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Avoiding An RSVP Nightmare

strawberry5889strawberry5889
10 Comments
in African American Weddings
I was talking to my friend today, who got married last year in April and she said that people mailing back the RSVP cards was a disaster. Some people didnt send them at all and showed up anyway. Some people took long to send them and when her caterer and cake maker needed head counts she couldnt give them a solid  number. Did she just get unlucky? How are you going to do your RSVP's? By phone? EMail? Or The regular way..... Im terrified that this will happen to me
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Re: Avoiding An RSVP Nightmare

  • mahoganieyesmahoganieyes
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That's true! We had people rsvp yes and did not show. I did notice 2 people in attendance that brought a date but not rsvp for them. So it balanced out. 1-2 weeks before the wedding dh still had around 10-15 still not mail back rsvp cards and so he called. We had one or two who never responded via phone or card.


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  • kiyamurphkiyamurph
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Girl...I hate to break it to you but unfortunately this will happen.  It happens to everyone.  It doesn't matter what you do, you'll always have people who don't send back their rsvp, they won't follow directions on the rsvp (as if it's that hard), you'll have people show up who didn't rsvp, you'll have people who rsvp'd but won't show up, and the list goes on. For most, the amount of people who pull a no show and the people who just show up tends to balance itself out.  We had both the traditional rsvp method (card with stamped envelope) and voicemail through google voice.  It's free and you can cancel it when you're done with the rsvps.

    All you can do is control what you can control.  I called/texted people who didn't send back rsvps on time to see if they were coming or not.  After that, if I didn't hear from them then I took that as a no.  If someone doesn't follow directions and rsvps for someone who wasn't invited, immediately get in contact with them and tell them that sorry that person wasn't invited so they cannot attend.  You'll have some rational people who'll understand, and then you have others that won't like it.  For those that don't like it, well then they can stay home.  And most importantly, MAKE SURE YOU CODE YOUR RSVPS!!!!!!!   I can't express this enough!  Even though it's totally obvious, you'll still have folks who won't write their name on the rsvp card or the handwriting may not be legible.  The way I did it was I had my guest list on a spreadsheet and the number that corresponded with their name in the spreadsheet was the same number that was on the back of the rsvp card very lightly written in pencil in the lower righthand corner.  You can come up with any code that you want, but for me this was the easiest way to do it.  Trust me, this will be a life saver!  

    I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but it's the reality.  People will piss you off to no end when it comes to the rsvps.  All you can do is take a deep breath and get on with your day.  The wedding will fly by so fast anyway that you'll forget all about the rsvp stuff.
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  • strawberry5889strawberry5889
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Understood......sucks but oh well im going to have fun on my day regardless
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  • PrettyCW5PrettyCW5
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    My guests can RSVP online through our weddingwire website or call our google voicemail number. I do know that some will probably not rsvp and I'm prepared to call them and get a solid yes or no. We're doing a plated meal so my headcount is very important if people want a seat and want to eat.

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  • SweetgnjSweetgnj member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_avoiding-rsvp-nightmare?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:011bf98e-a95e-4c7f-9053-0cddee7aaeb3Post:f9b2ef3a-99c4-4032-a0fb-f8746b9e06c3">Re: Avoiding An RSVP Nightmare</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl...I hate to break it to you but unfortunately this will happen.  It happens to everyone.  It doesn't matter what you do, you'll always have people who don't send back their rsvp, they won't follow directions on the rsvp (as if it's that hard), you'll have people show up who didn't rsvp, you'll have people who rsvp'd but won't show up, and the list goes on. For most, the amount of people who pull a no show and the people who just show up tends to balance itself out.  We had both the traditional rsvp method (card with stamped envelope) and voicemail through google voice.  It's free and you can cancel it when you're done with the rsvps. All you can do is control what you can control.  I called/texted people who didn't send back rsvps on time to see if they were coming or not.  After that, if I didn't hear from them then I took that as a no.  If someone doesn't follow directions and rsvps for someone who wasn't invited, immediately get in contact with them and tell them that sorry that person wasn't invited so they cannot attend.  You'll have some rational people who'll understand, and then you have others that won't like it.  For those that don't like it, well then they can stay home.  A<strong>nd most importantly, MAKE SURE YOU CODE YOUR RSVPS!!!!!!!   I can't express this enough!  Even though it's totally obvious, you'll still have folks who won't write their name on the rsvp card or the handwriting may not be legible.  The way I did it was I had my guest list on a spreadsheet and the number that corresponded with their name in the spreadsheet was the same number that was on the back of the rsvp card very lightly written in pencil in the lower righthand corner.  You can come up with any code that you want, but for me this was the easiest way to do it.  Trust me, this will be a life saver!  </strong> I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but it's the reality.  People will piss you off to no end when it comes to the rsvps.  All you can do is take a deep breath and get on with your day.  The wedding will fly by so fast anyway that you'll forget all about the rsvp stuff.
    Posted by kiyamurph[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Never thought of this!  Great advice...

    </div>
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  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    RSVP drama is inevitable. I had everyones name on the rsvp with no room for them to add anyone, and I STILL had someone come to me and tell me that they were  bringing a date. There is always at least one. 

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  • MarryingmyKnightMarryingmyKnight
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ugh!  Don't even want to talk about it.  I'm glad the RSVP day is over and if I didn't hear from you,  you are assummed to be not be coming.
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  • nitaashanti78nitaashanti78
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I love the code idea!  I hadn't even thought of that.  That's going to come in really handy.
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