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question about invites (or lack thereof) and question about registry (or not at all)

Kristin1106Kristin1106 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
we're not doing formal invites as this will be immediate family and our bff's- so about 26ish people total.  its ok to not do invites right?  we just started a wedding website with all of the guest information on it (hotels close to the restaurant, cool things to do with the kids, information of the time/place).  and although dinner is at a very nice restaurant, its not one of those things where we need to know more than a day ahead of time what a final head count is.  

we're not doing a registry either.  i mean, we have everything we want and need and plenty of $$ to go get it ourselves.  but is it RUDE to not do one.... i.e. ... i dont want people to feel that they have to give a gift.  but if they do want to give one, i dont want them to feel like we purposely didn't do a registry to get "cash" ... we dont want that either.   but i would never want to dictate to someone what they should do i.e. give a gift/not give a gift/dictate what kind of gift,  etc.  (and i dont judge anyone who decides to do things differently than myself, fwiw, i dont think there are hard and fast rules about this stuff anymore)

so i guess my question is: is it rude that we didn't do invites since its so small.  also, is it ok to  not do a registry?  i just want to make sure i'm not donig anything that would make a guest feel uncomfortable or something that would put them off.
Dear Nest and Bump Gods: Please merge this account with my original account Kristinhart511. Where did this screenname even come from anyway? Totally random and weird. TIA.
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Re: question about invites (or lack thereof) and question about registry (or not at all)

  • Kristin1106Kristin1106 member
    First Comment
    good point.  i dont even have pictures for all the frames i already have.  hrm.  maybe i will just make one but not tell anyone about it unless they ask.
    Dear Nest and Bump Gods: Please merge this account with my original account Kristinhart511. Where did this screenname even come from anyway? Totally random and weird. TIA.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    You don't have to do invitations, but you might want to consider at least a nominal one you buy at a party store or something with the date, time, etc. While you may not need to know exactly how many people are coming, it's nice to have a count so they have the right number of tables & chairs set up.

    We didn't register. Like you, we both had "stuff", too much "stuff", LOL. Out of 73 guests we received 4 gifts, the rest was cash. The gifts we did get were useful, some home made (a personalized garden stone), some things we love (wind chime), and some we ended up needing (personalized sterling silver photo album). My thought was if we didn't register, we'd just get cash, which was pretty much what happened. We used the cash to pay for our HM.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Welcome to the boards and congratulations on your engagement!

    I don't think it is rude not to have invitations, but as a guest, I would really appreciate one.  It gives me all the info I need on one piece of paper (or card), written out by you.  I can use it as a bookmark, stick it on the refrigerator or frame it.  You can go to Kinko's or Michael's and find something with a fun, colorful border and use a cool font.  If you don't want to bother with envelopes, you can mail it as an oversized post card.

    Registry?  We did not have one.  We received some gifts, some cards and mostly cash.  A couple of the gifts weren't our style but that's okay.
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  • cat772cat772
    First Comment

    I'm with you, we didn't want to do invites or a registry as our wedding will just be close family and friends.   I did end up giving in on the invites as I know how busy people's lives are, we had pretty much no response to our website and we have elderly relatives who would never come but appreciated the inclusion through the invite.  I found a website(Zazzle) that allowed me to customize a save the date style announcement into our own. We didn't do response cards and the invite referred everyone to the website for RSVP.  On our website we just flat out stated "NO GIFTS PLEASE".

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  • Kristin1106Kristin1106 member
    First Comment
    Ok so I ended up just making a site with all of the information on it and a cool google map thing and weekend events (we are hosting a brunch at out house the next day and a dinner that night also bc people will be in town). So it ended up being bigger... 40 ppl total. But they are immediate family and spouses and a couple close friends. Eh... The registry, I just did a wish list on amazon with some stuff. I did not put that on the site or publish it. Word of mouth only if people ask specifically. Just wanted to update, thanks for the advice :)
    Dear Nest and Bump Gods: Please merge this account with my original account Kristinhart511. Where did this screenname even come from anyway? Totally random and weird. TIA.
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