If I was her bridesmaid - does she HAVE to be mine?
I have a 'friend' who asked me to be her bridesmaid - which I was. The thing is, I knew going into it that she had no one else so she asked an old friend to be her MOH (who was in the same situation as me - knew she had no one else) and myself to be in her wedding party. So this girl, she's fairly nice, but she really did not care at all that it was specifically us two in her wedding party - as long as she had someone.
During the entire process she was pretty rude to both the MOH and myself, she wouldn't let us bring out significant others to her wedding, claiming mine was JUST my boyfriend (thank you I've been with him twice as long as she has been with her new husband, plus we are also common-law). And at one point I told her when I get married, because I'm Jewish, I wasn't sure if I would have bridesmaids - because traditionally they dont, she said to me "well you have to have them because I have to be one of them."
Anyway - long story to say... I am engaged now with my 'boyfriend' and we have now decided we do want bridesmaids and groomsmen - but only because we want our close friends to be included in 'our' day. The problem is, I don't want to ask her - I know why she asked us, and I don't have that problem. I have people I care about and that care about me that can be in our wedding party.
So I'm wondering people's opinions... do I ask her because she asked me?
Re: If I was her bridesmaid - does she HAVE to be mine?
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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Whether or not you should invite her at all depends on how close the two of you are, how many people you're inviting, etc. Again, you're not obligated to invite her just because you were at or in her wedding. Pretend that never happened, and then do whatever you'd do based purely on your relationship with her.
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"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Thanks everyone - I probably should have read through some related posts before asking such a common question
alright - she's out. But I'll probbaly invite her to the wedding.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
I was engaged while she was planning, and she constantly made comments about being a BM for me when it was my turn ...and even then I knew I really didn't want her to be in my WP.
Wedding parties are not tit for tat ... just because you were in her WP, doesn't mean you "owe" her a spot in yours. Choose who you want and stick to your guns if she tries pushing or guilting you. Just don't give a "This is why you're not a BM" speech, and you're good to go.
As for a wedding invitation, you also don't owe her that, especially if you're no longer friends ... but on the same note, you do have some time to finalize that decision. I wound up inviting my nightmare bride (DH and I were good friends with her husband) and I barely spent 5 minutes with her at my wedding ... so if she wanted to be rude to me, she didn't have a chance. Just some food for thought.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
My MOH is getting married next spring/summer. She didn't ask me to be one of her BMs. This actually did kind of hurt my feelings because I obviously thought we were good enough friends that I wanted her to be my MOH. It just kind of made me feel like she didn't see our friendship at the level that I saw it at, and that's dissapointing.
Oh well.
One of my friends assumed she would be in my wedding party since I was in hers 4 years ago. After she found out I was engaged, she called and asked, "Who else will be in the wedding party besides me?" I hadn't asked her. I told her I was just having an MOH and that I had already asked another friend to whom I am much closer. This girl stewed (and I think may still be stewing) about the fact that I didn't ask her. She RSVP'd "no" to my wedding as a result because she feels that I "must hate her." She may be hurt, but we're not as close as we were 4-5 years ago, and I'm not going to guilt myself into having her in it just because I was in hers.
Definitely don't let this girl guilt you into it either. In fact, if you aren't really that close anymore, you don't have to invite her at all.
[QUOTE]The fastest road to drama is to ask someone you don't particularly like to be in your wedding. Go with your gut, don't make her a BM.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
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</div><div>uggggh I'm having this issue with my FI sister!!</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://lovelydayforawedding.blogspot.com/">http://lovelydayforawedding.blogspot.com/</a></div>
I was waiting for your response. I am not engaged but my boyfriend and I both agree on a small wedding. So I only want a MOH and BM. I was a BM in one of my really close friends wedding, but I she will not be a part of my wedding party. We are close I don't want this too damper our relationship especially since her twin sister ( my best friend) will be a bridesmaid.
I think if I were in your position I would definitely not feel any doubt that I didnt want her in my wedding party. Maybe even the wedding. As you have said, your wedding party is a compilation of your closest friends that you want to be a part of your special day.
I encourage you to feel guilt free about excluding her from any aspect of your wedding that you choose.
She's actually not in the bridal party at all. She's going to be doing me a huge favor by taking pictures for me with my digital camera.
If you want this girl to do something like that for you, go for it, but she doesn't have to be in your bridal party if you don't want her to be.
I did have that friend as most other girls who totally thought she was a BM. I felt bad at first because I knew she valued the friendship more than I did but I'm just closer to other girls. I was nice enough to give her an explanation but then when this became the topic of conversation everytime we talked I finally just said "I made my decision and that's that, I'm not changing it and I'm done talking about it, end of subject." She finally dropped it. I do care for her and she is a good, old friend so I have her saying our dinner prayer.