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Addressing father's guest

batfacepattermonthbatfacepattermonth
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My dad is in an on-again-off-again relationship with a woman I've met a couple times. I am unable to call my dad right now or anytime soon (he's out of the country). They don't "officially" live together when they're together (I don't think). We don't have inner envelopes.

Would it be okay to address the outer envelope to just my dad and on the RSVP card "we have reserved 2 seats in your honour"?  

I don't want to exclude the possible/probable girlfriend, but I highly doubt she'd be offended and I could see my dad raising an eyebrow at the envelope if her name was on it, or even thinking I was weird if I did ask him (strange relationship the two of us).

What's the official rule (pretty sure it would be to include her name IF they're dating the day the invites go out -- but it's tricky to find that out)?
Do the circumstances give me any leeway? :)

Thanks!
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Re: Addressing father's guest

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    You generally should put the SO's name on the invitation.  However, if you really cannot figure it out or think your dad would prefer the invitation addressed to just him, I would write his name only, and then put a note in his invitation that says that he is welcome to bring his GF or another guest of his choosing.  To me, that is better than putting "and guest" on his invitation, since that might seem like you are not acknowledging their relationship at all.
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  • SnippylynnSnippylynn member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Hrm. Normally, she would get her own invite.  Why can't you call or otherwise contact your dad? I live out of the country and definitely talk to my family back in the US. Shocking, I know. ;)
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  • batfacepattermonthbatfacepattermonth
    10 Comments
    Thanks!   My dad is gone on vacation, traveling. He didn't give me a number where he can be reached. We're not terribly close.
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  • futuremrsbrunofuturemrsbruno member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Hmmm... that's a tough one. Normally, I would agree to call him, but if he's out of the country and you can't contact him, clearly that's a problem.

    How long is he away? Will he be back before you need the RSVP's in by? I know you said you aren't terribly close, but I'm going to assume that he's obviously coming, it's the matter of whether or not the on again/off again gf is coming and what her name is.

    If you can wait until he gets home, I would. If there is another way to find out her name or their status, I'd check into it. As a last resort, I think "and guest" would still be appropriate as you don't really know the status of their relationship, or have a way to find out.

    I had a couple of people I needed to do that for, and it worked out fine. I think it was helpful, because they responded with the name of the guest on the card so I knew the name. It also helped because until then, they hadn't returned my messages so it's the only way I knew the name!
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