Cash Bar at Bridal Shower

nickid39 · August 2012

Maid of Honor here. My mom and I are throwing my sister her Bridal shower. It goes from 11:30 - 3 on a Sunday. Food (3 course lunch and numerous dessert options) and Drink (fountain drinks, iced tea, regular & decaf coffee) are provided to all guests.

We've been burned before by running a bar tab so for the alcohol option, we're offering only a champagne punch (basically a mimosa). Anything else is cash bar. We figured it's early on a Sunday morning and people won't drink much outside Mimosas. Is it rude to only offer one alcohol choice? We feel funny that guests would have to pay for anything at all but don't want to feel obligated to pay for the people who order their bloody mary's with Belvidere or want martini's before noon.

Sorry if this has already been asked but was only able to find people looking for opinions on cash bar at weddings. Just looking for an opinion on Shower etiquette outside of friends and families. Thank you.

hoffse · August 2012

Cash bars are inappropriate. However, I think in your case, just hosting what you were planning on hosting sounds lovely. It's mid-afternoon on a Sunday, and I doubt most people would expect to have drinks at all. And anybody who does want a drink can do your champagne mimosas. I would just leave it at this and not worry about having a cash bar at all. Just my $0.02.

StephBeanWed61502 · August 2012

The rule about cash bars does not change based on the function being hosted. A cash bar is always a no. Just host the mimosas and non alcoholic drinks if that is what you want to do, and don't offer the cash bar option at all.

nickid39 · August 2012

Thank you all so much!

So if someone sees there's mimosas offered but doesn't want them, do we point them in the direction of the bar? I want to be accomodating but don't want to be rude.

Again thank you for opinions. So helpful!!

Loopyseven · August 2012

For the type of event you're having, I'd offer the mimosas and skip the cash bar entirely.

mica178 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-at-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42a350e4-6a54-4047-bf0a-cea6310309f4Post:ebb59048-0ca8-4325-b062-d284546766f3">Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all so much! So if someone sees there's mimosas offered but doesn't want them, do we point them in the direction of the bar? I want to be accomodating but don't want to be rude. Again thank you for opinions. So helpful!!
Posted by nickid39[/QUOTE]

<div>The shower is at a restaurant, right? So you can't close the main bar, I'm guessing. </div><div>
</div><div>If guests want something other than what you are covering, they can go to the bar and buy themselves a different drink, but you shouldn't publicize that option (you can have the bartender explain what is covered).</div>

melb2013 · August 2012

No cash bar. Mimosas sound good, but honestly, I wouldn't, nor would anyone I know, drink at that time of day. You could skip it and be fine.

crash2729 · August 2012

Are you guys having it at a restaurant?

If they really want something besides what you are hosting I'm sure they'll go to the bar to purchase themselves.

hoffse · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-at-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42a350e4-6a54-4047-bf0a-cea6310309f4Post:ebb59048-0ca8-4325-b062-d284546766f3">Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all so much! So if someone sees there's mimosas offered but doesn't want them, do we point them in the direction of the bar? I want to be accomodating but don't want to be rude. Again thank you for opinions. So helpful!!
Posted by nickid39[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that as long as you have a variety of non-alcoholic drinks (tea, soft drinks, water, lemonade, maybe even juice) then there is no need to point them toward the bar. People who don't want mimosas can go without alcohol for a few hours.</div>

nickid39 · August 2012

[QUOTE]The shower is at a restaurant, right? So you can't close the main bar, I'm guessing. If guests want something other than what you are covering, they can go to the bar and buy themselves a different drink, but you shouldn't publicize that option (you can have the bartender explain what is covered).
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes it's in a restaurant. We're in a private room but the restaurant and the bar will be open. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so so so much!</div>

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-at-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42a350e4-6a54-4047-bf0a-cea6310309f4Post:dcd0bf2a-1b60-4f1f-9eea-54e992c5ea20">Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]No cash bar. Mimosas sound good, but honestly, I wouldn't, nor would anyone I know, drink at that time of day. You could skip it and be fine.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

On the flip side, everyone I know would have a drink at that hour at a bridal shower, birthday party, christening, baby shower or holiday. Hehe.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2012

I'm assuming this is in a restaurant? In a semi-private area or private room? Then you can't exactly prohibit people from going to the bar, but you can have menus (print them yourself if the restaurant doesn't do it) that have what you are hosting.

Something like this:

Salad - mixed baby greens with walnuts, grape tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette

Entree - choice of chicken-cashew salad with cranberries, served on a fresh croissant with french fries, or eggs benedict, served with house hollandaise and breakfast potatoes

Dessert - freshly baked cookies with vanilla ice cream

Beverages: iced tea, coca-cola, diet coke, sprite, coffee, decaffinated coffee

Signature drink: mimosa punch

IMO, this set up is similar to ANY hosted function at a restaurant with a limited menu. If I'm offering chicken, fish and a veggie pasta, and someone wants to order a steak, well, that's not part of what I'm offering, you know? So yeah, if someone wants to order a martini, well, that's not part of the package.

I would also, however, spread the word that only the signature drink is hosted.

nickid39 · August 2012

<div>[QUOTE]On the flip side, everyone I know would have a drink at that hour at a bridal shower, birthday party, christening, baby shower or holiday. Hehe.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>My sister and her friends are 23 so this is totally true! I'm glad I'm not the only one! hahahaha!</div><div>
</div>
[QUOTE]I'm assuming this is in a restaurant? In a semi-private area or private room? Then you can't exactly prohibit people from going to the bar, but you can have menus (print them yourself if the restaurant doesn't do it) that have what you are hosting. Something like this: Salad - mixed baby greens with walnuts, grape tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette Entree - choice of chicken-cashew salad with cranberries, served on a fresh croissant with french fries, or eggs benedict, served with house hollandaise and breakfast potatoes Dessert - freshly baked cookies with vanilla ice cream Beverages: iced tea, coca-cola, diet coke, sprite, coffee, decaffinated coffee Signature drink: mimosa punch IMO, this set up is similar to ANY hosted function at a restaurant with a limited menu. If I'm offering chicken, fish and a veggie pasta, and someone wants to order a steak, well, that's not part of what I'm offering, you know? So yeah, if someone wants to order a martini, well, that's not part of the package. I would also, however, spread the word that only the signature drink is hosted.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is so great! The restaurant does offer menus so we'll make sure the signature drink is added. Thank you so much for that suggestion!

</div>

crash2729 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-at-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42a350e4-6a54-4047-bf0a-cea6310309f4Post:548d3935-bc42-42ba-bed1-d2e3f217297a">Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes it's in a restaurant. We're in a private room but the restaurant and the bar will be open. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so so so much!
Posted by nickid39[/QUOTE]
We did this at my RD. <div>ILs hosted non-alcoholic beverages and we went and got bar drinks if we wanted them.</div><div>
</div><div>It wasn't a big deal, the menu said what was hosted so no one was surprised.</div>

HeidiWard04 · August 2012

I am actually not in the "a cash bar is always tacky" camp.

I think cash bars or similar set-ups are totally appropriate for a lot of things, including a shower like this one. You are providing a beautiful event. I agree with others that I wouldn't advertise a "cash bar" per se. However, folks are welcome at their own expense to pick up drinks beyond what you are offering.

Our rehearsal luncheon is being held in an almost identical setting (private room at a restaurant, set menu etc). Non-alcoholic drinks are included, alcohol is not.

baird32 · August 2012

I think having the regular beverages and mimosas are perfect. My bridal shower was on a Sunday at 3. My fiance made the gesture of buying champagne for the ladies. I'll just say we took home all the bottles. I don't think anyone is going to care for rum or beer on a Sunday afternoon.

jessicabessica · August 2012

My bridal shower was at a restaurant on Sunday afternoon (I think it was around noon or 1). My shower hostess did not offer any alcohol, and there were no complaints. No one went over to the restaurant bar or tried to order alcohol from the wait staff. I think mimosas are an awesome addition, though.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to Re:Cash Bar at Bridal Shower:[QUOTE] My sister and her friends are 23 so this is totally true! I'm glad I'm not the only one! hahahaha!nickid39[/QUOTE]

Hmmm... We're all in our thirties. We just like a drink at social functions! :

melb2013 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-at-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42a350e4-6a54-4047-bf0a-cea6310309f4Post:a6ef06c2-9e40-4721-a249-340f4cd63d84">Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash Bar at Bridal Shower : On the flip side, everyone I know would have a drink at that hour at a bridal shower, birthday party, christening, baby shower or holiday. Hehe.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha okay, maybe I'm weird!

</div>

nickid39 · August 2012

Thank you all so much for your input! It's really nice to hear the opinions of people who aren't family or friends trying to get you to have an open bar at a shower for their benefit. You all had really great suggestions. My mom and I feel so much better about just serving the mimosas and calling it a day. Thanks again!

OwningAHome1981 · August 2012

Cash bars are and always will be extremely rude and tacky if that is the only option. However as long as there is one free option I feel it's fine. For our engagement party we did open wine and beer... Cash bar for everything else.

Miss_2010 · August 2012

I've never been to a shower of any type where there is alcohol being served. There MIGHT be a couple of bottle of champagne and orange juice on a table with some cookies and tea/coffee next to it. But even then I would have to think hard about whose shower that actually was.

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