Wedding Etiquette Forum

Paying for attendant's dresses/tuxes

FI and I went out with his cousin and his cousin's wife last night for the first time since we got engaged. His cousin is a groomsman in the wedding; my fiance was a groomsman in his wedding about 15 years ago.

We were discussing the wedding and my fiance brought up the fact they would need to go for tux fittings around August and that they were about $60-$70 each with shoes.

Cousin's wife said, "remember we paid for your tux and the girls dresses." I didn't react, but fiance said "oh, we'll pay for the tux if you want." Then she said, "it's ok, i'm just messing with you."

Now I feel like we should be paying for everyone's tuxes and dresses. I've already been feeling guilty about other people having to pay for clothing for our wedding...I know it's standard, but I still feel a little weird about it. We got a great deal on tuxes (buy one get one, so every one pays 50%), and the girls can pick out their own dresses within certain guidelines (same fabric, knee lengh, specific color), so they can shop around and find the best price instead of having to pay $150 for an Alfred Angelo dress.

Cousin's parents paid for their wedding 15 years ago...fiance and I are paying the bill for ours...should I just let it go? Is anyone else paying for their attendent's clothing??

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Re: Paying for attendant's dresses/tuxes

  • Do what YOU and your FI are comfortable with- although, yes, guilt is a little much.  I couldn't deal with the guilt of it because 1) My MOH is my sister and my mom is already paying for her dress, 2) My BM and FG are a mom-daughter pair, with my BM being out of work currently, so I hate making her pay when she's on hard times, 3) one groomsmen is also on security detail for our reception, so we're covering tux rental, and 4) the Best Man is traveling from about 45 min away so we're covering that.

    All that, on top of the fact that I'm a complete control freak for this day, means I'd rather pay for all of it than trust them to take care of it on their own.... I'm  bad.

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  • I paid for my attendant's clothing.

    One of the GMs assumed we were paying for the tuxes. We were, but it was weird that he assumed. Am I a terrible person for thinking that now that he'd getting married it would be crappy for him to make my H pay for a tux? Embarassed
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  • Just let it go.  It was a stupid comment for her to make.  When someone agrees to be in the wedding, it's expected that they will pay for their own attire.
  • WP buys their own attire.  I will make exceptions though if something financially comes up for one of them and they can't buy their dress/tux, then I will chip in.
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