Did any of your BM surprise you when it came down to the wedding (LONG)?

Re: Did any of your BM surprise you when it came down to the wedding (LONG)?

• akmackay

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Yeah, there were a lot of things surrounding the shower/b-party that I was told that shocked me. However, I don't think it's our place to say anything or get involved.

  *~allie~*
  
  

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• uppereastgirl member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Honestly, I think it is kind of crappy of the MOH to tell you about this stuff.  She should let you enjoy your shower without knowing any of the drama going on behind the scenes.  What good does telling you about it do?
  
  What do you mean by the money was "due" on October 20?  Due to whom? 
  
  Maybe the MOH has given the girls the impression that she has everything under control?  Maybe she hasn't made it sound like she wants anyone else's help?  Maybe she isn't being very nice to them and she's sick of her?  If it is such a problem though, she should have gotten in touch with the girls and nicely asked them for help rather than bitching about them not volunteering.  Sure it would be nice of them to offer, but maybe they're waiting to hear from her. 
  

  

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• Heather822

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Unfortunately these things seem to always create drama..... =(
  I am sorry... don't take it personally. Wedding events unfortunately sometimes bring out the worst in people.
  
  I just had a MOH, and she planned the shower with my mother~in~law. No drama there!

  
  
  
  Being married is a real thriller!
  
  

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• Reilly626 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Of course things went on but I did not get involved. I was clued in after, and frankly I was thinking of confronting my MOH after the wedding, but after the speech she made and help that day I just couldnt and let it go to save a friendship.  She was very uninvolved, didnt call my mom back or even come to my Bach. Party. Disappointing to me but Im over it.

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• Danes983 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Its just so upsetting. I know there is always drama. I expected like stupid stuff.  When I say the money was due its what they each decided on to contribute for the shower.  My MOH is paying the venue since she is the most local to it.  She told them 2 months before she needed it the date it had to be paid.  Well she had to resort to leaving nasty messages bc she doenst have extra money to front until the girls pay her.  I just look at it like I would do anything for these girls and thought that they felt the same.  It makes me question the friendships I have knowing that some of these girls have been down right terrible to my MOH.  Im not getting involved at all with it.  Just wanted to see if I was the only one.

  
  

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• cutiepie12702

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I have some family members avoiding me and my mother like the plauge. As a result, my mother is planning and paying for my shower herself (which she doesn't mind, but it really ticks me off). Considering I practically planned one of my family member's entire weddings (they constantly texted me, asked my opinions and for help, etc. every single day) and they have not even called or texted me in the last six months, it really makes me very mad and disappointed. When I was going dress shopping I even asked them if they would like to come with me and they never got back to me. People are acting really strange and I have no idea what their problems are, but it's really disappointing and unexpected. I feel your pain, but try not to focus on this and let it bring you down. You have enough on your plate, you don't need to take on their problems too.

  

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• uppereastgirl member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  If she's leaving them nasty messages, she shouldn't be surprised that they aren't fighting each other to be on her decorating committee.  I'd suspect if it is 4 against 1 that there's a lot more to that story and that she isn't that innocent.
  
  Stay out of it, and if she brings it up, try to change the subject as quickly as possible.  You can laugh about the war stories after the wedding, but it is really rude and inappropriate and inconsiderate for her to bitch to you about it now.

  

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• jchristel member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I had a similar situation and I didn't get involved.  I was disappointed that a few people weren't helpful or didn't "pull their weight", but I saw a lot of that for myself (as well as heard it from one BM).  I think the most important part is to stay out of it and depending on what's going on, possibly re-evaluate relationships when it's all said and done. 

  

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• gibribuz member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I completely understand how you feel.  One of my BM and I got into a disagreement because she was upset that I couldn't afford to spend $80+ for her husband's birthday celebration.  When I explained that we needed to save money and my first paycheck of the year was already spent on bills (I'm a teacher) she started complaining about the cost of the dress and hair and makeup.  I was very upset because I honestly thought $150 was a reasonable amount to spend on a dress.  It also bothered me because I never said or implied that hair and makeup was mandatory.  Since I don't have a MOH and she was complaining about the cost of everything, my mother decided to throw me my shower.  All the other BMs have offered to help decorate or help my mom but this BM has not. 
  
  Sorry this response was a little long -- I guess I needed to vent a little.  Anyways... my point is that I know what you are going through. 
  

  

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• tinydancer842

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Honestly...there are two sides to every story -- I don't know why you are so quick to assume everyone else are the bad guys. You only have ONE side to the story. Who knows what really went down -- maybe the other girls couldn't afford it & she didn't want to hear it. Maybe they never wanted to plan a shower & somehow got roped in. Whatever the case may be -- this is why you shouldn't be involved & she shouldn't be relaying these stories to you.

  

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