Thoughts on Honeyfund.com

nychica636 · April 2012

My friend had honeyfund.com on her registry. Is this tacky?

Personally, I wouldn't do it.

brilibby4 · April 2012

I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries.

adamar15 · April 2012

A "friend," huh? It's a thinly veiled cash grab. Plus, the vendor takes a cut.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2012

I don't care for them and would never encourage anyone to register with one.
If a couple did have one, I wouldn't purchase anything off of it.

nychica636 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:0092d3ee-79ae-4160-b439-aa5bdaffaa8f">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]A "friend," huh? It's a thinly veiled cash grab. Plus, the vendor takes a cut.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

LOL. Yea, I found her card with the registries listed on it. I didn't look at it when I first received it. I just looked at it now and was very surprised what she was asking for.

Didn't even know these registries existed.

Snippylynn · April 2012

I really hate these things, but I sadly do not see them going away. Too many people feel they are entitled to some grand, romantic honeymoon on other people's dime. I refuse, and will always refuse, to purchase something from that.

AdeleDazeem · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:7e81f628-ad58-4c30-8006-567e61305261">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : LOL. Yea, I found her card with the registries listed on it. I didn't look at it when I first received it. I just looked at it now and was very surprised what she was asking for. Didn't even know these registries existed.
Posted by nychica636[/QUOTE]

Was this card in their wedding invitation? Ew.

Snippylynn · April 2012

Oh damn Eagles. You might have got me.

nychica636 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:d48a7556-0378-47d7-80ef-5ca3a30d96a0">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : Was this card in their wedding invitation? Ew.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

yea...

lyndausvi · April 2012

I feel like a HM registries are in a way scamming the guests into giving you money. The guest honestly thinks they are giving the couple a message or helicopter tour. Which I think is actually a pretty cool gift. Problem is in reality all the couple gets is a check (minus a fee of course).

Also most HM must be paid off or mostly paid off before the trip. (I know ours had to be paid 30 days, airline tickets were bought 4 months out). Yet, most guests do not give gifts until the actual wedding day.

AdeleDazeem · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:add224c6-195f-4028-bd15-aa6ea0d25b4d">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : yea...
Posted by nychica636[/QUOTE]

Ooooh... a honeymon registry card in their wedding invitation. Two tackies in one!

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:d48a7556-0378-47d7-80ef-5ca3a30d96a0">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : Was this card in their wedding invitation? Ew.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This is what I side-eyed most.

MNVegas · April 2012

I'd buy your friend a book on etiquette. Yikes HM registry and registry info in invitations!

Asking for cash is rude not to mention that HM registries are also deceiptful.

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:1c5fe6f0-6304-4835-a651-b4267c74b56e">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'd buy your friend a book on etiquette. </strong>Yikes HM registry and registry info in invitations! Asking for cash is rude not to mention that HM registries are also deceiptful.
Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

Whenever someone says this, I always wonder if they really would do that.

mdeidre · April 2012

HM registries are a rip off and they're tacky as all get out. They charge to pass onmoney, if you want to give money, just write a check for crying out loud. Since it's no less tacky to just ask for money they may as well just put bank deposit slips in with the invitations! At least that way they get all the money you're giving them.

DelBride2012 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:53349958-db36-4bc7-905c-62ee8ef35c20">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]A honeymoon fund is like giving someone a $100 gift card that is only worth $90. I don't like them. What I really don't like is a bride and groom planning a honeymoon that they can't afford to pay for themselves.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
I hope they don't put the vacation on plastic hoping that Honeyfund will raise enough to cover it, because it often doesn't cut it.

MNVegas · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:ed802727-3e27-4215-90f5-7b5e225f1020">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : Whenever someone says this, I always wonder if they really would do that.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I have actually done this and the person I bought it for was totally clueless as to why I gave it to her.

</div>

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:5c21113f-24e3-4dd9-9933-d6541de8f744">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com : I have actually done this and the person I bought it for was totally clueless as to why I gave it to her.
Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

I think that's just as rude and tacky as a honeymoon registry and registry cards in the invite.

LibbyC730 · April 2012

I'm going to go against the trend here. My cousin and her new husband have always loved traveling. They are both well established and didn't need the typical wedding gifts. As wedding gifts to one another they took a trip halfway around the world. Their "real" honeymoon was subsidized with honeyfund and I was glad to help them celebrate by helping pay for something they would have (and could have) purchased themselves.
I guess as a side note, she did not include the registry information on her invite and helping with a great travel experience is the perfect present for her.

larnen · April 2012

Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out. (You don't have to use PayPal, and the guest can pay with a check. However, you must realize that when you do this, the wedding etiquette fairy will come down from the heavens and burn your eyes out with hot pokers.)

Actually, according to Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute it is totally acceptable to register for a honeymoon: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html

(That article also has some good information on different registry companies)

You might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation. So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you would be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift registry or a honeymoon one.

Wedding gifts aren't required anyway. If you don't like honeymoon registries, don't buy a gift from one. I don't understand all the sanctimonious, self-righteous, butthurtedness over this topic.

TheBaney · April 2012

I know of the massive hate for honeymoon funds because you're aren't actually buying a gift, but instead giving money. So, I've been trying to find out what the consensus is on using the amazon universal registry to register for honeymoon-y things. Is that still rude?

mbrischoux · April 2012

I read a post like this a while back, and one of the responders made a comment that completely solidified how tacky honeymoon registries are (forgive me, it was a while back, so I am paraphrasing): Do you really want to write "Hey Grandma, thank you for contributing to our weeklong sex-fest" in a thank-you card?

AND the registry information was in the invitation? That is horrifying.

CFM102012 · April 2012

This same conversation is going on on my month board. Complete with Larnen's post. I wish people would just realize the tacky rudeness of it and not do it. Just because its in the magazines and on TK does not mean it's a good idea. Its a way to get more money out of you and your friends/family because "OMG, I'm getting married"

tkddddddddd · April 2012

I know pretty much everyone thinks they are tacky but I think they're a good idea. Let's face it: more likely than not SOMEONE will be giving a cash gift at every wedding. It just happens and it isn't like you reigistered for it. Add together with a couple has everything (lived together and don't want to waste a registry "upgrading" or just don't want to upgrade) and would like to travel, i don't get the big deal. My fiancé & I were going to do one because our uber-budget wedding doesn't have the room for a honeymoon nor do we get the paid time off from work for one but then decided we really didn't have the time for a honeymoon at all. A gift registry is basically saying "Hey if you want to buy me something, buy me this" how is a honeymoon registry saying "Hey, if you want to buy me something...buy me this" so different? To me, a registry is a bit tacky in general (though, I have one thanks to my bridesmaids pushing...) because it is saying don't forget to buy me something since I'm getting married. But I guess that's totally okay bc etiquette has shifted from the days of cash only gifts....

Maggie214624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:4708965e-d277-437c-8a52-fe1414456c2d">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in the tacky camp, and fortunately so is my social set. <strong>I don't want to pay for somebody else's vacation aka weeklong sexfest.
</strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I am in agreement with honeymoon registries being a rip-off and questionable in the etiquette department. The bolded part is ridiculous. It is a honeymoon, people have sex. This is normal and not some sort of scandalous behavior.

lb1212 · April 2012

Picture this - Some random wedding guest gives you and your new hubby a message......just think about that one super creepy wedding guest (most of us have one!).....Guess who "bought" it? Yup! ....and then when you're trying to relax and enjoy a message and all you can think about it is Mr. Creepy Pants (or not to be sexist Ms. Creepy Pants? *shudder*

Agree with PPs - it's tacky.

erinjeremygoulder · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-on-honeyfundcom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d59aade6-a90c-41cc-b03a-a3b55433e520Post:345dcdf2-474f-4700-8f8e-69dcf18b79e2">Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out. (You don't have to use PayPal, and the guest can pay with a check. However, you must realize that when you do this, the wedding etiquette fairy will come down from the heavens and burn your eyes out with hot pokers . ) Actually, according to Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute it is totally acceptable to register for a honeymoon: <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html" rel="nofollow">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html</a> (That article also has some good information on different registry companies) You might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation. So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you would be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift registry or a honeymoon one. Wedding gifts aren't required anyway. If you don't like honeymoon registries, don't buy a gift from one. I don't understand all the sanctimonious, self-righteous, butthurtedness over this topic.
Posted by larnen[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>couldn't agree more. my Fi and I are more interested in traveling the workd then having more "stuff" that we don't need, most of which is made in China. I don't think its tacky to ask for what you want, the way you ask for pots and dishes- I don't see a difference. It doesn't mean you'll get it- guests should give what makes them happy- even if them showing up at the wedding is the only gift- fine by me. I think there is a lot of self righteousness and I don't get it either. I've been in 13 weddings and been to many many more- I"m happy to support my friends by knowing what they truly want and need. </div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

Faelshea · January 2013

I'm sure I will get flamed for this, but here goes. (Please don't flame me...I'm really nice!)

My fiance and I are considering using Honeyfund for our registry. We are both young adults, with more "stuff" than our teeny apartment can hold (I craft for a living...crafting takes a LOT of room!), and we do NOT need or want any more things. If anything, we are desperately trying to pair down, especially as we hope to move in the very near future.

I have no expectations of guests giving gifts, I did not want to steal money from them with engagement and bridal showers, and I am doing MOST of the wedding DIY.

We are on a very, very small budget for a wedding of 150+ (110 of which are direct family...we have a BIG family!), and we are paying for the wedding all by ourselves.
We are trying to be extremely fiscally minded, and thus have decided to completely skip the honeymoon (so very sad!), in lieu of trying to purchase our first home.

Honeyfund lets you do more than raise money for your vacation...you can also ask for money towards other things. We are considering asking guests to help us raise funds for the downpayment towards our first home. We both have scrimped and saved up quite a bit, but are still nowhere near reaching the 20% downpayment without getting loans from our IRAs and 401ks, which is not recommended. We fully expect that we still will need to, but if people REALLY want to get us something, I feel like helping us (even $10!) towards our first home is much more practical and meaningful than wasting money towards random things that I will have to attempt to find room for in our very small apartment, or donate immediately.

We are sick of throwing our money away renting, and would love to have a home, any home, to call our own. Especially since it will be closer to family. Which is all that really matters to me.

I don't have to use honeyfund...I mean, people will probably bring cards to the wedding, but I kind of liked the little webpage for all of my super tech savvy guests that keep asking where we are registered.

I personally think it is far more tacky to register for items, and I hate seeing "Crate & Barrel, Macy's, Bloomingdales" on the bottom of invitations. You really can't live without that super expensive silver cutlery, or that breadmaker, or that latte machine?

I would rather have a home. And that's my two cents.

PolarXPS · March 2013

Faelshea:

I couldn't agree with you more. When we were getting married, we used HoneyFund. We put pieces of our honeymoon (plane tickets, caving, canoe trip) and upgrades to our house (counter tops, bathroom sink) on our HoneyFund registry. We already owned our tiny 900-square-foot house and didn't need pots, pans, silverware or plates (and we didn't have any place to store it!!). We would much rather have the money people would have put towards useless crap to make our house nicer. We still did one traditional registry for those people who felt the need to stick with the traditional crap. The only stuff we've used from that is the bedding and towels.

PS-HoneyFund is completely free and doesn't take any cut from your registry. The only way you pay for HoneyFund is if you opt to use PayPal.

asupsiri · March 2013

I'm engaged and have decided to go the fund route. Here's why.

I've had 5 years to furnish and settle into into my house. I don't want or need any more material possesions. My fiancee feels the same way, but thinks that our wedding guests will likely want to give us something for inviting them to celebrate our wedding.

So we've got two funds that people can donate to, if they so choose. Donations can be made in modest increments of 20 or 25 dollars. One fund will go towards making renovations to my small townhouse, and the other will go towards my honeymoon, which will involve seeing and travelling with my relatives in southeast Asia, who I haven't seen in 20 years.

I don't need my beloved friends and family to put into either fund if they don't want to. If they do, their generosity will either go towards something that will help us start a family or allow me and my fiancee to meet our extended family.

Thoughts?

Lisacazares · June 2013

I am completely in agreement with you. A lot of these remarks sound very i don't know stuck up in my opinion. Every wedding is different as is every bride. There is no one wedding fits all. Honeymoon registries are still new, however it is 2013 not the 1900 ladies! Every couples needs are different.. Some already have things for the household and would like to go on a honeymoon! It doesn't mean it would be the next day or next week! What if they want to plan something for their one year anniversary? Would you still consider it a raunchy "sex fest"? Calling a honey moon a sex fest is more tacky to me than a simple honeymoon fund. Besides, its not like you family and friends don't already assume you haven't had a raunchy sex fest already! Duh! Your getting married your not mother Theresa! Honeymoon registries are great! And.. Put it in your invitation ladies! Don't be cookie cutter perfect!.... That is BORING! How else are you getting info out to your guest from out out town that you hardly talk to but your still inviting to your wedding?? Oh thats right you talk to them once and slyly tell them where your registered!!! Not tacky or rude at all!!! NOT!!

Thoughts on Honeyfund.com

Re: Thoughts on Honeyfund.com

Choose Another Board

Search Boards