Do you have to give a plus 1?

shoebie · May 2011

Do you have to give a plus 1 if someone is not dating anyone? I have so many single friend that it would prob. add 50 ppl i dont know to our guest list and almost another 4 thousand dollars for people i dont know.... Was thinking of just putting all of our friends at tables together .......

LesPaul · May 2011

No. Generally, +1s are for spouses and committed SOs. If you have room in your guest list, it's polite to offer a +1 to a single person, but not necessary.

ETA: Especially in the situation you added - your friends would have people to sit with and enjoy, and wouldn't be 'alone'. What you describe is fine.

ShakeUpTampa · May 2011

I have a handful of friends I am giving a +1 because they are currently starting to date someone but this might change when invites go out. STD's are not saying + GUEST but invites would, so they have until Nov to be in a relationship before I start addressing things. A few friends said they prefer to come stag and mingle :-)

CassieeK · May 2011

I don't think anyone will be upset by it, especially since they have a group of friends to be with.

kgorman307 · May 2011

They will have plenty of fun without inviting a date they barely know - finding a wedding date when you aren't dating someone can be stressful and awkward. I think not inviting a +1 and seating the single friends together is the way to go on this one.

shoebie · May 2011

Thanks girls !

IndigoRain · May 2011

I did it for all my friends, and I'm glad I did since one that wasn't even dating at the time I sent out the invitations is engaged, and others have started dating and I'd love to meet their significant other. I'd say if you don't do a +1, and after you send out the invites you know they started dating let them know they can bring their signficant other.

kw44932 · May 2011

I would say if you know they're single, then you don't have to give a plus-1 and they'd be comfortable sitting with other singles that they know. However, I feel that if they're in a committed relationship, then your friends should be able to bring their SO. I was invited to a wedding last fall. My boyfriend and I had been together for nearly 2 years at the time of the wedding, living together, etc. and my friend didn't give me a plus-1. It was very awkward for me because I feel like I should be able to celebrate someone else's love with my SO by my side as well. She also had me and two others that I knew very well sitting at a table with two couples, which made it even more uncomfortable for me. Just something to think about!

rb30966 · May 2011

This is generally a no (with certain exceptions). If you don't know them well as a couple and they are not engaged or married, you are not required to invite both of them. I have a co-worker who has a live-in boyfriend, but I have never met him and so I am inviting her only. I have only one close friend who is invited with her boyfriend, but she and I have been friends for years and their relationship is clearly serious so I feel he should be invited. The distinction here is not inviting anyone "and guest". Always find out the proper name of the invited guest and use that. (read: if you don't even know the person's name, it's probably not serious enough to worry about) That way it is clear that you are inviting them as a couple, not just your friend and whoever they want to bring as a plus one.

asialee2 · May 2011

We have a small venue so if we invite someone that is in a relationship - then ok, bring your SO... but if they are single and just want a tag along then hell no. We don't have the space or the budget for randoms.

cgawley · May 2011

I had this same question in my mind. I know for my fiancee's male friends we are going to do "plus 1" because if they are single it gives them a chance to invite someone and persue them. For some of my friends I just added their name. People should be thankful they are invited to the wedding. They are your guests and should not expect anything!

mica178 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_give-plus-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:90c93cee-6afd-43cc-ab5a-2349c071551fPost:c50f4247-82de-4cc1-97e5-bff086128a18">Re: Do you have to give a plus 1?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is generally a no (with certain exceptions).<strong> If you don't know them well as a couple and they are not engaged or married, you are not required to invite both of them.</strong> I have a co-worker who has a live-in boyfriend, but I have never met him and so I am inviting her only. I have only one close friend who is invited with her boyfriend, but she and I have been friends for years and their relationship is clearly serious so I feel he should be invited. The distinction here is not inviting anyone "and guest". Always find out the proper name of the invited guest and use that. (read: if you don't even know the person's name, it's probably not serious enough to worry about) That way it is clear that you are inviting them as a couple, not just your friend and whoever they want to bring as a plus one.
Posted by rb30966[/QUOTE]

<div>No, that's wrong. If a couple is in a committed relationship, you should invite both of them, regardless of whether you've met the significant other.</div>

finlayc · May 2011

We are giving our bridal party plus ones and our siblings over 18 who have been with their SO for a significant period of time. For the rest of the guest they have to be engaged or married.

brisendm · May 2011

To have to attend a wedding without being able to bring a guest would be awkward. Weddings are a romantic evening. A wedding reception is essentially a "ball" or a "dance" that your favorite people are attending in celebration of your union. In my opinion, if you don't do plus ones you end up with wall flowers. People that are sitting at their table watching everyone else dance because they don't have anyone to dance with! Or worse, moping around on the edges of the dance floor hoping that some other minus one would notice them and ask them! Not everyone will bring a date, but it should always be an option.

awarm014 · May 2011

Yes because it only adds up to a few people on our list, and those few people do not know each other.

lalaith50 · May 2011

It's very nice to do if the people won't know many other people. I wouldn't have fun at a wedding reception by myself without knowing many people or being able to bring a date.

Do you have to give a plus 1?

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