How long is too long between ceremony and reception?

tsvoboda1980 · September 2010

The place I want to have my ceremony requires that you are out by 3pm and the place I want to have my reception can't start until like 6pm or 6:30. Is that too long of a wait? Most of my guests will be from out of town.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

IMO, I believe that is a little too long. I am sure if you post this on the etiquette board you will get mixed opinions.

I think most of your guests will be very hungry and probably go get something to eat on their own, which would defeat the purpose of you having a buffet or sit down meal.

Can you look at some other places for your reception? I don't think the ceremony will be the problem. We got married at 1pm, had to have everything out of the church by 4pm (which was more than enough time) for 5pm mass and our reception/cocktail hour started at 3:30. We had no time restriction on when we had to be out of our reception venue.

We did not choose a place that had limits for that reason, although I looked at many that we liked but decided against them for that reason. We served dinner at 5:00 pm, it worked out perfectly. Most of our guest left by 7-8pm, but we had the place the entire night. I didn't feel it was nice to "kick" guests out after a certain time. Places like that do it to get more money so they can book multiple events in the same day. I didn't like that idea at all.

nnoble4 · September 2010

I agree with Missy, I think that is too long. Especially with a lot of OOT guests. Can your reception spot handle a cocktail hour somewhere else before 6pm? You may also be able to try to get the ceremony spot and the reception spot to move, even if just a little each, which would make the gap between shorter. I would consider other options before having a 3 hour gap.

Think about your timeline. Your ceremony will probably start around 1:30 or 2, lasts about an hour or so. Then you have at least a 3 hour gap, then (I'm assuming) a 4 hour reception from 6pm-10pm.

Also, some people are rude, and may skip the ceremony, and just show up to the reception at 6pm. Keep that in mind.

amalia0525 · September 2010

I agree... thats too long. Im sorry. I think that if you had a wait that was that long people would go out and snack on stuff or just not show up for your reception.
I cant believe that your venues are that restricted. Never heard of that .
Good luck

tsvoboda1980 · September 2010

Well I'm looking at Franklin Park Conservatory and I have to be married b/n 10-3 time frame and the earliest The Westin can start the reception is 6pm.

., I have been having so much trouble picking a venue it is driving me insane!

[Deleted User] · September 2010

Have you tried looking at having your ceremony and reception in the same venue? Have you looked at the Darby House, Makoy Center or any of the local country clubs? I know the DH and Makoy center all have food and beverage minimums (at least they did last year when we were planning). But we had our reception at a country club, and like I said, we had it all night for a flat rate rental fee. I thought that was the best way to go after almost going crazy looking at venues.

jdcwedding1 · September 2010

3-3.5 hours is pretty long. Could you perhaps find a different venue for either the ceremony or reception? Mine has a bit of a time difference (ceremony starts at 3:30 and reception at 6), but there is a small drive and such. Maybe finding a different ceremony venue could cut the time down.

Myroni03 · September 2010

My best advice is to pose the question to yourself, would you be annoyed to get all dressed up, go to the church to enjoy a nice ceremony, and then be required to "hang out" for 3.5 hours all dressed up, and then go to the reception?

I know I get frustrated when this happens b/c even as an in-town guest, its frustrating to get pretty then go home and hang out for several hours to get re-dressed or go have cocktails/apps and try to kill three hours and ruin my dinner.

As an out of town guest, I remember as a kid my family went to a wedding in the AM and because the reception didn't start 'til 6 we just went home early b/c we still needed to be in bed at a reasonable hour. I'm sure that would be a planning nightmare to figure out who will be able to make it to both reception and ceremony so you aren't stuck paying for tons of extra food or chairs.

If I remember correctly its possible to rent multiple rooms at FPC for ceremony, cocktails, and reception area for the ease and comfort of your guests.

kimcatbride · September 2010

I agree.....too long. Maybe you could have a cocktail reception at a restaurant or lounge between the 2 sites to break things up a bit? Just a thought. Good luck with this decision. I'm sure you will find a solution

green795 · September 2010

Although I'm sure both are important to you, but would you rather have your ceremony at FPC or your reception at the Westin? We kind of ran into similar issues. For us, it was all about the reception venue and our ceremony venue just fell into place from there. So, I would suggest discussing with your fiance which location is more important. To me, the Westin would be the one to keep because you can find beautiful downtown/close outdoor ceremony locations other than FPC. Booking venues is one of the hardest parts of wedding planning, so good luck to you!

ehighley · September 2010

I actually disagree with everyone else...but maybe I am biased

We are getting married at FPC and having our reception at the Loft at Smith Brothers, so we are having a (short) 2:30 ceremony and our reception starts at 6:00. The whole issue of a large time gap between the two was something we definitely thought about, but here are the reasons we went ahead and decided to go for it:

-I was dead set on having our ceremony in the Palm House, and my FI fell in love with the Loft, so we were really torn between the two venues. Like you mentioned, the daytime rental at FPC only goes until 3:00, so we really had no choice but to accept the fact we'd have a time gap if we went with both.
-FPC allows your guests to tour the Conservatory for free following your ceremony. Almost all of our guests will be OOT, so I am playing this up and mentioned it on our wedding website and am going to add a line on the programs that invites them to take a "self-guided tour" after the ceremony. I think people will spend at least an hour or so wandering around FPC after the ceremony, so that will eat up a big chunk of time.
-We are booking the Bexley Beat to drive our wedding party around town for photos between the ceremony and reception. We will have much more time to take photos in our favorite spots than we would have had if the ceremony and reception were back to back.
-Reception set-up: I wanted to allow some time to make sure all of the centerpieces, etc. are all set-up and ready to go for the reception, and this gives us plenty of time to perfect the details without rushing. Plus, our DJ is doing both the ceremony and reception, so we need to give him about an hour to tear down at the ceremony and then go and set up again for the reception.
-Personally, the weddings I've been to wear there's a time gap between the ceremony and reception have been some of my favorites

I kind of like having time to go back to the hotel and freshen up, get a drink, etc. And it makes the day last a little longer.

Ultimately, I do not feel its a bad thing to have a few hours between the two. Your guests know that this is your day - if you want to space the two things out, I'm sure they will understand. Good luck!!

Ashes_3 · September 2010

I think anything above an hour is to long.

How long is too long between ceremony and reception?

Re: How long is too long between ceremony and reception?

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