Wanna help me pick a new last name?

thevegetariana · March 2012

So Fiance and I would like to both take on a new last name when we get married. We would like the name to start with the letter A. So far he likes the last name Aldridge but we would like to have some more choices. What are your favorite A last names?

P&R. Silly work taking up knotting time.

chelseamb11 · March 2012

Is there any way you can combine the letters of your current last names or even mix them up to form the new last name?

strlzfan11 · March 2012

Ditto Chelsea, or you could both choose to hyphenate your current last names. A professor in my old department did this when she got married. She and her husband are both Dr. Smith-Jones and their kids all have Smith-Jones for their last name.

midgetthemighty · March 2012

Are there any A names in either of your family histories? I also like Chels's idea. Personally, I think it would mean more if it had some special meaing to you two instead of just picking a random one. That's why I like those two ideas.

thevegetariana · March 2012

I agree and have tried and tried to combine the letters but everything sounds like I just made it up. Here are some sets of the letters in no particular order so it doesn't give away too much personal information: Alla Wer Abd Bro

midgetthemighty · March 2012

Arwen
Adler
Arrow
Ader
Alda

baystateapple · March 2012

Cfas, I had never heard of it either until a friend's sister and her H did it this past year. They both had very generic last names and they didn't like them, so they went with something that they liked better.

I personally wouldn't do it but, to each their own I guess.

AdeleDazeem · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:3f7d0f6d-2ac8-44b7-b232-c6b42d10c7b4">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]This might make me look like a bitch.. but I just don't see the point in picking a completely random last name. I can understand not wanting to take your spouses name, or trying to combine the two of them... but just picking one? If there isn't an 'A' last name in either of your family's histories that you like, then I would go with a hyphenate.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

I'm kinda with you. But, I also see last names as something that ties families together. I think it's a bit odd to pick a random last name and confusingly be tied to a completely different family's history. I'd rather combine last names than pick one that has no ties whatsoever to either person. But, to each their own.

kellyjellybelly · March 2012

Maybe they don't WANT to be tied to their families. Some families just suck.

moondustrbc · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:3f7d0f6d-2ac8-44b7-b232-c6b42d10c7b4">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]This might make me look like a bitch.. but I just don't see the point in picking a completely random last name. I can understand not wanting to take your spouses name, or trying to combine the two of them... but just picking one? If there isn't an 'A' last name in either of your family's histories that you like, then I would go with a hyphenate.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe they aren't particularly attached to their families so they don't feel much connection to their names. Maybe they both hate their names (hard to pronounce/spell, vulgar-sounding, etc.) and want to use the wedding as an opportunity to pick a new one. I don't really get the judgement. Especially considering the aforementioned reasons are commonly given by brides and supported by other women on this site.</div>

moondustrbc · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:c7e3725a-4141-47c1-a4c8-1d51374225ed">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I find it funny that when a bride comes on here saying that they want to keep their last name but FMIL (or whoever) is pitching a fit, she gets told "It's your name you get to do what you want with it". But when a bride and groom want to pick their own last name, they get told they should hyphenate. You get to do whatever you want if it is 1. keep your name, 2. take your H's name, 3. hyphenate, or 4. combine the two names to make one name. But not pick a new name. Just seems like a double standard.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I don't really get it.</div>

raes19 · March 2012

If H was down with this idea, I probably would have done something similar. Or at least have us both use a shortened version of his last name. My maiden name was Smith, so I always planned to change it when I got married. H's last name is a long and hard to pronounce Italian last name, so it really hasn't made things easier for me.

ceh789 · March 2012

What interests do you share? Maybe something related to one of those?

I'd go here: http://www.surnamedb.com/Surname

And read up on history/meanings of A names until you find something meaningful to both of you.

moondustrbc · March 2012

Abbott

Allegria (happiness)

Astoria (hawk-like)

Abilene (land of meadows)

Aliane (noble, gracious)

Amery (power)

Adwin (artist, intellectual)

Ansel (a god)

Ames (friend)

Amor (love)

Affleck (and you don't even have to marry Ben)

Stackeye210 · March 2012

I had a friend who her parents picked a completely random last name. Both of their fathers were cheaters and they didn't want to continue on with either last name, so they made a new one. Personal preference to the couple.

Alden

Aldora

tpender13 · March 2012

I like Allister. I always wished my name was McAllister growing up (not sure why) so I think Allister is cool, too.

I think this is a little strange, too -- but cool. OP, I'm really curious to know your reasoning if you're okay with sharing...

EDIT: typo... "Allister" and not "Allilster"

strlzfan11 · March 2012

I didn't say they had to hyphenate either, but suggested it as an option. Like cfas, I just don't get the point of just picking something out of a hat, but to each their own.

trixie549 · March 2012

Here are a few names that I came up with from your mishmashed letters (Alla Wer Abd Bro):

Ardall
Allar
Arbor
Abrell
Adere
Aroll
Allbrode

This was fun - like Boggle!

LVK033 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:2e838a8f-8bb2-4586-8fdc-1bc14a0121a5">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I like Allister. <strong>I always wished my name was McAllister growing up (not sure why)</strong> so I think Allister is cool, too. I think this is a little strange, too -- but cool. OP, I'm really curious to know your reasoning if you're okay with sharing... EDIT: typo... "Allister" and not "Allilster"
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

Probably because Kevin McAllister was a boss!

aragx6 · March 2012

I think if I were going to pick something random I'd want to make it go well with both of your first/middle combinations too. Some names just sound funky together.

What about Austen?

AllAboutTheBenjamin · March 2012

A couple in my area recently did this. They chose a word I can't really remember but it means something like "new beginnings" or whatever. It wasn't that they didn't want to be "tied" to their families, they just wanted to start fresh as they started their own family. Something to that effect.

NMS, but it meant a lot to them, so because of that I think it's kinda cool.

specialk84 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:8825a673-e80b-473e-b7c2-a1387aa97e3e">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here are a few names that I came up with from your mishmashed letters (Alla Wer Abd Bro): Ardall Allar <strong>Arbor</strong> Abrell Adere Aroll Allbrode This was fun - like Boggle!
Posted by trixie549[/QUOTE]

<div>I like that one. It's easy to spell and pronounce, and it's a common word not commonly used for a last name. </div><div>
</div><div>Plus, everyone likes trees.</div>

JennLax · March 2012

Adair
Armstrong
Anderson
Allen
Alyea (pronounced al-ee-eh)
Amand
Andrews
Arnold
Arrowsmith
Aaron
Ashenhurst
Asiri
Ayres

Good luck! (And I'm also curious on the reasoning behind selecting a whole new name :P No judgement - just curiosity).

Calypso1977 · March 2012

Allamode

kinda like pie. :-)

seesawgirl · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:dcca628b-d41f-48d9-a416-5679dfaf24bf">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe they don't WANT to be tied to their families. Some families just suck.
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is exactly my thoughts. My maiden name is one that I would change on my own, even if I didn't get married, because of a history of sexual abuse in my father's side of the family. (Not just my father, literally every male in that family has been accused of it at some point.) </div><div>If FI had a similar experiance, I'd be perfectly willing to find one on our own.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, if the letters from your last names combined sound silly to you, why not find a quality that you want your marriage to embody, such as strenth, love, etc, and find that word from your heritage, and use that, or a variation, as your last name?</div><div>For instance, my mothers side of my family is german, and strength, is german, is "starke". That would be an awesome last name, I think. </div>

thevegetariana · March 2012

I haven't read through everything yet but thanks for all the suggestions!

Here is the reasoning: His last name, while beautiful, is very middle eastern. There are a lot of idiots in this world right now that are making it hard to have that last name. Sometimes I feel like by letting that influence my decision, I am giving the racist idiots power but on the other hand, I don't want our future children exposed to that kind of hate. His last name is also very religious and neither one of us is religious so the meaning doesn't suit us either.

I have considered going by his last name but legally keeping mine. But when we have children I would like for us all to have the same last name. So that ruins that!

I don't really like my last name. Although he would change his to mine if I wanted, I would prefer for us to meet in the middle.

We both have the utmost respect for his families so that doesn't play into the decision.

snuff9861 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wanna-help-me-pick-a-new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:584fd347-60cd-4e66-b45e-0296d3270f1fPost:ed87e528-cfb7-46dd-b6d9-2af8113260e3">Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Allamode kinda like pie. :-)
</strong>Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

YUM!

Adow
Aubrey
Abode (like house)

thevegetariana · March 2012

Also, I should clarify. I would never just look at the suggestions, say "O that sounds nice" and be done. I would definitely research the meaning behind the name and make sure it matches with our ideals. And again I would prefer to have a combination of the letters in our current names but was struggling. I came up with:

Allabro
Allawer
Ardulea
Abrodal

My father was adopted so beyond his immediate family, I don't feel a close connection with those family names. To my knowledge there aren't any A last names on my mother's side. From his side of the family, everything will be middle eastern. Plus then we would be picking from either my side or his side and I would rather it be 50/50.

StephBeanWed61502 · March 2012

Just a thought - make sure this is legal in your state to even do through your marriage license. In NY, when you get married, one or both partners can change their last name through the marriage license, but the new name can't just be something random picked out of the blue, it has to be one partner's existing last name or a combination of the two partners' last names (so if you were Jane Smith marrying Tim Jones, both of you could change your last names to Smith, or Jones, or Smith-Jones, or Jones-Smith, or Smones, or Jonith, but not Apple). You could go through the non-marriage-related name-change process, but here, it's an absolutely massive PITA.

Not trying to rain on your parade at all - I think this is a cool idea, actually - just making you aware that the legal requirements may be very different than they would be if it was a more "standard" marriage-related name change.

thevegetariana · March 2012

Thanks! We have looked into that. We know we would be looking at a legal name change instead of a marriage name change. We are okay with that.

thevegetariana · March 2012

So far my favorites from the suggestions are:
Adwin
Abrell
Alden

Wanna help me pick a new last name?

Re: Wanna help me pick a new last name?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards