Grudges: I hold em'

pinkpinot · November 2010

Soooo are you holding any grudges? If so, what is it?

During our wedding dinner, J accidentally spilled butter on his brother C's shirt (C was a GM). J does not get along very good with C's girlfriend (nobody does actually but that is another story) C's girlfriend had a major meltdown about the butter in the middle of our dinner. Now you have to understand we didn't have a DJ or anything, there were just 18 of us stuffing our faces and talking so the room was very quiet. C's girlfriend stands up and screams: "J you are such an ungrateful $@#^&*! That shirt was $40.00 and you ruined it." She screamed a bunch of other profanities and then dramatically left the restaurant. I wanted to die. It was SO embarrassing. Who behaves that way at a wedding dinner - in Jamaica of all places!? Worst of all? My boss came out for the wedding and he must think I hangout with a pretty trashy crowd (I don't, that trash just happens to be dating H's childhood friend).

Soooo yeah I'm still holding a grudge against her because she sucks and embarrassed me.

Your turn.

mkrupar · November 2010

Yuck Pinot! Butter wouldn't ruin the shirt, you just need to know how to clean it.

I don't think I'm holding any grudges, but wanted to let you know that that was pretty sucky of GM's GF to lose her shiit like that.

FutureMrsTR · November 2010

My cousin and her boyfriend were hungover at our Saturday evening wedding and didn't get up from their table ONCE to dance or visit with family. And we had had a lot of fun with them a couple months before when we went to visit (went out to a bar and DANCED) so we were really looking forward to them coming and having fun.

H's uncle brought him a joint as a wedding present.

Those are just the wedding related ones. I'm sure if I think about it, I have plenty of NWR grudges. I, too, am a grudge holder.

mandysmear · November 2010

I'm quite forgiving. Unless someone repeats behaviour I won't hold a grudge.

shortee426 · November 2010

I'm holding a grudge against FMIL. She keeps trying to add people to the guest list. The discussion has been had multiple times, which I can't stand. Show some respect and stop trying to add people! (Her initial list was 120 people, when we said we were inviting 150 max)

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:a7b4dacc-89e4-4264-bcd5-adec97885206">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't think of any specific grudges that I hold (at least not off the top of my head, anyway), and I'm usually pretty laid back and give people 2nd (and 3rd and 4th) chances, but once I determine that I don't like you, it's difficult to make it back to my good side. There are few people that I truly dislike, but those few, I despise them.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

I'm with you. I rarely hold grudges. And there are only a handful of people I hate - all people that I work with cause they are immature jerks.

salt78 · November 2010

I think I'd definitely be holding a grudge in that situation also. Yikes.

No grudges for me. At least none right now anyway.

aleighk1 · November 2010

I hold a grudge against FI's ex-girlfriend. There, I said it. She still talks to FI's family and when we see her out in public she is usually drunk and acting like a fool but will go back and tell FMIL things I didn't actually do.

So yeah, I hate her.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

Loopy - Does your MIL usually do stuff like that, or was this really out of the blue?

ehathewa · November 2010

I'm grudging on my aunt who claimed that coming to my wedding "just wasn't in the budget this year" A week before the wedding she posted a bunch of photos on FB of her "spur of the moment" trip to NYC.

My father (her brother) is also holding the very same grudge.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:a7b4dacc-89e4-4264-bcd5-adec97885206">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't think of any specific grudges that I hold (at least not off the top of my head, anyway), and I'm usually pretty laid back and give people 2nd (and 3rd and 4th) chances, but once I determine that I don't like you, it's difficult to make it back to my good side. There are few people that I truly dislike, but those few, I despise them.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

I'm basically like this too. But just because I give someone chances doesn't mean I TOTALLY forget about their past discretions. Like, currently my friend has borrowed a rather expensive feather bed. She tends to not return things, mostly because she misplaces them, and I now regret lending it to her. But oh well. We'll see what happens.

mkrupar · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:876cf326-42d5-440a-b625-8f190997e621">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]I hold a grudge against FI's ex-girlfriend. There, I said it. She still talks to FI's family and when we see her out in public she is usually drunk and acting like a fool but will go back and tell FMIL things I didn't actually do. So yeah, I hate her.
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

Ugh, that sucks. I lucked out and never have to see Lucas's ex because she's in TX and even if we visit his family, I doubt I'll ever run into her. His family hated her anyway, so it's not like there's still contact.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:6ca653a2-d203-4abe-b5e5-ad5350669298">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grudges: I hold em' : Ugh, that sucks. I lucked out and never have to see Lucas's ex because she's in TX and even if we visit his family, I doubt I'll ever run into her. His family hated her anyway, so it's not like there's still contact.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

My husband's ex lives near my office, BUT his family also hated her. He invited all their friends from college to the wedding, but not her, thank god.

ohwhynot · November 2010

Shortee, this is probably a really stupid question, but who are those people in your signature picture?

Anyway, grudges: I am still really, really pissed at my brother and his wife for the way they reacted when I asked them not to come to the wedding. I knew I was being hurtful, I knew they were going to be hurt & upset, but I'd hoped we could discuss it like adults. It was a fucking nightmare.

aleighk1 · November 2010

You guys are lucky that your ILs hated their exs. I wish that was the case for me.

Wrkn925 · November 2010

My entire family held a grudge against my Uncle's wife after he died. She freaked out when he died unexpectedly, auctioned off their home, the home he bought for his parents to live in, his farm, and everything he owned. She packed everything up and moved to Michigan.
It was five years after his death before I finally googled her and buried the hatchet.
Some of the family members are still mad. She said some hateful things before she bailed.
It was a full year before I told any of my family members that I called her.

Loopyseven · November 2010

Veg - she's a PITA. She seems (and this is my un-trained opinion) to get all of her self worth/self-esteem from whether or not people demonstrate they love her ... in whichever way she's dreamed up in her head that they need to do it. If H doesn't call her, she calls him and cries to him how he doesn't call b/c he doesn't love her. If we go over for dinner and don't stay long afterward, it's cause we "just come for the food and we don't really love her" (um... or we have to work in the morning, and left the dog at home?) At one point during the planning process she complained to H that she felt like "just another guest" - and I tried to involve her in some stuff, but we have totally different tastes, and I was working 2 jobs and planning a wedding so I did a lot of stuff alone at 2 in the morning.. The day of, she came to the salon with all the girls and my mom, but once the guys showed up, she went down by H, and I heard it was because "she didn't think I WANTED her upstairs with me" - um... because I wasn't gushing over her on MY wedding day?? WTF MIL. - so the random videographer was just icing on the cake at that point.

cengle · November 2010

Ha, one of my H's ex-girlfriends actually was invited-and came (with her FI)-to our wedding.

Loopyseven · November 2010

Shortee - I too am wondering who is in the wedding pic in your sig, if your wedding isn't for 7 more months.

TTiger03 · November 2010

OWN (and Loopyseven)- Shortee's picture is Lily and Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother".

I think it was 2 seasons ago but I might be wrong.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:250eafb5-5a20-43e3-baaa-d40d113e6441">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]Veg - she's a PITA. She seems (and this is my un-trained opinion) to get all of her self worth/self-esteem from whether or not people demonstrate they love her ... in whichever way she's dreamed up in her head that they need to do it. If H doesn't call her, she calls him and cries to him how he doesn't call b/c he doesn't love her. If we go over for dinner and don't stay long afterward, it's cause we "just come for the food and we don't really love her" (um... or we have to work in the morning, and left the dog at home?) At one point during the planning process she complained to H that she felt like "just another guest" - and I tried to involve her in some stuff, but we have totally different tastes, and I was working 2 jobs and planning a wedding so I did a lot of stuff alone at 2 in the morning.. The day of, she came to the salon with all the girls and my mom, but once the guys showed up, she went down by H, and I heard it was because "she didn't think I WANTED her upstairs with me" - um... because I wasn't gushing over her on MY wedding day?? WTF MIL. - so the random videographer was just icing on the cake at that point.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

Okay, so yeah, she's BSC. Luckily my FMIL is exceedingly laid back (well, lazy is a better description). I love her to death, but she is one of the laziest people I know. I suppose it's a good counterbalance to my own mother, who is BSC herself.

ohwhynot · November 2010

Loopy, I'm glad I am not the only one! I just assumed it was Shortee's wedding picture.

jem8407 · November 2010

i would be a little upset as well for her making a scene but i would just not worry about her, no need to let her age your skin

kikibaby · November 2010

Wedding-related, I'm still mad that SMIL couldn't seem to smile for a single wedding photo. I feel like she ruined any she was in.

Loopyseven · November 2010

OWN - I see it now, and I love that show, but without the context (and when I think of Lily and Marshall's wedding I think of him with a shaved spot down the middle of his hair) I didn't recognize it.

Veg - Yup, BSC. I am sure I'll have some fantastic MIL stories over the years.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

Loopy, can I just say that when you call me "Veg" my brain reads "Vag"? Lol.

aleighk1 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:bc9b96c4-818c-463d-81e1-b6e94e0f9419">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]Wedding-related, I'm still mad that SMIL couldn't seem to smile for a single wedding photo. I feel like she ruined any she was in.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

<div>FI's family never smiles in pictures. I'm nervous about how mine are going to look with them looking all pissed off.</div>

Loopyseven · November 2010

Veggie - My aim was to bring dirty thoughts to your head

J/K. I can type more letters.

Loopyseven · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:5f6e170e-6b4f-4a41-811a-83763c1c9751">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grudges: I hold em' : FI's family never smiles in pictures. I'm nervous about how mine are going to look with them looking all pissed off.
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

<div>I haven't seen my pro pics yet, but I'm scared that in my stress and aggravation over random videographer lady (see initial grudge post above) that I am going to look pissed off in all the family shots from our wedding.</div>

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grudges-hold-em?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b4b7b19-acdf-4627-851b-00b01bd29b78Post:77ba8e5e-29d4-40aa-a115-776c6c7cc8bc">Re: Grudges: I hold em'</a>:
[QUOTE]Veggie - My aim was to bring dirty thoughts to your head :) J/K. I can type more letters.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

Oh, I don't care. I just found myself reading "Vag"..... Doh, no "Veg", as in she's talking to me.

baystateapple · November 2010

My FIL decided not to show up to the wedding until thirty seconds before I was supposed to walk down the aisle, which made my MIL cry, because she thought he deliberately wasn't coming (he's estranged from the entire family).

H is definitely holding more of a grudge than me, but I still don't understand why he had to pick THAT DAY to be a gigantic prick.

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