circling

parker624 · July 2010

Did you circle your FI the full 7 times, or did you do 3, he do 3, and you do one with each other once? Or other?

I'd love to hear why you chose to do it the way you did.

ciaraman · July 2010

I'm not married yet, but I'm going to do the full 7 circles. Originally I was going to skip this entirely, because I thought it was kind of odd, but the more times I've seen it the more I like it. I like the symbolism of creating a space for just he and I. As for why I'm doing 7 as opposed to 3/3/1, honestly, 7 is the only way I've seen it. If we were to change it, I think we'd get some weird looks from his family (and I'm not even sure our rabbi would go for it), and I wouldn't have a good reason to explain why we did it that way.

Rachiemoo · July 2010

I circled DH 3 times, he didn't circle me at all.

slbriz34 · July 2010

I liked the idea of my circling creating a space that we, as an exclusive couple, would share. Because I really feel like the woman is the strong hold of the house, i wanted to do the circling. I wanted to do it 7 times and it was always planned that way, but the day of, our rabbi stopped me after the third. It was a few things he did that I wasn't pleased with that day and if I had to do over again, much as I like him, I'd be inclined to hire a rabbi that would have arranged the day as I wanted.

razdazzle · July 2010

I plan to circle 7 times. I had thought about the 3-3-1 idea with FI circling me too....but in the end I really wanted to do the circling, I liked the meaning of me circling Fi, and I think it is one of the more beautiful traditions of a Jewish wedding.

penaltyshot · July 2010

We did 3-3-1. 7 would have made me dizzy and I think my husband liked taking part in the tradition.

Shoshie · July 2010

We did 3-3-1. We thought it would be a lovely way to show how we are the centers of each others universes... and then we did the single walk to respresent the space we will share.

LBRM_NJ · July 2010

I circled my husband three times. I'm not really sure why I didn't circle seven, but, in hindsight, I wish I had as I'm very traditional.

tenofcups4me · July 2010

No circling. I've only seen circling twice in my entire life -- oddly enough, once at an orthodox wedding and once at a reform interfaith wedding. In reform circles, it seems to be one of those traditions that went out of favor for a while, though it seems to be making a comeback. If I were going to circle, it would have been 3,3,1 since the meaning of just the woman circling 7 times is completely contrary to my relationship and what we want it to be.

vlevitt · July 2010

we circled each other 7 times. i had originally wanted to circle DH 7 times, but he wanted to circle as well, so we compromised on circling each other 7 times, as 14 circles seemed a bit excessive! we did it as a "gypsy" (sorry about the derogotory term, Roma people!). It's a step in contra dancing where you lock eyes and circle each other while holding the other person's gaze.

it was a really intense and beautiful moment where we focussed just on each other at the start of the ceremony. our guests also really liked it, as they had never seen anything like it before.

slbriz34 · July 2010

@ Vlevitt - sounded very lovely.

caraellen23 · July 2010

I hadn't planned on circling, but I think we are going to do 3-3-1. We're trying to keep everything very egalitarian, so I like the idea of FI being involved and circling together.

Anyone have any tips on circling with a long dress train?

Rachiemoo · July 2010

@ cara re: dress train: i was just super careful while circling and after i was done my MOH straightened the train for me so it wasn't in a bunch for the ceremony.

parker624 · July 2010

I was thinking I would have my MOH drape it over my arm?

caraellen23 · July 2010

Thanks! I'll have to see at my next fitting what would work best.

slbriz34 · July 2010

Ditto Rachel - it didn't really bunch up too much, but my MOH was in charge of making sure to help if needed, then she straightened it out when I took my place.

lachlom · July 2010

I'm going to do 7 times. I don't see anything sexist about the woman doing the circling 7 times. I like the symbolism of creating the space we will both share as mentioned above.

Jeni35 · July 2010

I plan to do it 7 times and I have a traditional Sephardic song to use (Fi's is Sepharad and I am half Ashkenazic and half Sephardic. I have been practicing because of course, I don't want it to see excessive; but then again, it is my special day. Fi loves the idea! Rabbi did not suggest 3 circles and having FI circle as well.

Tasianab · July 2010

Someone posted this question a while back and I originally said we were going to do the 3, 3, 1 thing. We just had another meeting with our Rabbi this past Wednesday and he really encouraged us to have me circle my fiance the full 7 times. He told us one interpretation from Jewish Mysticism that discussed how a person has 7 layers to their core and the circling can be thought of as a way to peel back those layers and get to the core of him before we become one. I thought it was one of the most beautiful explanations I had heard and I swear my fiance had tears in his eyes!! Anyway...I'm sold on the 7 circles.

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