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Plus 1

mboja1fvmboja1fv member
10 Comments
in Chit Chat
Who do you give a plus 1?

 I am on a guest list limit and I really want to limit the number of people my fiance and I aren't atleast acquaintances with (in terms of guests our age, associated with our friends).

I want friends to be able to have fun (and to come) but I don't really want to add another 20 guests on. (No Room!)

Should I give the wedding party a plus 1 if they aren't in a relationship with someone (they will all have other friends - no one will be without a group of people to hang out with?) What about my other friends? It's so confusing!
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Re: Plus 1

  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Giving no one at all a plus one is fine. Yet, giving only a few people a plus one is wrong. Solution is have no plus ones and if someone has a significant other there name would be on the invitation also (so they are not a plus one but an invited guest)
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  • mb2712mb2712
    1000 Comments
    The only people I'm inviting dates for are people who are engaged, or have been dating for a long time.  That's the only way I could see inviting some but not all. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Etiquette requires that everyone married, engaged, living together, or in a long term relationship (usually defined as 6 months) must be invited with their s/o.  For truly single guests, it's up to you.  For planning purposes, count all of your singles as 2, though.  You never know when someone on your list will meet and become close with someone.  It's better to over-estimate than under.  

    We invited everyone with a +1.  It's the norm in our area, and most of our friends are couples anyway, so it didn't make much difference.  Only 1 of the 15 single people brought a date.  


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  • weddingbells2010weddingbells2010
    100 Comments
    This might just be my quirk, and it might be confined to where I live, but it's pretty standard in our locale to give everyone a plus 1.  Most people don't want to go to a party alone.  Plus, where do you draw the line and define "long term relationship"? You get into a sticky spot of judging and evaluating the importance of each couples relationship.  Most people have enough class to know not to bring the guy they met at the bar the night before.  

    I only know one person EVER who DIDN'T give everyone a plus one, and she was the talk of the town to this day.  Many people were offended and either didn't go or went and had a miserable time.
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  • Minimax052910Minimax052910 member
    100 Comments
    I'm inviting "plus" one for those who are married, in a long term relationship, or engaged. I don't put "plus" one for those who just got in a relationship (a month long). So far, no complaint, I already got 74 "yeses" within 1.5 week of sending out the invitation!
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  • Minimax052910Minimax052910 member
    100 Comments
    *OH* I also forgot to mention this. I made an exception for my bridesmaids and groomsmen. Since they're doing a lot for us, they've thrown us engagement parties, bridal shower, bachelorette party, helped us out tremendously, volunteered to take care of our dog while we're on honeymoon, etc....we decided to give them the option of bringing their "guest". Most of them are married or in a serious relationship anyways. There's two that just got in a relationship and we're giving them that option.
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  • sciencechick74sciencechick74 member
    First Comment
    We decided to give single people, especially those that do not know anyone else, a plus one but I am also trying to stop people bringing others that they (or I) don't really know. So, when I sent out the invitations I added 'guest name' to the plus one invitations so that they have to put some thought into it and they should at least know when they send the reply (2 months before the wedding) the person they are bringing.
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  • kaynix21kaynix21 member
    2500 Comments
    I gave my WP a plus 1. I also gave it to those who are married, engaged or I know to be in a long term/serious relationship. HTH

    It's OK to not give it to your single friends. They don't need to scrounge up some random person to bring wtih them.
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  • Kristin&ericKristin&eric
    500 Comments
    always a plus one, i was in a wedding and my friend only gave out a several plus ones, and another bridesmaid was piss, it cause a lot of wedding of the day drama, she got drubnk and I had to take her home, bc we WERE friends. I understand why the bride had to do it, but it was still rude, everyone on my guest has a plus one except for my teenage cuz which i am still debating about
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  • MSRosidivitoMSRosidivito
    First Comment
    I'm only inviting my friends' significant others if they're engaged or married. I think they understand, and I'm trying not to make any exceptions. If a lot of people on my guest list say they can't come, then I can reconsider.

    Either way, I'm sure everyone will understand your decision. Your bridal party does deserve special attention.
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  • Amy_JustinAmy_Justin
    100 Comments
    Here's our "rules":
    Anyone married, living together, dating 6 months+ or engaged we invited with their SO. 

    Anyone who's single that knows nobody but the B&G gets a date.

    Most of my friends are single and they all know and like each other, so we didn't feel dates were necessary for them. HTH.
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