S/O Minors and Alcohol

ExpatPumpkin · December 2009

I don't understand the hysteria over kids and alcohol... We see questions on here about keeping kids away from the bar every now and then. They always leave me scratching my head...

Is it really that big a deal if a twelve-year-old sneaks a sip? I've lived in several countries, and this seems to be an American paranoia... Example: In Europe they sometimes give kids watered down glasses of wine with dinner in order to teach them responsible drinking.

What do you think? Is the issue really that serious? Or are some people freaking out for no reason?

Brie2010 · December 2009

I should also add we just never had alcohol in the house. My dad used to drink beer but he died when I was little, and my mom just doesn't like the taste. So, it was also not an issue for that reason.

lyndausvi · December 2009

I do not get it either. Yes there could be libility issue at a venue. But really it's the 16-20 years olds you need to be worried about not the under 14 age group.

laurenclaire1386 · December 2009

My parents were always very lenient about alcohol in high school with two caveats: don't drink outside their home, and certainly never drive, and don't get shitcanned. They taught me to handle alcohol responsibly and I think a lot of parents are way too uptight about this. If you expose your teenager to alcohol and impress upon them that it's fine in moderation, then you end up with a lot less binge drinking college freshman. The people I knew in college who stayed drunk and never made it to class were kids who's parents had a no tolerance policy on alcohol. IMO, totally sheltering kids from alcohol is not the best course of action.

lyndausvi · December 2009

My parents have a HUGE liquor cabinet. Always have. Niether one really drinks. My mom will a little more than dad, but only in certain social situtation. We all knew it was there, never thought about touching it though.

at the age of 5 or so we started getting a little wine with dinner on holidays. My brothers caught on and keep asking to have dinner in the dinning room. It took a while to figure out that all of our holiday meals were in the dinning room, so to them meals in the dinning room meant wine.

lilgina64 · December 2009

What is unusual in my area is that a lot of the kids who's parents were really psycho about not even being around alcohol, ended up smoking a lot of pot and doing cocaine. They found other methods of "recreation" which were often worse than if they could have just had a few beers.

It's weird how a little bit goes a long way. Everyone I know was allowed to drink a little bit underage. and I fully intend to let my children drink the same way I did. My husband is scottish and he's been out at bars since he was 14. It's all cultural. Americans are nutso about it most times and I still can't work out why.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

My mom would let me sip her champagne on special occassions, or Bailey's at Christmas, when I was a pre-teen. I don't think it's that big of a deal. The parents that are strict about alcohol will watch their kids at a wedding reception where it's served, and those that aren't won't think it's a big deal.

I don't know any brides IRL that were concerned about having minors at a wedding where alcohol is served.

lyndausvi · December 2009

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b9cc03b3127ccef8b8f256677600000030O01AbOXLZq4bsQe3nwM/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D720/ry%3D480/

Here is my first drink. These days someone would call CPS on Grandma.

mandysmear · December 2009

Drinking age for me was 18. I started drinking on the weekends at parties when I was 16. There were 4 of us girls and we all took turns being DD. All but 1 of us parents' knew about it and they knew our system therefore were very proud of us for being responsible.

Our parents would allow us to host parties. They had the mentality that if they're going to do it, might as well let them do it where it's safe.

And for the record: the one friend who's parents didn't let her drink, she was a DRUNK at parties. Wasted, we actually had to start assigning someone else to DD on her nights to drive because she'd drink anyway. She also started doing coke at the age of 17. I strongly believe there's some kind of link there...

sarahmk5 · December 2009

I grew up being able to have a glass of wine at big family dinners over holidays. I don't think it's a big deal if a 12-year-old sneaks a sip - most kids don't like the taste of alcohol anyway.

kikibaby · December 2009

I'd love to hear from the person who voted that kids should never even taste alcohol....

Come out, come out wherever you are lurky loo....

mocha beans · December 2009

I can see being nervous about it at a reception where the venue can have it's license pulled because of underage drinkers.

But I don't generally agree with the not-a-drop policy until you're 21, then you can have a gallon. It just sets you up for being completely clueless about what it does AND being expected to be responsible, when you may not even know where the limit is.

It'd be like having no driver's training to get a driver's license, parents not being able to teach their kids how to drive on public roads, and then tossing them the keys at 16 and saying, "Okay, you're 16 and old enough to drive. Here drive where ever you want whenever you want." No sane adult would do that to a teenager, but why do we expect it to happen that way with alcohol?

Mom would let me have a bit of her Guiness (not a good thing to start with, at.all) or a very weak screwdriver. Dad had the no tolerance policy. When I raise kids, if I do, I will let them have a bit of wine or beer when they're youngish. But when it's part of a meal or event, and always under close supervision.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

I would not allow my kids to binge drink, or have their friends come party at my house.

However, I was also allowed a few sips of wine at holiday dinners from the age of 6 or so onwards. But only in our home or our grandparents' home. My mom let me taste her beer when I was about 8, after I asked, and I hated it!

I never, ever saw my parents drink to intoxication. However, they would usually have beer or wine with dinner. I think the fact that they modeled good behavior around alscohol was instrumental in showing me that there are other options besides binge drinking. I really didn't drink much in college at all, and only once or so in high school. I think moderate alcohol and letting kids see it is a lot better than people who ban alcohol and treat it like they would heroin. After all, kids will readily be able to buy alcohol on their own someday...

Kati0105 · December 2009

Lynda, that pic is awesome

mwhitson14 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minors-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7e6b457-949c-4b95-8b7c-d6602562181ePost:bd9295f9-ac13-49ce-bad0-9900de53fb53">Re: S/O Minors and Alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom was really strict about absolutely no drinking under her watch. It wasn't an "alcohol is bad" issue, it was a "we don't break the law in this house even though we don't agree with it" thing.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

This. My parents also never had alchohol in the house until both my brother and I were 16 or so, I don't really know why though. Even though my mom was really strict about alcohol, I was never tempted to get wasted or even drink a lot.

I know we say, oh, just be upfront with your kids and they won't go crazy, blah blah. But I think it also depends on the kid. I'm not a drinker; I like an occasionaly glass of wine, martini, whatever. My brother, however, gets drunk several nights a week. I don't really think it has anything to do with our upbringing, just our personalities.

bmerante · December 2009

My family never had alcohol in the house. I have actually never even seen my parents take a drink. I guess it is just how I was raised. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you aren't getting drunk, but I've never been inclined to drinking. I had my "rebellious" streak my first semester at college and THAT didn't even amount to much. It was a once a month deal and then I was done. I guess it depends on the family. I won't even be 21 at my wedding. That isn't the reason that we aren't having any alcohol at the wedding, but it counts for something.

Soon2BeMrsR09 · January 2010

test.

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