boss and the boss that runs the lab along with coworkers I actively hang out with on a regular basis. The rest of my coworkers I am friendly with but I wouldn't consider myself close to.

Ditto PPs in not cutting family or friends over coworkers. Honestly, if they aren't people he would regularly hang out with, why invite them?

volleygurl0306 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_guest-list-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:5d4cd534-b98c-4826-a55d-ca46db10c8a4Post:5e580b37-04f8-40ff-9261-896e06fac9a4">Re: Guest List</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I don't think coworkers are an "all or none" sort of thing.</strong>
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Guess I should clarify that I think coworkers who are not friends but mere acquaintences end up being all or none because people get offended. Coworkers who are friends as well are a different situation and I would put in friends category before coworkers category and invite.

abcollins08 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_guest-list-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:5d4cd534-b98c-4826-a55d-ca46db10c8a4Post:5e580b37-04f8-40ff-9261-896e06fac9a4">Re: Guest List</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think coworkers are an "all or none" sort of thing. The only coworkers I am inviting are my direct boss and the boss that runs the lab along with<strong> coworkers I actively hang out with on a regular basis</strong>. The rest of my coworkers I am friendly with but I wouldn't consider myself close to. Ditto PPs in not cutting family or friends over coworkers. Honestly, if they aren't people he would regularly hang out with, why invite them?
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

This is what I'm doing too. I'm only inviting 3 people from my work. I sit with these people and we actually hang out outside of work together so I would consider them friends now. FI is choosing not to invite anyone from his job, we both have large families so there isn't any room in the budget.

meagandal · February 2012

I am inviting my owner head boss, who I kne before Iworked for him. The VP who I;ve worked closely with and been invited to functions at his home etc as well and the 2 women who work in the office with me, that is all, and I think totally justifiable. There a few others I maybe woudl invite if we weren't worried about numbers but then there would be hurt feelings. I think it really depends on the dynamic of your workplace. I can't not invite these girls even though one is a total PIA we share a room, she is a lovely girl but as a co-worker we clash at times, yet my weddign has been a happy conversation piece and peace maker for us, so I can't very well talk about my weddign with her at work and have her semi involved and then not invite her.

kmschuler · February 2012

He works for a Heating a cooling company so he doesnt even see his co-workers most of the time, they all have their own work van and usually work on site by themselfs, every now and then they will work with another guy that day. Me on the other hand work in an office, I told him if I can face the people everyday that I am not inviting you can not invite some of your co-workers because you will only see them once a month if that.

AriesAngel86 · February 2012

Fiance and I are lucky I guess... we live in Texas (but the wedding is in Michigan) so it would be silly to invite anyone from work. Makes the decision easy...but if the wedding was in Texas, I probably wouldn't invite any coworkers. I'll probably be at a lot of jobs in my lifetime and very few of them will be lasting friends.

beckyboo27 · February 2012

I think it's okay to invite sselect co-workers. FI is only inviting co-workers he hangs out with outside of work. It's only the boss and I at my work, so he'll be the only co-worker at my work to get an invite.

jessa1228 · February 2012

Technically I work with about 400 other employees (yay retail!) so obviously I'm not inviting everyone, haha. I am inviting coworkers that I am friendly with though; right now I have about 15 of them on my list.

SCogs18 · February 2012

You do NOT need to invite all his coworkers and their dates! My goodness! FI isn't inviting any of his coworkers. First, eliminate people he doesn't like! Your wedding guests should be people you care about. I would say if you are inviting a person/coworker who is married/engaged/long term relationship you need to give them a plus one.

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