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Oh Danny Boy

Melis7683Melis7683
10 Comments
in Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
Hi ladies!

My name is Melissa.  I've posted a few times on this board, but haven't formally introduced myself.  FI were engaged on April 9 and are very excited to be married!  We've been together for almost 5 years and it's about darn time we make it official.  We picked our date anf venue for February 9, 2013 at the Grand Hall at the Priory.  Both the ceremony and reception will be there.  We are taking advantage of the Winter White package that they offer.

I wanted to get opinions from you girls on a music piece that I have thought about having in the wedding.  Oh Danny Boy is a very special piece of music to me and my family.  Dannny was my dad's name and he passed away 8 years ago.  This song was played at his funueral on bagpipes, and it was also the song my grandfather used to sing to my dad when he was little.  It's still very difficult to deal with the idea that he won't be there to walk me down the aisle and share in our special day, let alone ever meet my future husband.

I had the idea last night to maybe incorporate the song into our big day.  I thought of the symbolism of having an instrumental version of it play while my brother walks me down the aisle.  I like the idea a ot, but I also think it might just not be appropriate as it is a sad song (even the instrumental version.)  I also thought about maybe playing it for another part of the ceremony, but I really don't know hoe many chances there are to play music.  I'm not uber well versed on the pacing and timing of ceremonies as I haven't been to one in a long time.

Anybody have any thoughts?  Thanks in advance everyone!
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Re: Oh Danny Boy

  • sarilynnepsarilynnep
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi! Thanks for introducing yourself :-)

    My stepsister lost her father several years ago, and I saw how hard it was for her to not have her father there or even get the chance to meet her husband. For the ceremony her brother walked her down the aisle and it was emotional for everyone in the room as her dad wasn't there to walk her down.

    I wouldn't try and walk down the aisle too the song, as hearing will make you and everyone else cry. Brides cry down the aisle all the time, but it shouldn't be out of sadness and I'm afraid that would be the case during your walk if you played it.

    I really liked what my stepsister did- During the ceremony my stepsister and stepbrother lit a memorial candle to their father. The pastor said a few words and the whole thing ended up beautiful. My stepsister even ordered to have the candle with her dad's name on it and kept it after the wedding. If you did something like that you would be able to play the song then and have that special moment that honors you dad. You can have whoever you want lighting the candle- you and your fiance/husband, your mom and you, or you and siblings. Whatever works for you.
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  • jlbaxter33jlbaxter33
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My father passed away when I was young, 13. I wanted to honor him, but I didn't want it to be sad. I didn't do a memorial candle, b/c to me that would be too sad.

    My Mom bought a locket and put a picture of my Dad in it (you can see this on Joanna Fassinger's blog), my Mom walked me down and she insisted on having a chair left empty beside her.

    I also encorporated a poem and a memorial note to my Dad on the back of my programs. You could maybe take some lyrics from the song and add a note to your Dad on your programs.

    To me, this was enough and it was subtle. This is a time of rejoicing, not grieving, and that song playing while you are walking down the aisle would be way, way, way too sad for you, your Mom and your family. I highly advise against it.
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  • sarilynnepsarilynnep
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Jbaxter is right- if you do a memorial candle or the song you will be crying during the ceremony. My stepsister knew this, and although the moment was beautiful and just what she needed, it was very sad. If you chose to a candle or something similiar just be aware that's its a very sad moment for you and your guests. For my stepsister this helped her a little, but for others it's not what they would want on their wedding day. Do what feels right to you.

    I definitely think jbaxter is right on target saying don't do the song while going down the aisle. It's just too upsetting.
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  • Beth0413Beth0413
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My father passed away 10 years ago & not having him there to walk me down the aisle was very hard. With that said, I didn't want to focus on the sad on my wedding day. I carried his picture in a memory charm on my bouquet, so he was "with" me as I walked down the aisle. I also mentioned him in our programs.

    I personally would avoid playing the song when you walk down the aisle, I think it would be too hard.

    Good luck deciding...
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  • carlyanne05carlyanne05
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Another suggestion that I have is possibly having the song played pre-ceremony.  I'm still not sure if this is appropriate or if it would just really sadden others but just a thought.
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