Splitting bills

bella3609 · March 2010

Katanne's poll made me think of this... BF and I are moving in together in May, and we're working out how to split the bills. Right now we're at 50/50 with rent; on utilities I'm taking electric/water/gas and he's taking Internet/cable (I make a little bit more than him so this seemed fair to us). We each have our own cell phones, so home phone isn't an issue. But we're a little stuck on groceries and household supplies. There are things I eat that he doesn't, and vice versa, and there are common items like milk and meat and stuff. I'd like to streamline that as much as possible for cost savings, but I'm curious: How do fellow unmarried shackers-up do rent and groceries? Because my other questions is whether we should just write one rent check for our landlord and have one or the other of us cut the other one a check for half, or whether we should consider a joint checking account where just that rent and grocery/household supply money goes in there each month.

Anyway - I know everybody's style and situation is different, but I'm interested in how others work this out! Thanks!

KD+BC · March 2010

We live in the house my FI owns. He pays the morgage, I pay the gas/electric, water, cable/internet, and food bills. It works out that I pay slightly less than him but I also buy everything for the house like any decor stuff and I do his laundry for him

Button5807 · March 2010

When we pay rent (which also covers utilities) I write the check and BF gives me cash for his half but shorts me the amount I own for the cable bill which he writes the check for.

I think we're pretty unique when it comes to groceries b/c I have a lot of food allergies and BF doesn't really like what I'm allowed to eat (me neither...) so we buy our own groceries.

**Mutley** · March 2010

We had/have a very abnormal spin on this. (Or at least it seems like it on here.)

DH pays the rent, all the bills and into savings/retirement. I pay my student loans, the fun stuff, and add to savings. We set it up this way so we could truly live on his salary alone if it came to that. Then again, I haven't worked a normal work schedule since about 5 months into our relationship.

Before we were married, groceries would go back and forth. We would go to costco once a month to stock up on meat, frozen food and dry goods. He would pay. I generally paid for special items I would pick up for meals I planned.

oceana919 · March 2010

We each pay half the rent, and I contribute about 40% of the utilities, as I make a lot less at the moment. I basically write him a check for what I owe for the month, and he deposits it and pays the rent and bills from his account.

In terms of groceries, we split it up - he picks up our bulk items (paper products, soda, water) from BJs and fresh meat/some produce from a local farmers market biweekly, and I pick up the weekly needs (dairy, eggs, some produce, grains, etc.) from the supermarket each week. In the end, he contributes a little more each month than I do, but again, difference in pay scales.

swim1011 · March 2010

We split the rent evenly- FI just deposits money for me into our joint account, and I move it to my checking before it's due. We only send one check for the rent- that would probably be the easiest way for you and your landlord.

As for groceries, we spend pretty much the same amount every time we go, so we flip flop. Eg- he bought the groceries this week, so next time, I'll buy them, then him again, etc. We both make little side trips sometimes, so we just do this for the big trips.

We have a joint account, which we take all of our bills from. We split the bills evenly for everything.

a2joy · March 2010

We split the rent in half (I pay the landlord, he pays me). He pays cable/internet, I pay the utilities. For groceries we go shopping once a week & flip flop who pays each week, so it turns out about even in the end. We try to flip flop on dinners out too... but little extras I usually pay for because I work full-time but he is a med student on student loans currently.

desertsun · March 2010

We bought our own groceries, split rent and utilities 50/50, and took turns buying shared stuff like laundry detergent and cleaning supplies.

I paid all the bills and rent, and FI (then BF) wrote me a check for his half of everything. This was in our previous house, and we set things up like this when we moved in there, b/c we'd only been together a year or so and it seemed (to us) to be too soon to know if we'd be together long term.

After we'd been in that house for a year or so, we started talking about marriage, and a year later when we moved into our current place, we put some of the utilities in FI's name, and he now pays the rent and the cable/internet, and I pay the electric, and write him a check for half the rent. He makes about 30% more than I do, so he sometimes pays more rent if I'm short, and a lot of times he buys supplies for the house. I buy all the groceries.

Acrosthec · March 2010

We live in the house he owns, and he pays mortgage, taxes and insurance on the house, any repairs, water, and electric. He pays all these things for the house himself because he is the only one that benefits from the tax write-offs until we're married and my name is put on the documents, so he won't let me pay towards them. (I guess he doesn't believe in just writing me a check from his tax return? Like I said in the other thread, he hates dealing with money; whatever's easiest for him to figure out, that's what he's going to do.) He also pays our phone bill because we're on Verizon and as long as we were both on the same family plan, he gets a 10 or 15% discount (forget which) for being a state employee.

I pay for the dogs (boarding, food, vet bills, etc.), cable, satellite, and all our groceries. I also pick up the tab if we go out of town and get a hotel room, etc. and I buy the birthday and Christmas gifts for our godchildren (and everyone else) and all the wedding/shower presents. Depending on what month it is (obviously Nov/Dec is rough for me with present buying) sometimes I put more towards our expenses, sometimes he does. I also put minimum $150/month into our godchildren's accounts.

We pay our own car insurance, which is about equal (his is maybe a little less), and our own health insurance. He totally wins on health insurance. His is WAY cheap through the government and he has amazing coverage, but he does have to pay a $60 tobacco surcharge. I pay almost $100/month for my $10,000 deductible catastrophic injury insurance. Whenever we get married, I'll be getting on his insurance for less than the cost of his tobacco surcharge, provided he isn't laid off due to budget cuts. Can't wait for that! :-)

jeanacorina · March 2010

I think having a joint account is a good idea, even if you only use it for rent. It's a good way to get used to sharing your finances.

Otherwise, you could alternate months or just have one write the check and the other reimburse. It's really something you'll have to work out on your own. There's not really a "wrong" way to split rent, in my opinion.

For groceries I'd suggest alternating weekly. We go grocery shopping every Sunday. It works well for us because we try to plan out our meals in advance and buy what we need. We also make a seperate trip to the farmer's market for fresh veggies and fruits. If we didn't have a joint account, we would probably just alternate who pays each week. It's food for both of us, after all.

I mean, he doesn't drink soy milk, but I don't eat meat. So it would even out either way.

I think trying to make things too perfectly even and "fair" is too much of a headache. If you're living together that's a big step toward getting to know each other in a whole new way and also really working on trust. I say trust each other to be fair and don't count every little dollar spent and compare later. Just figure out something that works for the both of you. It might be something someone here does, or it might be something totally different that you guys come up with together.

Either way, you BOTH need to be comfortable with the solution and stick with it.

kmuthig · March 2010

I live with FI in a house that he bought. The house payment and a few other bills are taken out of his account automatically. I pay the bills that aren't taken out (his cell phone, cable, water,) plus my student loans and groceries. We sit down together at the beginnng of the month and make our budget for groceries and stuff that we know needs to be paid. So far it's worked out well. We have an understanding what is coming out of what account. No fighting or who's going pay.

jessicaanderik · March 2010

I think what we do may be a bit unique so I wanted to throw it out there. We opened a joint account for rent and other expenses that you have to write checks for. For things like groceries, bills and household expenses though we opened a joint credit card and every month we charge everything on there and at the end of the month we split it down the middle 50/50. Makes things really easy to figure out. Plus, we are earning credit card rewards points so we get that advantage too.

The most important thing is to sit down and talk about what you are both comfortable doing. We both make about the same amount of money so 50/50 seemed fair but if you are making more or less you may want to splt 60/40 or something like that. We also set a monthly household budget that we stick to otherwise its really easy to charge everything and not think about it.

aperitisa · March 2010

We have been doing pretty much everything right down the middle. We each write our own checks to all of the utilities and rent. Everyplace accepts two checks so we just make sure to write our account number on the check. As for phone bill, we cover our own but will be merging those in July when our contract is up. The bills are all in my name to help my credit score. As for groceries, the big grocery trips we just give them two cards and they split it down the middle. We often eat out so we take turns with who buys. Same goes for smaller grocery trips (just picking up specific stuff for a meal). Up until about 6 weeks ago this was all different. I worked one part time job that didn't pay well and was pretty broke. I could afford rent and utilities but nothing else so he covered everything. Now that I have a job that pays almost as much as his I pay for my share. I also try to pick up more of the stuff he used to pay for (take out and restaurant tabs) to make up for the months of him supporting me.

tafft1 · March 2010

My situtation is pretty odd for most people in this day and age , but i give him the money and he makes sure the bills are paid. We have seperate accounts but he has majority of the money , and i am perfectly fine with this. i ejoy the fact he is in control of the finances and how and when we spend money. This isn't to say i don't have access to it , but it all goes throgh him first.

amagwire · March 2010

I make a lot more money than my fiance, so it's not split evenly. He is in school full time and works part time. He gives me about 50% of the rent and I take care of the rest of the bills.

My last relationship was a long term live in b/f and we split everything down to the cents. We literally had our own groceries and it was terrible. As long as you're on the same page, anything can work!

sapphirebaby926 · March 2010

Before we got engaged and combined our bank accounts we would have one person pay rent one month and the other paid all the others bills (electric, cable, internet, and food) and then we would switch the next month.

Goldlie11 · March 2010

We pay equal percentages for everything except the food. The food we split 50/50. I make more than FI so I end up paying more than him.

mrs.rab · March 2010

We split rent, and each write our own checks. Well money order for me (I don't believe in checks).

He takes care of the utilities, he never remembers to ask for anything(or he just doesn't care), so if I remember I'll just give him some cash.

And whoever is out at the moment when we need groceries is who picks them up. But it is usually an every other time we need them so it is pretty even.

His income is more than mine, so he tends to take care of more things....

I agree with being on the same page and everything will work out. To each their own.

202987 · March 2010

Sorry if I repeated myself through threads-
Right now, we have separate accounts. He pays rent, cable, power since they are in his name, and I have AT&T (the cell phones). I cut him checks, less whatever he owes me for whatever (concert tickets on credit card, stuff like that).
Groceries we divide in the cart into his and mine (and split up mutual things). This is seen as weird by most, and my mom seems to think this makes us more roomies than a couple.
We are going to get a joint account one of these days (it's on my to-do list, right after "make a to-do list").

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_splitting-bills?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:12cbb951-462a-42fd-a173-28650315681fPost:e76945b5-fcc4-41dd-897b-936bc9c2f07b">Re: Splitting bills</a>:
[QUOTE]IFor things like groceries, bills and household expenses though we opened a joint credit card and every month we charge everything on there and at the end of the month we split it down the middle 50/50. Makes things really easy to figure out. Plus, we are earning credit card rewards points so we get that advantage too.
Posted by jessicaanderik[/QUOTE]

This is absolutely brilliant, and I am going to suggest this to BF as soon as I'm unlazy enough to get up. Thanks!

jeanacorina · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_splitting-bills?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:12cbb951-462a-42fd-a173-28650315681fPost:4f4306bd-e3bd-421b-91b1-c0c06c68e142">Re: Splitting bills</a>:
[QUOTE]Groceries we divide in the cart into his and mine (and split up mutual things). This is seen as weird by most, and my mom seems to think this makes us more roomies than a couple.
Posted by 202987[/QUOTE]

I agree with your mom, lol!

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

SigKapLily · March 2010

We live in the house that my bf bought, so he pays the mortgage and all the house related stuff as well as our cell phone bill since we have a family plan and he gets a discount with his work. I pay for cable/internet/phone and our grocerys plus all the additional stuff for our puppy. It works out that he pays a bit more, but he has a better job/less student loans than I do.

lodonnell616 · March 2010

As its such a popular topic...I'll add my .02, too.

BF and I split rent 60 % him, 40% me. He makes a fair bit more so it makes sense. We do a similar split for all large purchases (i.e. new fridge, new couch). Before anyone asks--in Germany, you own your kitchen in a rented place...and this includes countertops, cabinets, and even the sink!! We use his cc alot to get frequent flier miles, so normally at month end he takes the bill and our shared purchases and sorts out who owes what. This includes a split of smaller purchases, like groceries.

He pays all utilities, and I have a cell for work so no bill to pay, and he has his own so he pays. We don't have a car, and no debt, so we put a lot in the bank. II put my cash into investments though--two accounts one for retirement and one that I call the "slush fund" which will help pay for a downpayment on a home and/or wedding if/when we have one.

I think its really all about what way works for you, at the moment we've never discussed a joint account since our method seems to be working fine and I've unfortunately heard too many horror stories about joint accounts, so I think we'd wait for marriage for that, if we even did it at all.

josh&jess2010 · March 2010

What I did when I lived with my boyfriend was we split going to get groceries. Since you said you like specific stuff he doesn't write a list down when he goes to the store. Just switch off everytime. That worked for us.

As far as rent went most apartments and places like only one check. So if they do then have one of yall just write the other one a personal check and put it in as one. If they let yall do seperate ones than just do it by half.

Joint accounts is just never a good idea until after marriage I think. Honestly, I gets messy at least ours did. Plus there's that possiblity that if one gets mad there goes the account or one person is cut off while one still has access.

Just keep it 50/50 it's just really the best thing to do. Nothing is set in stone and this keeps everything fair and even.

jeanacorina · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_splitting-bills?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:12cbb951-462a-42fd-a173-28650315681fPost:2b7f617a-a649-4801-9880-25669710884e">Re: Splitting bills</a>:
[QUOTE]Joint accounts is just never a good idea until after marriage I think.
Posted by josh&jess2010[/QUOTE]

I don't think it's "never" a good idea. It just depends on the couple. We've had our joint account for a few years now, and I admit it took some adjustment to get used to how the other spends money and come up with an agreement on how to manage the funds.

However, I'm glad we got through all that BEFORE we're married. It's one less thing we'll need to change/merge/discuss/get used to after the wedding.

JenniferB27 · March 2010

My FI and I split our shared bills 50/50 (rent, utilities, groceries). He writes me a check for his half. We each take care of our personal bills (student loans, credit cards, medical bills, gas, car payments, car insurance) and he pays when we go out to eat or to the movies (the majority of the time). It works well for us!

dwest2201 · March 2010

I just posted a new topic that I discussed this in... I'm too busy/lazy to retype... click here if you wanna read it....

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/?plckForumPage=ForumDiscussion&plckDiscussionId=Cat%3aSpecial+Topic+Wedding+BoardsForum%3a136Discussion%3a8ed367cf-7e63-4368-9360-d12a5e5d5104

Splitting bills

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