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Wedding Etiquette Forum
feffany
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What to do?
My BF and I have been dating for a few years and his brother and his new fiance got together around the same time. We are not engaged yet, but his brother recently proposed. My BF and I had our wedding date picked out about a year ago (and announced it) and I was so sad to find out that my future BIL and SIL chose a date that was 5 weeks before ours.
As our wedding is out of town, and many of the bridal party will be the same, naturally we are moving our date. Not only do I not want to compete, but I don't want my decor etc. to be compared to the wedding a month earlier. I don't want it to be hard on the family financially.
I joked about making our date a month before theirs, but I would never do that. Others suggested marrying on the special date and having the celebration etc. some other time.....still not sure how that would work.
What do the rest of you think? Do I not have privilege to the date because I'm not even engaged yet? How do I counteract this without being tacky? TIA
As our wedding is out of town, and many of the bridal party will be the same, naturally we are moving our date. Not only do I not want to compete, but I don't want my decor etc. to be compared to the wedding a month earlier. I don't want it to be hard on the family financially.
I joked about making our date a month before theirs, but I would never do that. Others suggested marrying on the special date and having the celebration etc. some other time.....still not sure how that would work.
What do the rest of you think? Do I not have privilege to the date because I'm not even engaged yet? How do I counteract this without being tacky? TIA
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Re: What to do?
Is this real?
[QUOTE]My BF and I have been dating for a few years and his brother and his new fiance got together around the same time. We are not engaged yet, but his brother recently proposed. My BF and I had our wedding date picked out about a year ago (and announced it) and I was so sad to find out that my future BIL and SIL chose a date that was 5 weeks before ours . As our wedding is out of town, and many of the bridal party will be the same, naturally we are moving our date. Not only do I not want to compete, but I don't want my decor etc. to be compared to the wedding a month earlier. I don't want it to be hard on the family financially. I joked about making our date a month before theirs, but I would never do that. Others suggested marrying on the special date and having the celebration etc. some other time.....still not sure how that would work. What do the rest of you think? Do I not have privilege to the date because I'm not even engaged yet? How do I counteract this without being tacky? TIA
Posted by feffy11[/QUOTE]
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If this is real: most venues will switch your date without you losing your deposit.
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lol how did you know?
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#2 - When you're getting married, you get 1 day. Not a week, not a month, not 6 months.
#3 - If your guests are going to compare decor, etc., they're going to do it regardless of how far apart the weddings are.
#4 - Any form of "counteracting" will be seen as tacky and petty. Your best course of action is to be happy for them and worry about your own wedding as if theirs wasn't a factor...because it really isn't.
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Their "wedding" is now within two weeks of ours...and on FI's birthday. Isn't she a delight?!?!
Hm...this all sounds strangly familiar...
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
[QUOTE]Do you think you have to have a ring in order to be engaged, because if youve set a wedding date... youre engaged. 5 weeks also isnt that big of a deal.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
Thank you to the first person who actually offered a thought rather than a teasing comment.
[QUOTE]You're SOL. Same thing happened to me, except I was the actual engaged one, and FI's cousin's crazy gf just DECIDED it was time to get married! No ring, no proposal, but she DID select her BM's and buy herself a dress. Their "wedding" is now within two weeks of ours...and on FI's birthday. Isn't she a delight?!?! Hm...this all sounds strangly familiar...
Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]
wow that's crazy!
[QUOTE]Asking people to be in your bridal party when you're not "officially" engaged yet (although to most people, if you've picked a date and announced it, you ARE engaged) and are 20 months out may not have been the brightest idea.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]
don't worry, I didn't ask anyone.