I need some major advice. I am getting married in October, and right now I am finishing up my first year of law school, trying to plan the wedding, and trying to find a job, so things are a little crazy right now. I started planning my wedding around January and my sister nominated herself as my maid of honor and started taking on various duties - without me asking her to do so. She booked my florist, my reception hall, and the ceremony cite - she has been helpful, and I am grateful for the help, but she has planned the wedding that *she* wants, not necessarily the wedding that I want to have. She is quite a bit older than I am, and she says that if I have a wedding that is anything less than fully formal that it will be disgraceful and embarrassing to her (her words exactly). This is not what my fiance and I particularly want, but the last thing I want is for her to go around telling everyone how embarrasing I am and how awful my wedding is. The problem is that my wedding is becoming more of her second wedding than mine. I feel like she went behind my back to plan things for me that I never asked her to do, and now I am stuck in "her dream wedding".
I picked out a wedding gown that I absolutely love - it is plain, without a lot of embellishments, and with a short train. My sister has decided that she wants to look different from the other bridesmaids - with a full train and embellished dress. She will also be 9 months pregnant at the wedding.
As the wedding gets closer, she keeps telling me how my ideas are awful - from the color (teal) to the invitations.
On top of this, I feel that she takes advantage of me and does not take the fact that I am a full time student seriously. She asks me to run her errands - go to the dry cleaners, buy her weekly groceries, pick the kids up from school, babysit them all day - and when I tell her that I am too busy because I am in class, she gets angry and tells me that she "will never help me with my wedding again" and that I "owe her" for all that she has done for my wedding (none of which I asked her to do). I help her when I can, but I am starting to get angry that she feels that she can hold her MOH duties over my head to get me to run her errands.
She is currently not speaking to me, as I had to tell her that I could not babysit one night before I had a test. When I told her no, she called me all the names in the book, as well as insulted my fiance.
I don't really know what to do here. I have just picked out the bridesmaids dresses, and I know that I can't ask her to step down. What should I do? Should I be guilty for not helping her more, even though I am a full time student?