too close to friends wedding date?

jenellis25 · October 2010

I got engaged this past spring and a close friend got engaged the following month. She's getting married at her parent's beautiful home and so set a date right away in August 2011.My FI and I looked at several venues and finally found one we love. Now I can't imagine getting married anywhere else. Unfortunately, the only date available (the venue is only available 3 months of the year) is ONE WEEK after my friend's wedding.
Would it be wrong to choose this date? Not booking it would mean finding another venue... or putting the wedding off 9 more months... which isn't happening.

Also - she said they were thinking of honeymooning a couple of months after the wedding so I don't think she'd be out of town.
I can't help but feel like she might freak out... Any thoughts?

Update: Thanks for your replies!
I will definitely be talking to her this weekend, I just wanted your thoughts.
There are only 2 guests who will be attending both weddings and both are local. Neither of them work weekends.
@Rosie109 sorry about the font, I accidentally clicked the font color button and it froze.

thesuninherhead · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_close-friends-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:26d89ba6-2564-43ad-848b-e082c6457d86Post:7039dbdc-2c0b-4238-b561-331ec2ca66d8">too close to friends wedding date?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got engaged this past spring and a close friend got engaged the following month. She's getting married at her parent's beautiful home and so set a date right away in August 2011. My FI and I looked at several venues and finally found one we love. Now I can't imagine getting married anywhere else. Unfortunately, the only date available (the venue is only available 3 months of the year) is ONE WEEK after my friend's wedding. Would it be wrong to choose this date? Not booking it would mean finding another venue... or putting the wedding off 9 more months... which isn't happening. Also - she said they were thinking of honeymooning a couple of months after the wedding so I don't think she'd be out of town. I can't help but feel like she might freak out... Any thoughts?
Posted by jenellis25[/QUOTE] If it were me, I would probably look elsewhere if this friend is close and you will have a lot of joint guests. Although she really does 'only get one day', it may be an inconvenience to your guests to have back-to-back weddings to attend. That said, it's probably better that you ask her how she feels if you are concerned about that, rather than us.

ChelleLouise · October 2010

If she's a close friend, then you should be able to talk to her and see how she feels. Without knowing her, it's impossible to provide guidance in this situation.

Rosie109 · October 2010

I agree with PP. Even though every bride only gets ONE day (sometimes not even one day) for their weddings, if you have the option to avoid drama and issues I would take that route. Definitely talk to her, if you can, and get a feel for whether or not she would be upset. I also agree with PP that you may want to think of guests that will be attending both weddings, it might be a bit of a wedding overdose if they have two back to back wedding weekends.

Also, not to be a brat but could you just post in the default color? The gray is hard to read on my sleepy eyes

JerseyML · October 2010

I am not going to have this problem because most of my friends are married and if they weren't, none of them would ever want to get married in the winter like we are. (Hopefully booking the place in two weeks) But as a guest, I personally wouldn't have a problem with it. But other people might. Talk to her first. And make sure she is completely honest. None of this "Oh yeah its totally fine" where secretly she wants to smack you. Then proceed from there. You could even ask a few friends that might be invited to both weddings to see what they think.

qwerty777 · October 2010

I would talk to your friend about it. If you don't have a huge guest overlap, it might not be that big of a deal, or even if most of the guests are local. For me, it would be hard to take two weekends off in a row, so I might end up picking one over the other even without having to travel.

smore154 · October 2010

Just talk with her. She might be on her honeymoon at that time- and if she's really that close, you'd probably want her there.

marissa_claire · October 2010

The only thing I can say with this is that if you have a number of the same OOT guests, you might be running the risk that your friends will choose one wedding over another, because it's doubtful they will travel two weekends in a row. Otherwise, yes, you should definitely talk to her first and find out how she feels about it. That shouldn't necessarily guide your decision, but you shouldn't be dropping a bomb on her later either.

sarah0725 · October 2010

I think talking to your friend is the best option here. Only she can tell you how hurt she would be.

And I'll just throw in that if I were invited to two weddings two weekends in a row, I would bust my butt to make it to both. This summer I went to two weddings on two opposite sides of the country that were two weeks apart.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

If I were you, I'd do it. But I'd let her know first. Also, think about how you'd like going to a friend's wedding the weekend before yours. I was too busy to enjoy myself the weekend before my wedding, so you'll have to get any projects out of the way.

landra310s · October 2010

I got engaged in January 2010, In February we booked the wedding for October 2011. We need a long engagement to save $ for a wedding. One of my friends got engaged this past september, and immediately went out looking for a venue and booked it for 2 weeks before mine. She didn't ask, just did it and sent out an email to let us all know the date. I was beyond pissed, now our friends will have back to back showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings. Did I say I was pissed? NO That wouldn't get me anywhere.. so I kept it all to myself. My best friend got engaged in August and set her wedding for May 2011. She asked if I was ok with it before she booked it, since it was before mine and I was engaged first, I had no problem with it because its MONTHS before my wedding. It won't affect anything, and I don't care that she's getting married first, as long as its not so close to mine. I'm not going to want to be running around for her wedding when I have my own stuff to do. I honestly think its rude. But that's my opinion.. she was aware of my date, did it anyways. If rolls were reversed I know she's be pissed at me. It's too damn close in my opinion to your friends wedding. And she will probably tell you it's ok whenyou ask, but I'm sure she really is going to be upset with you.

hlq2011 · October 2010

FI and my good friends are getting married 13 days after we are. The only thing that bothers me about it is that if we run into trouble with our honeymoon flights, we could potentially miss their wedding.

But that's me, and as PPs have said, we can't tell you how she'll react. Talk to her; see what she thinks.

And, as Mery said, is it going to stress you out to have a wedding to go to the weekend before your own?

jenellis25 · October 2010

Hi ladies,

Thanks for all of your help!

I talked with my pal tonight and it turns out they will be taking off for their honeymoon right after the wedding. I definitely want her to be there, and if we choose that date she won't be, so it made my choice really easy.

I'm back on the venue search!

Thanks again.

too close to friends wedding date?

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