Pre-wedding Parties

Weird Bachelorette

A group of my friends who are not a part of my bridal party want to throw me a bachelorette party and intentionally not invite my bridal party. It makes me feel strange and pulled in two directions. I want to know how to tell them and especially the organizer (who I've known since high school) how it makes me feel, but I don't know how to approach the topic. 
I don't want them spending money on a party that I think is offensive to my closest friends but I don't want to offend them either. Help please! 

Just for clarification too - my bridal party are beautiful good hearted people - there is no reason to have anything against them - these two groups of friends just don't know each other that well 

Re: Weird Bachelorette

  • id012id012 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Idno, Is your bridal party throwing you one? 
    If they are maybe you can mention  to your other friend that there is one already  being planned and you want them to be invited to that one (of course make sure its cool with your BP 1st)
    OR
    I think it would be ok to have 2, if this was one big group of friends that all hang out and you had 2 that would be werid, but since the two groups dont really know each other i dont think its a big deal to do two as long as both partys want to plan you one. 

    people have more then 1 shower all the time, heck people have more then 2 showers all the time!

  • If the problem is that the groups don't know each other well having a bachelorette party that mixes the two groups is perfect (or this could've happened at the showers)!  Then they'll be acquainted by the time of the wedding. 

    You've got to tell your 2nd group of friends that they can't have a seperate party for you, your bridal party should be invited to all pre-wedding events, and you don't want to offend them.  It doesn't matter how you tell the girl, she should understand, this is very strange!
  • Thanks for your input, id012 - it would be nice to do it twice! haha but I just always imagined pre-wedding parties as a way of everyone getting to know each other and not another day of me wondering who is allowed and who is not allowed to show up! 
     
  • Thanks so much Jinxed329 for saying it is strange! 

    One of the girls organizing this other bachelorette knows the book on wedding etiquette so to me it just seems that there is some reasoning behind it that I am not being told about. 
    I know my friends very well and that is a possibility! Also these girls do know each other better than came across in the original post - we have all been in the same city and acquaintences for years! To  keep the parties seperate is just frustrating at this point and divisive! 

    Thanks again both of you for commenting, I feel much better Smile
  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    I find it slightly odd, but perhaps they aren't planning the "typical" bachelorette party? Is it possible they're planning something that would limit the number of people that can participate?  In that case, I wouldn't find it weird, but if it's something everyone could participate in, maybe a bit strange.  However, as PP said, I think you can have 2 bachelorettes, but if your BP will react badly to not being invited and there isn't a good reason, I wouldn't do it.
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