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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Help! RE: asking family to be in wedding

My brother and his (new) wife and my boyfriend and I are not close. No issues or past problems , we just arent close. They live 45 min away, lead a totally different life then us and dont have a lot to say. When we told them we were expecting another baby ( after 2 years of failed fertility reatments) they just looked at us and said "OK", which is so them. We want to have FUN people in our wedding party who will ADD to our special day.

 I feel like I have to ask them to be in the wedding party, but my Boyfriend says if I dont want them I dont have to ask them.

Is there anyway to ask someone if they want to be in the wedding, but let them know that you are perfectly OK with it if they chose not to be??  
Sinisa & Debbie. Joined together in Friendship- united Forever in Love. Proud Parents to : Luca 3-17-2008 & Marco 1-27-2012. Mommy and Daddy are getting Married on August 19th, 2012! Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Help! RE: asking family to be in wedding

  • edited December 2011
    You do not have to ask family to be in your wedding party! I am sure some people think that is rude to not, but you want to have the people closest to you in your main party. For example, I am not having my FI's sister in my wedding party just because we are not that close and at different stages in life. However we may put her as a reader or something.

    You brother could always be an usher, reader, or something else if you do not want him in the wedding party.

    :) good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    Ditto PP, don't feel obligated to ask certain people to be in your wedding party.  You should have people in your wedding party who will love and support you on your wedding day!  IMO that trumps blood relation. 
    Hitched! 09.30.11
  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I too don't think you're required to ask family members to be part of the WP. The point of having a WP is to have people who you love and are close to stand with you.
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  • edited December 2011
    Do not ask them out of obligation. That is a bad idea.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am not asking my bro or his other half to be part of our bridal party even though I was part of my SIL's bridal party. I might ask my brother to be an usher and escort my Grandma  to her seat but that is it. I just don't know how much to count on him for... It's a long story but let's just say we have drifted apart since he got married...
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