I am in a sticky situation with one of my BM's (a close friend).
Last year around this time one of my close friends had a number of unexpected health issues arise including a stroke. When it was time to ask for my friends to be in the WP she had just been released from the hospital. At the time we all had really high hopes and we may have been naive to think things would get back to being somewhat normal. I felt the need to make her feel included because I did not want her to be even more upset about her new found disabilities so I asked her. When I asked her I THOUGHT I worded it in a way that let her know she was important to me and I would love to have her be a part of the day but I understood she had a long road of her and I in no way wanted her to feel obligated. I told her it was completely up to her but I just wanted her to know she was important to me and no matter if she was able to be in it or not the thought was there. I really truly and honestly did this with the best intentions. We had no idea at the time that her condition would not have improved by now.
I hadn't mentioned it and neither had she until NOW. My wedding is in 3 mths. She basically informs me that she will be going to get fitted for her dress and it seemed almost as she was saying whether I like it or not. I had no clue she had any intentions at this point on being in the wedding. This of course would not be an issue but she cannot walk by herself down the aisle, stand by herself and she cannot drive. She cannot do most regular tasks on her own. She uses a walker when she can. She would have to make arrangements to be dropped off and picked up or depend on me to get her back and forth on my wedding day and of course I will be super busy. She is also on alot of pain medication and is so out of it at times and at others just plain mean and combative. She is going through a nasty divorce from someone who she has let control her for 10 years and this had made matters worse. She is wanting to prove her independence and also "prove" that she is not disabled. I understand how hard this is for her but my wedding is not the place to try and make that statement.
Basically I was wanting some input from others on how to handle this because it really upsets me and has caused me a lack of sleep. I do not want to take her out of the WP but I would like to make other arrangements for her on the day of the wedding and have her already seated instead of walking down the aisle. Any suggestions???