Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?

bre92882 · February 2012

I don't know if this has ever been posted (I'm pretty sure it has I just don't have time to search for it)

Anywho I hope this is the correct board to post this on, if not point me in the right direction.

I have about 150 guest on my guestlist who I will be sending invites to (family and close friends) there are about seven people who aren't family but I would like for them to come to the wedding ceremony only. How would I word this on the invite?

aleighk1 · February 2012

Invite them to both, or don't invite them at all. If someone only invited me to the ceremony, I wouldn't go and I most definitely wouldn't send them a gift.

hoffse · February 2012

Yes you don't need to do this. You're only talking about 7 people. If you can't host them fully, don't send them an invite at all.

ceh789 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:1d90c9f2-487c-4d70-a600-6fe23501b28b">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Invite them to both, or don't invite them at all. If someone only invited me to the ceremony, I wouldn't go and I most definitely wouldn't send them a gift.
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

<div>^^ This. I'd add that I would really be reluctant to continue whatever friendship we had, since they <em>clearly</em> didn't consider me a friend. </div>

bre92882 · February 2012

@ ceh789 who says I don't consider them a friend...because I'm only inviting them to the ceremony?

I had a bride invite me to a bridal shower and her ceremony at our church but she had a closed reception for family and close friends. I was in no way offended by that.

Isn't the ceremony the most important part? I don't expect to get gifts from them anyway.

flobear100 · February 2012

Invitations to ceremony only and not the reception is something new (I haven't seen it posted on the boarsd anywhere). I'm doing the opposite (very small ceremony and big party). I'm curious as to if there are only 7 of the 150 people that you are wanting to invite only to the ceremony, why not the reception?

Keep in mind that to some people, the reception is the best part of the wedding.

jemmini6 · February 2012

You are inviting 150 people, and only 7 of them aren't invited to the reception. If that's not a slap in the face that says "I don't give a flying f*ck about you" then I don't know what is.

Just because you weren't offended when someone did something extremely rude to you, doesn't mean others are that naive of etiquette. If I was one of the 7 people not invited to the reception, I would be extremely offended and would seriously question our friendship. I've planned and paid for a wedding, so believe me, I know how expensive they are...I would rather not be invited at all, then only be invited to half and then be expected to leave while everyone else goes to the party. So rude.

hz80408 · February 2012

I agree with pp's. If these 7 people mean enough to you that you'd like them to see you get married; then you also need to invite them to the reception.

bre92882 · February 2012

@Flobear100 They don't know anyone is the family and the 7 of them don't know each other. They just know me. I have no idea where I would sit them at if they were even invited to the Reception.

@Jemmmini6 I'd like to know who wrote this book on "etiquettes" not trying to be rude or anything but so many ppl bring this up...do we get stoned for not following proper ettiquettes when it comes to weddings??? it's 2012 now.

My way of looking at it maybe off from your way of looking at it...they know I'm getting married so If I don't invite them to either wouldn't that be rude also?? I'm more than sure they wouldn't be offended.

I just wanted to know how to word this on their invites not to be called "RUDE",

bre92882 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:be139038-f14e-4022-8583-37f35026b387">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : <strong>1.</strong> <strong> You could seat them together if they know each other or with other people they know.</strong> 2. Forget etiquitte for a second. I personally just find it rude, and so do a lot of other people. 3. If would be much nicer not to invite them at all then just to the ceremony. A lot of people knew I was getting married that I didn't invite. People know you can't invite everyone. 4. There is no way to word it on their invitation without sounding rude because it *is* rude.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

They don't know each other...they just know me

bre92882 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:780fb966-2bc2-4c6b-87ff-dd67a8ac1c1a">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : Emily Post. <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.emilypost.com/</a> There is not way to word the invitation without sounding rude, because what you are proposing is rude. Either invite them to the ceremony and reception (and seat them all together, if you want) or don't invite them at all.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Do we REALLY need to listen to her???

bre92882 · February 2012

Well I'm going against this one..sorry if it seems rude, tacky, what have you. I'll figure out a way to word this myself.

bre92882 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:e8b096f9-3410-4cf0-b077-310bbc4cc194">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : LOL. Another thing I noticed about your question: If you have to ask if something is rude, or how to do it without sounding rude, it probably is. <strong> I really don't want to sound like I'm yelling at you</strong>. Go over to the Etiquette board and look through some posts. You will find the same answers we're giving you here.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

It seems like ppl get so hostile when some brides do things differently than what they are "supposed" to do when it comes to weddings.

I do feel like I was being yelled at...lol!!! It's not that serious though. I've seen far worse on these boards.

You all think it's rude I seem to think otherwise.

It's cool...have a great day ladies.

bre92882 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:862be3d4-0862-4b7d-9dd8-3114d7aba87b">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Good luck with that. <strong> Being rude is so awesome!
</strong>Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Did you REALLY have to go there...really????

Have a good day.

bre92882 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:e8b096f9-3410-4cf0-b077-310bbc4cc194">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : LOL.<strong> Another thing I noticed about your question: If you have to ask if something is rude, or how to do it without sounding rude, it probably is.</strong> I really don't want to sound like I'm yelling at you. Go over to the Etiquette board and look through some posts. You will find the same answers we're giving you here.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

BTW, I never asked how to word it without sounding rude, I just asked how to word the invite that's all.you all said it was rude.

bre92882 · February 2012

No no!!! I just asked a simply question...I had no idea you all would get so catty about it.

Have a good day ma'am!!

jemmini6 · February 2012

Wow, you turned out to be so sensible.....

Go ahead, be rude, offend your friends & family, we really don't care. We were just trying to help you avoid doing something you might regret, but whatever.

But we will NOT give you advice on how to be rude...ie, figure out how to word it yourself.

bre92882 · February 2012

I will figure it out myself, no worries.

Have a great day ma'am

Ali092011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:1f3f6821-4cde-4f6c-b6ca-fe039241a1f3">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : BTW, I never asked how to word it without sounding rude, I just asked how to word the invite that's all.you all said it was rude.
Posted by bre92882[/QUOTE]

Okay, I got this. I got this.

<em>You are cordially invited to a ceremony witnessing the marriage of Bre and Mr. Bre.

Reception to follow, but not for you.</em>

Does that work?

ceh789 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:d1694db5-85ee-4261-8902-80ad612e7653">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : Okay, I got this. I got this. You are cordially invited to a ceremony witnessing the marriage of Bre and Mr. Bre. Reception to follow, but not for you. Does that work?
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

<div>I love it.</div>

Ali092011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:02199f06-832f-45ab-a036-654d0b5e6fdb">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : I love it.
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]
On second thought, it's weak. A cutesy poem would probably do a better job of making SURE these guests know they better not dare try to show up for the reception.

Because where would they SIT?!

OliveOilsMom · February 2012

These 7 people your inviting to the ceremony only, why not give them a plus one and then invite them to the reception too! Then they will know someone at the reception besides you! Genius!

ceh789 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:50351895-22e3-45df-85ac-93453ef93e90">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : On second thought, it's weak. A cutesy poem would probably do a better job of making SURE these guests know they better not dare try to show up for the reception. Because where would they SIT?!
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

<div>What if you invite them to the ceremony and then to WORK the reception!</div><div>
</div><div>What rhymes with "please wear comfortable shoes"?</div>

Ali092011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:907c5d44-4a8c-407a-b7cb-a06e2400fd76">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this? : What if you invite them to the ceremony and then to WORK the reception! What rhymes with "please wear comfortable shoes"?
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

*highfive*

sassychassy8503 · February 2012

I would try somewhere else for advice. Every time I have asked a question about something that "goes against tradition", all I recieved were catty, disrespectful responses.

Why not ask your family or other close friends (that you are inviting to both) and see if this would offend them or if they would have objections to it. IDK if you or your parents are paying for the wedding. But if it's your parents paying, they might make a little extra room in the budget for 7 more people :0)

Good luck!

Ali092011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:82492de2-8bf9-4ead-976a-75120c210132">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would try somewhere else for advice. Every time I have asked a question about something that "goes against tradition", all I recieved were catty, disrespectful responses. <strong>Why not ask your family or other close friends (that you are inviting to both) and see if this would offend them</strong> or if they would have objections to it. IDK if you or your parents are paying for the wedding. But if it's your parents paying, they might make a little extra room in the budget for 7 more people :0) Good luck!
Posted by sassychassy8503[/QUOTE]

Why would you ask people who WERE invited if they'd be offended if they weren't invited? If you think this is such an acceptable idea, why not come out and ask the people you're not inviting?

Go on, ask 'em. See what they say.

OliveOilsMom · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:82492de2-8bf9-4ead-976a-75120c210132">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would try somewhere else for advice. Every time I have asked a question about something that "goes against tradition", all I recieved were catty, disrespectful responses. <strong>Why not ask your family or other close friends (that you are inviting to both) and see if this would offend them or if they would have objections to it. </strong>IDK if you or your parents are paying for the wedding. But if it's your parents paying, they might make a little extra room in the budget for 7 more people :0) Good luck!
Posted by sassychassy8503[/QUOTE]

Because family and close friends always validate terrible ideas so they don't offend the person asking! And then they will side-eye you later. . .

DiLynn83 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:ddc367af-2bba-47eb-807c-fec64a3e3a60">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Invitations to ceremony only and not the reception is something new <strong>(I haven't seen it posted on the boarsd anywhere).</strong> I'm doing the opposite (very small ceremony and big party). I'm curious as to if there are only 7 of the 150 people that you are wanting to invite only to the ceremony, why not the reception? Keep in mind that to some people, the reception is the best part of the wedding.
Posted by flobear100[/QUOTE]

You have 21 posts, dude.

ceh789 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invited-to-ceremony-but-not-reception-how-do-i-word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0a2e58a3-c731-4b39-964b-9bade3b607d3Post:82492de2-8bf9-4ead-976a-75120c210132">Re: Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would try somewhere else for advice. Every time I have asked a question about something that "goes against tradition", all I recieved were catty, disrespectful responses. <strong>Why not ask your family or other close friends (that you are inviting to both) and see if this would offend them or if they would have objections to it. </strong>IDK if you or your parents are paying for the wedding. But if it's your parents paying, they might make a little extra room in the budget for 7 more people :0) Good luck!
Posted by sassychassy8503[/QUOTE]

<div>Say, mom, I'm thinking of making 7 of 150 guests leave after the ceremony. Would you be offended if that happened to you?</div><div>
</div><div>Seriously - think this through. How the hell would you feel if you arrived at a wedding and then found out that <em>everyone</em> but you was invited to the reception? I'd feel about 3 inches tall. Or what if you were seated next to someone and asked if they were looking forward to the dance to make conversation and they replied "I'm not invited" - I'd feel like a jackass for bringing it up.</div><div>
</div><div>There are reasons why this isn't done.</div>

Ali092011 · February 2012

Exactly. Wrong no matter how you do it. If you tell them ahead of time they're not invited to the reception, it's rude. If you let them find out at the wedding, also rude. Just awful.

flobear100 · February 2012

bre92882

If they only know you, and you don't know where to sit them, allow them to bring a +1 and it is their decision if they want to come to the wedding and reception. Some people enjoy going to weddings to get to know you better and your friends. Who knows, maybe they'll make new friends.

I have been invited to PLENTY of weddings where I only knew the bride/groom and no one else. I've had a great time. I was sat with people who had similar interests.

It is up to you to invite them, but it is up to them to decide if they want to come. If they feel that they are going to be uncomfortable, they can decline to come.

I hope that helps.

Invited to Ceremony but not Reception. How do I word this?

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